You learn that you have to live in victory today!
James 4:13-14, " Now listen, you who say,' Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.' Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes."
I was strapping on my shoes this morning doing my usual routine of submitting to the Holy Spirit and putting on each piece of the armor of God and the title of this blog hit me like a ton of bricks. What if tomorrow doesn't come for me? The answer, well, honestly I thought wow, all I have to think about is today and if that's the case, hey, I can do that. It's just one day, right? I know that seems morbid and weird but for someone who struggles everyday with questions like, what does the future hold, will I be able to walk tomorrow, will I even be able to get out of bed and function tomorrow...this is a HUGE relief!
When you look at the word of God there are so many scriptures pertaining to doing things daily. Submitting to the Holy Spirit, daily. Renewing our minds, daily. Putting on the armor of God, daily. This list keeps going and going. Every promise that was made if looked at in the light of today is in effect. If you really think about it, why did Jesus say to renew our minds daily? Why is submission to the Holy Spirit a daily struggle and commitment? Also, do you sleep in armor? I guess we could, but it'd be extremely uncomfortable! We let our guard down and take off our armor and so then we'd have to strap it back on the next day right?
A month ago, I was leading worship and my neck paralyzed right in the middle of me leading a song called " Lord Over All" crazy. I'll tell you what, when your neck paralyzes in front of 1,000 people and almost takes you to the ground multiple times, you'd better believe what you are singing! The next week we were told after 3 years of believing that God healed me of ms that there was an active lesion in the top of my spine causing all the problems. We were told that we'd better start looking at picking up meds for ms again etc, etc. We were also told our only option to stop the inflammation was to up the current steroid that I'm on for my adrenal glands in the hopes to get it to stop.
In the midst of that, a week later, after 3 years of taking the benzo drug that I am currently weaning off of, I completely forgot to take my morning dose and by mid-morning, while at church, I could barely get to the car to get home! I automatically dropped 10% of the meds and my body went into shock! So we thought it might be a good idea to try and stay at that level for week and see if my body would stabilize. If we did that, then I would gain about 10 weeks on this wean, awesome right??? Not so much. By Thursday, I could barely walk or function so we decided to just go up by 5% and my body has been stabilizing slowly but surely, praise God!
We asked God when we went to the neurologist that He would reveal truth that would set us free. Well, we got truth, but freedom is still in the fact that we believe that God has already healed me of ms despite what we see and have been told. So at this time we are not going back on medications for it. Our options were slim and we are doing some natural things and trusting in that word that was spoken so clearly almost 3 years ago.
Every day is a fight to keep our heads above the waves. BUT, if I know all I have to do is worry about today, then I can make a choice to submit and surrender and trust in God for that day and live it to the fullest instead of just trying to survive. When I start thinking about tomorrow, that all goes out the window because I don't have the strength for tomorrow. I only have the strength and grace for today because that is what God has given me. His mercies are new every morning, DAILY.
Matthew 6:34, " Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."
Oh so very true! So let's take God at His word, submit, surrender, armor up and walk in His mercies and promises and grace that He has provided for today. Renewing our minds to the fact that today is today and we can choose to embrace what God is saying about us or not. Then we can lay our heads down tonight knowing that if tomorrow doesn't come, we lived in victory today.
Tuesday, June 2, 2015
Monday, April 13, 2015
Freedom Comes With A Price
WOW! I can't believe how long it's been since my last post! So many exciting things have been going on, I don't even know where to begin. But what brings me here today is a compelling word that has been whirling around in my spirit for a couple of months now, setting me free to another level and our home. I heard the Holy Spirit say this word was worth the time to post. So here goes!
Galatians 5:1, " It is for freedom that Christ has set us free."
Freedom comes with a price. We've heard this phrase so many times. Especially around national holidays when we are celebrating our freedom and the people it took to allow that freedom to happen...soldiers etc. Freedom comes with a price. Nothing is free, it seems.
So since my last post I am not only still off of all MS medications (coming up on 3 years!) but I have also weaned from a blood pressure medication and am now weaning from the ever so powerful benzo drug that I have been on. We discovered it was hurting me and not helping me so here we are again with no other choice but to trust God and move forward. I am doing what they call a titration method which basically means that they have turned the pill into a liquid so that I can measure out whatever percentage necessary for each step down in the process. We are taking it so slow that it is going to take me a little over a year to get off of it. A few weeks ago, I was almost halfway there and we hit a wall, as in might have to go to the hospital wall or take more medicine and start from there. So I am in the process of getting stable and then off we go again! In the midst of that, I was offered the amazing honor of becoming the vocal director at our church! Yep, I was thinking the same thing you are..., " What?" We prayed and God said do it and that He would heal me as I go and it has been one of the most life giving things I have ever done.
