Psalm 30...definitely a word for today!

Yes, I did the whole, what day is it, turn to that Psalm and you know what I found? The absolute perfect word from God for me today.

Psalm 30

1.I will exalt You, O Lord, for You lifted me out of the depths and did not let my enemies gloat over me. 

2.O Lord my God, I called to You for help and You healed me. 

3.O Lord, You brought me up from the grave; You spared me from going down into the pit.

4.Sing to the Lord, you saints of His; praise His holy name.

5.For His anger lasts only a moment, but His favor lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.

6.When I felt secure, I said, " I will never be shaken." 

7.O Lord, when You favored me, You made my mountain stand firm; but when you hid Your face, I was dismayed.

8.To You, O Lord, I called; to the Lord I cried for mercy: 

9."What gain is there in my destruction, in my going down into the pit? Will the dust praise You? Will it proclaim Your faithfulness?

10.Hear, O Lord, and be merciful to me; O Lord, be my help."

11.You turned my wailing into dancing; You removed my sackcloth and clothed me with joy, 

12.that my heart heart may sing to You and not be silent. O Lord my God, I will give you thanks forever.

No embellishment needed on this one today! I pray it speaks to you the way that God needs it to for you to overcome today. God's Word is so living and active, just can't get enough!

What if you only had 3 months?

I know that sounds a bit morbid! This coming week marks the 3 month mark of being off of all the ms medications! Praise God! Chad and I are continuing to believe that I am healed of ms despite what my body may feel. I have gone off of the ms medications in the past to get pregnant and by about the 3 month mark is when I have usually experienced some major issues. Although it is in the back of mind, I am trying to re-program my mind to think on things that are above like the fact that no weapon formed against me will prosper and that I will continue to regain strength and healing with every month not go the opposite direction.

Romans 5:5, " And hope (to look forward to with desire and reasonable confidence)  does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit whom He has given us."

I am hoping or looking forward to with desire and reasonable confidence that God's love for me is evident in my heart via the Holy Spirit. I want to continue to live by the Spirit so that my mind and body will align with all the promises that God has laid out before me. I want to have confidence that God has healed my body from this disease and that when we hit that 3 month mark things are just gonna keep getting better and better. I have the faith, just still working on that complete confidence.

So to work on that confidence...I don't just have 3 months, I have however long God decides to give me not some ms medication. I know that God has healed me and we continue to stand and believe. We believe that God's word is living and active in our lives therefore we can walk as if we are whole and healed and we are promised a long and fruitful life. Look it up! Trust me, it's there!

Let's put our hope in Him today and everyday and let the Holy Spirit be our Helper.

Miracles do happen!

Yes, they happen! He does still perform them in this time! It's been quite an eventful month. I had to get on here and just write about God's greatness. As I have been recovering over this last month, I have tackled some pretty big things, big things to me at least. First, the Word, can't do anything without that...

Psalm 77:14, " You are the God who performs miracles; You display Your power among the peoples."

So this word is definitely living and active in my life these days. While I still don't feel like I can run a marathon or do the things that I would consider completely normal, here's a few miraculous things to give God glory for:

1. This is the 2nd week in a row where I haven't needed anyone here with me at my house to help me with my boys because of health reasons.

2. I have driven my car 3 times within the last two weeks. One of those times was yesterday, completely by myself! I went to the grocery store, did the shopping and drove home for the first time in 9 months!

3. This past Friday night, I sang, yes, I sang. I sang for our Canvas event at church for a beautiful woman of God who was performing a dance. I told some friends I could have just taken 3 steps on the stage and walked off and been grateful! LOL! It was a miracle for me to be up there doing that.

Now some of you may be saying, " Well you are back on that benzo drug that seems to help etc." Let me just clear one thing up. While the benzo drug has helped, it is not the cure all, trust me. I still go through more physically than I care too. I will not allow the world to take credit for what God has done for me. The things that He has allowed me to do is just that, things that HE has allowed me to do, not a medication.

I am still off of all ms medications and plan to stay off of them as we are continuing to believe that I am healed. As for where we go from here, I don't know, I just know it's gotta be good because we are walking by the the Spirit and trusting Him every step of the way.

Please keep praying, we feel all of it, please believe me. We have that grace and peace because there are so many of you holding us up. If you are having a hard time believing or trusting God for a miracle or even that He does them...here's your little bit of encouragement from my corner. He does and He will.

A tribute to Thomas

Yes, doubting Thomas. He's the person on my mind this morning. I have been reading about him this morning and there are some amazing things that God is revealing to me. Of course I had to jump on here and share! It's really important that I write out the passage of scripture that I am studying today so that I can highlight certain things so here we go...

