This is by no means Webster's definition of pain, but it's the definition that the Holy Spirit gave to me as I was running this morning, lol, appropriate during a run, right?! Also this is the definition that my flesh wants me to see:
Persistent
Agony
Initiating
Negativity
Ok, so don't worry, this blog will end up being an encouragement so please keep reading! Yesterday God used some beautiful women to open my eyes to some revelation as to what I have been processing internally. You know who you are and I thank God for you! It's amazing what an hour of talking split throughout the day with women of God can do for you!
My last blog was, well, I thought, a passionate cry for God to keep rewriting my story. A cry to want to do more, be more etc. I am still on that journey and train of thought, but while talking through things yesterday, I realize I have been fighting and praying through this issue of pain and suffering and of being content in it and being discontent in it. What is God's heart in all of that? Am I feeling and thinking the right things etc. Pretty much over analyzing lol. But, here's what God has helped me come to for today.
There are a lot of us who have been struggling with "PAIN", whether it be physical, spiritual or emotional, in our lives over the same issues for many, many years. What I've noticed over the years is that pain can be something that certainly produces negativity in our lives. It causes the bad things in our lives to be bigger than the good fruit that God is producing through the pain. So pain redefined from the Holy Spirit's perspective: (at least for me:)
Persistent
Acknowledgement
Initiating
New Life
Let me explain. In our pain, if we are persistent in acknowledging God in every area of our lives, in every moment of our lives it initiates new life or we could say, new fruit. Doesn't growth speak of new life? Bearing good fruit is growth, it's new life.
Proverbs 3:5-8, " Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He will direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, fear the Lord and depart from evil. It is health to your flesh and strength to your bones."
My favorite scripture and theme of my life over the last year. Trusting in Jesus and not leaning on my understanding. Acknowledging Him and He is directing my path which leads to health and strength!
So in conclusion ;), in one of my conversations yesterday it hit me. I know all of these things. I know that the pain and the suffering in my life is producing amazing things, touching other people and doing exactly what God intends for it to do. But here's the deal, IT DOESN'T MAKE THE PROCESS OR THE JOURNEY ANY LESS PAINFUL!!! It still hurts, there is still the fight to either acknowledge negativity or new life.
Jesus knew His journey on this earth. He knew that one day, He was going to be beaten beyond recognition and then be brutally nailed to the cross to pay the price for our sins. Do you think for one moment that every crack of that whip and pound of that hammer was any less painful just because He knew the outcome and the purpose of the pain?
Think about that. Exactly. Pain is pain, but we have to define it with God's perspective and even though it still hurts we can choose to see the the good fruit over the negative and in that we are glorifying God and putting the enemy where he belongs.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Monday, January 6, 2014
LISTEN UP! A MUST READ!!! My Story: Rewritten
" The only Bible some people will ever read is you." Pastor Russ Austin
What a statement. What a revelation. We are doing a new series at our church called "Story". This past Sunday was the first message of the series and it was inspiring and dead on with what I have been praying for. I've been crying out to God asking Him what story do I have, what testimony am I if all I can do is mope around the cave and write the occasional blog? What difference am I making. What I've been doing is just not good enough any more. My story has to be improved upon.
I want to be that great protagonist (hero) that our pastor was talking about. I want a story where my character is ambitious. Someone who is compelling and interesting. When people are around me, or read what I am writing or hear what I am singing, to be inspired to do more, to be inspired to do the things that I am passionate about. I want to rub off on them.
I want to be the hero in the story that when people read about me, whatever my mission is, whatever I am out to fix or do is so powerful that it awakens that very thing in others around me!
All of you know the journey that I have been on. Yesterday, I drove for the first time more than 10 minutes by myself in about 3 months because of the vertigo issues. I only did so because the Holy Spirit said, "Go". You know my motto, if He speaks, I do it, if I don't hear Him, I don't move.