John 20: 24-31, "24. Now Thomas one of the twelve, was not with the disciples when Jesus came.25. So the other disciples told him,' We have seen the Lord!' (I can hear Thomas thinking, well goody for you) But he said to them, ' Unless I see the nail marks in His hands and put my finger where the nails were, and put my hand into His side, I will not believe it.'

* The first thing that stuck out to me was that Thomas was not with the other disciples when Jesus first came. He wasn't around to witness that miracle. I realized that even though I have witnessed God's presence many times, I'm not sure that I have actually seen the miraculous, as in healings etc. People who could not see, getting their sight back. People who were lame and get up and start walking. I haven't really witnessed God's presence in that way in real time. I have seen it on tv or read stories, but it's not the same, according to Thomas, as being there. Otherwise, the other disciples witnessing it and just telling Thomas about it would have been good enough. But it wasn't if you read that rest of the above verses.

26. A week later his disciples were in the house again, and Thomas was with them. Though the doors were locked, Jesus came and stood among them and said, ' Peace be with you!' 27.Then He said to Thomas, ' Put your finger here; see my hands. Reach out your hand and put it into my side. Stop doubting and believe.' 

* Wow. How many of us want Jesus to just show up like that in our situations. Jesus had a special mercy on Thomas to show up like that and give Thomas the proof that he desired. I mean, come on. He literally got exactly what he asked for. I have to admit, that during my journey, I have wanted God to show up like that. If I could just touch His hands, see His face so that this whole doubting and disbelief would completely disappear and not be a battle that I have to keep fighting.

29.Thomas said to Him, ' My Lord and my God!' Then Jesus told him, ' Because you have seen me, you have believed; blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed.'

* Um, duh, if Thomas didn't believe after this, well, he needs counseling. But what's hilarious is that even though, like I said earlier, I haven't seen miracle after miracle in my face, I have seen the presence of God in powerful ways. He has even used me to usher that presence in and yet, I am still shaken in my belief every day...so I believe I'm the one who needs counseling! All kidding aside...Jesus said blessed are we who HAVE NOT SEEN AND YET HAVE BELIEVED. That's us, we have not seen Jesus physically in front of us but we still continue to hang on and believe that He will do what He has promised and that He exist. That makes us BLESSED(divinely or supremely favored; fortunate,blissfully happy or contented).

30. Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of His disciples, which are not recorded in this book. 31. But these are written that you may believe that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God, and that by believing you may have life in His name."

* Ah, yes, the powerful Word of God. Always there for us. It is our proof, time and time again that we have no reason to doubt or fear that He is good and that He is the same yesterday, today and forever. We do not have to be shaken or blown about by the wind every time something happens that seems contrary to what He has promised. The Word, the Word, the Word. We have to keep it in us until it's apart of us like an appendage. When it's not there we should feel like something is very wrong and something is really missing.

I write this today, because more of my tears come from the fact that I detest that I have to convince my mind and my body everyday not to doubt God and all that He has said. I am overcoming. I do believe and I am not in fear. God is just continuing to back up everything through His Word so that I can continue to help others get free from these nagging things. We have to keep speaking out loud the miraculous. We have to keep encouraging each other with how God is showing up in our lives.

Yesterday was not an amazing day for me physically and neither is today really, but I went to church yesterday and I drove my car for a 20 minute stent, painted pumpkins with my boys and our wonderful neighbors and today I am completely on my own with my babes! Yes, God is so, so good!

So thanks Doubting Thomas, I'm glad you got your proof, I believe I got mine too!

I need encouragement!!!

And not because I am discouraged at this moment and time! I am actually feeling pretty encouraged this morning. I am armored up and God's word is pumping through my veins. I had a thought as I was reading these verses:

Psalm 9:1-2, " I will praise You, O Lord, with all my heart; I will tell of all Your wonders. I will be glad and rejoice in You; I will sing praise to Your name, O Most High."

I tend to gather a lot of my encouragement just from the Holy Spirit and from the Word of God recently as opposed to watching or listening or reading the testimonies of others. It's just where God has had me. But lately I have been hearing how God has been miraculously moving in people's lives and it is encouraging me so much more than it ever has before. I was thinking that everyone who reads this blog today could take a second and just list one good thing that God is doing in your life. It can be so simple...I mean to the extent that you got out of bed this morning! I figure if we all do this then we can encourage each other at the same time and do exactly what Psalm 9:1-2 says. We can rejoice in Him and give praise to who deserves it.