While talking with a friend yesterday, I was saying how one of the things that God is challenging me on is my listening skills. While being with friends, others etc. And then it hit me. If I'm not a good listener in the flesh, to those around me, then how can I be a good listener to the Holy Spirit? See here's the thing, I'm beginning to believe that God talks to me way more than I hear Him.
John 8:47, " The who is from God listens to God's words. This is why you don't listen, because you are not from God."
My number 1 goal this year: To be a better listener. Not only because God has made this my goal, but also because my whole life depends on it. Hearing Him and then obeying what I hear is what is going to amp up my story in every way.
I want to wake up every day and choose to confess the Word of God (not that I don't to some extent already), but instead I do it out of sheer desperation to survive. I want to choose to passionately run after and pursue God, not just out of a survival mentality, but just because that's the way it should be because He is God and deserves my whole life.
I have had this conversation with God before and I know that He believes me when I say that I will do this if He were to take all the physical stuff away. But every time we talk about it, He simply says, " I believe you, you're just not there yet."
Ok. Ok, I'm not there yet. So my next goal for this year, how do I get there??? What's awesome is God is revealing to me the how to already. He is practically forming it for me so I can move in that direction.
I will leave you with this, Matthew 6:33, " But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." This is where everyone's story must begin. Without His direction and redemptive and restoring power we have no story.
My mission is very clear as to what I am to fix and save, but I can't do it in my own strength. I haven't been trying to actually, but now God is just growing me even more. He has been writing my story and shaping the theme and now it's time for action. It's time for people to be able to read what He is writing and it make a difference.
What a statement. What a revelation. We are doing a new series at our church called "Story". This past Sunday was the first message of the series and it was inspiring and dead on with what I have been praying for. I've been crying out to God asking Him what story do I have, what testimony am I if all I can do is mope around the cave and write the occasional blog? What difference am I making. What I've been doing is just not good enough any more. My story has to be improved upon.
I want to be that great protagonist (hero) that our pastor was talking about. I want a story where my character is ambitious. Someone who is compelling and interesting. When people are around me, or read what I am writing or hear what I am singing, to be inspired to do more, to be inspired to do the things that I am passionate about. I want to rub off on them.
I want to be the hero in the story that when people read about me, whatever my mission is, whatever I am out to fix or do is so powerful that it awakens that very thing in others around me!
All of you know the journey that I have been on. Yesterday, I drove for the first time more than 10 minutes by myself in about 3 months because of the vertigo issues. I only did so because the Holy Spirit said, "Go". You know my motto, if He speaks, I do it, if I don't hear Him, I don't move.
While talking with a friend yesterday, I was saying how one of the things that God is challenging me on is my listening skills. While being with friends, others etc. And then it hit me. If I'm not a good listener in the flesh, to those around me, then how can I be a good listener to the Holy Spirit? See here's the thing, I'm beginning to believe that God talks to me way more than I hear Him.
John 8:47, " The who is from God listens to God's words. This is why you don't listen, because you are not from God."
My number 1 goal this year: To be a better listener. Not only because God has made this my goal, but also because my whole life depends on it. Hearing Him and then obeying what I hear is what is going to amp up my story in every way.
I want to wake up every day and choose to confess the Word of God (not that I don't to some extent already), but instead I do it out of sheer desperation to survive. I want to choose to passionately run after and pursue God, not just out of a survival mentality, but just because that's the way it should be because He is God and deserves my whole life.
I have had this conversation with God before and I know that He believes me when I say that I will do this if He were to take all the physical stuff away. But every time we talk about it, He simply says, " I believe you, you're just not there yet."
Ok. Ok, I'm not there yet. So my next goal for this year, how do I get there??? What's awesome is God is revealing to me the how to already. He is practically forming it for me so I can move in that direction.
I will leave you with this, Matthew 6:33, " But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." This is where everyone's story must begin. Without His direction and redemptive and restoring power we have no story.
My mission is very clear as to what I am to fix and save, but I can't do it in my own strength. I haven't been trying to actually, but now God is just growing me even more. He has been writing my story and shaping the theme and now it's time for action. It's time for people to be able to read what He is writing and it make a difference.
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