My pastor said something great in his message on Sunday. He was talking about armoring up and he said behind our circumstances is a coward aka the enemy, scheming to see how he can get us to veer from God. He hates when we actually give glory to God. He can't stand it...it's like we are kicking him in the face! 

Not everything has to be perfect for us to give glory to God, boy do I know that. Although I am doing better, things certainly are not where they need to be. But here's what I know, Psalm 9:10, " Those who know Your name will trust in You, for You, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek You." 

So me first...even though I am back on the benzo drug and I am still off of all ms medications and I am not having any issues in that area. I drove for the first time in almost 10 months yesterday and for the past two weeks, I have been off the couch and taking care of my family and my home. I will be able to be at my brother's wedding this week too! I could keep going, but it's your turn to recognize God's goodness in your life. Just leave your comments on here or Facebook!

God is too good and we don't give Him nearly enough credit for everything that is going right in our lives, so let's start today and help each other pick up our shield of faith. Maybe it won't be so heavy to carry today :-)

"And Even Now,

As we sing Your Name, grace is falling, chains are breaking. Even now as we sing Your Name, Jesus!" (Sarah Reeves "Sweetest Name"). I was gonna say SOMETIMES all we need is the name of Jesus, but that's not true. We need the name of Jesus all the time. In our deepest darkest valleys and on our highest mountain peak. What would happen if we all just stopped everything we were doing right now and just said His name? Go ahead, I dare you, do it...just try it. I'll wait....


The Bible says in Acts 4:12, " Salvation is found in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given to men by which we must be saved." I love how it says, " by which we MUST be saved". We must means we have to. I don't know about you, but I need saving everyday. And some days every moment of the day. All I have to do is call on the name of Jesus and every bit of grace and strength and mercy comes flooding into my spirit and sets me free for that moment.

Psalm 3:1-4," O Lord, how many are my foes! How many rise up against me: Many are saying of me, God will not deliver him. But You are a shield around me, O Lord; You bestow glory on me and lift up my head. To the Lord I cry aloud, and He answers me from His holy hill."

There are so many people that are filled with doubt that God has not or will not deliver me from this current trial. I'm sure it's the same for all of you too. But I just look at them and say, " Jesus". That's really what Psalm 3 is saying right? We cry His name and He is right there.

I challenge you in every moment of your day today and everyday to just stop and say His name. See what happens. Don't just do it when you need saving, do it because it's the sweetest thing that will ever come from your lips. Just say it because He is worth being mentioned and worth being recognized in our lives. He's just...awesome.

Thank You Jesus, we say Your name and recognize that it is the sweetest thing that we could ever say. Thank You for walking with us as we depend on Your Holy Spirit to be our helper. We love you so much. We honor You Jesus. AMEN!

The Real Me

Is still broken, in a good way, and completely fragile. In a couple of weeks, I have been asked to sing  for our Canvas event at the church. It will be the first time in almost a year since I have taken to that black wood. Yes, I am having to really work up the courage for that moment. That's the real me right now. I have been back on medication for a couple of weeks now and am almost completely functional on my own. I am still off of all ms medications, going on 2 months now. Praise God.

Chad and I are in an unbelievable place spiritually with all of this. We are confident that we made the right the decision to go back on the benzo drug, but are also still confident that Jesus is the only way out of all of this. He is the only answer on the other side. We are just masking the symptoms but we really need Him to heal me through and through and show us our next steps in this journey.

We have come to a new level in the matter of fear and doubt. We are still standing and believing that no matter what my body says, I am healed of ms! I am grateful to be able to function and am in no rush to do the things that seem to want to pressure me...like driving or even just being on my own for a whole day with my precious boys. God's timing is perfect and His grace is perfectly sufficient.

The real me is having to rebuild my confidence and my trust in what this body can do. Then I remember this verse Philippians 4:13, " I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." We have all heard this verse a million times. But here's what I hear the Holy Spirit saying to me through it today. I can do all things through Him...who strengthens me. So if it's not through Him then I can't do it. If it is through Him, then I will have all the strength and the courage I need to accomplish that which is in front of me.

I need this reminder everyday as I hear the Holy Spirit prompting me to take steps forward. Joshua 1:9, " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Do not be terrified...do not be discouraged, He is with me wherever I go. Wow, peace just floods every part of me as this word is living and active in me.

Transparent as I can be, the real me is moving onward and trying to advance God's Kingdom in the midst of what seems to be such a hopeless mess. I know that when I am weak, He is strong.