I promise all of that ties into what I'm trying to say today! My goal to be free from the grip of this drug, from the grip of the ongoing effects of nerve damage in my body...to be able to drive again...it has come with a great price. I've been on a roller coaster of every known withdrawal symptom. Because of this and the life God has me in, I have had to sacrifice and pay a tremendous price to keep myself above the waves. Staying in the Word so I can win the battle spiritually, physically and mentally. I have had to stay extremely disciplined with my diet and exercising over the top. Ultimately keeping my mind renewed every moment of the day. This freedom doesn't feel free LOL!
Just looking at my journey before a diagnosis, the things I've walked through and had to pay a price for and it only makes me think of the price that was paid so that I can even walk through what I've walked through with victory. The price that was paid, the ultimate price, Jesus, His life, crucified, died on the cross for ME. Freedom from death, hell and the grave. Freedom from sickness and disease because of the stripes He bore. Freedom from this world and the pain that comes and the ability to count it all joy. The only difference in these freedoms is that I didn't have to pay the price, He did.
Not only did He obtain eternal life for us but He continues to give freely to us through the power of the Holy Spirit who is our Helper and through His Word. Here's where we pay another price by way of SUBMISSION. INTENTIONALLY SUBMITTING TO THE HOLY SPIRIT AND THE WORD IS THE KEY TO VICTORY.
Do you realize how many battles or shall we say freedoms we have lost just due to the fact that we haven't taken God at His word? The simple act of Ephesians 6:10-17 putting on the full armor of God? He has given us all the equipment, all the tools to face anything and everything. How incredible is that?
We recently introduced our boys to the concept of literally armoring up and Parker, our eldest son, is so deep into this truth it's awesome and extremely challenging! He wakes up every day like a poster child for the armor of God and will walk into Chad and I and say, " Have you armored up? (pointing his finger at us like the picture of the salvation army poster guy.)" It's so awesome! While awesome, also annoying as in convicting. We were doing home school one morning and I was getting a bit irritated because it was taking a little to long to do a subject and Parker said to me, " Mom, did you put on your shoes of peace?" Oh no he didn't. Then he said, " I have my shoes of peace on me and I'm making them work for me." Hahahahahaha! This boy. So I had to repent and make mine work for me to!
Freedom is ours. Serious freedom. Whether we feel it or not. We can over come and walk in freedom and victory. Live in freedom, count it all joy and walk an unshakable path.
John 8:36, " So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed."
Let's take God at His Word! Let's be vocal and intentional about armoring up. Let's make Him Lord and submit and surrender to Him and walk by the Spirit of God therefore producing the fruits of the Spirit in our lives...love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, gentleness and self control.
I'll leave you with a description of each piece of the armor of God the way we explained to our boys and it's the way I pray and equip myself every day:
Helmet of Salvation:this is meant to protect our minds from the enemy and the thoughts that so easily over come us.
Breast plate of Righteousness:so that our hearts can stay pure.
Belt of Truth:so that only truth enters our thoughts and we can walk in it.
Sandals or Shoes of Peace: so that we can be ready to go wherever God leads and walk in great peace knowing it is He who is leading us.
Shield of Faith: is our belief that Jesus will do what He says He will do.
Sword of the Spirit: The Word of God, sharper than any doubled edged sword. Helping us to divide between soul and spirit. It also helps us to use the other pieces of armor effectively because it renews our minds, keeps our hearts pure, helps us to walk in truth and peace and boost our faith!
This is so simple to do that the enemy tries to make this process more difficult. DON'T LET HIM. Armor up and see how victorious life can be.
Signing off for now...it was nice talking with you again :-)
Monday, August 11, 2014
The Good News sometimes feels like Bad News
Have you ever opened the Word and started reading and thought, " Man, I get it and I see what God is trying to say and it's really good, but why doesn't it feel good?". Um, I have many times. We just got back from an incredibly restful week at my in-laws lake house. Most of you saw my two previous posts and know that I have been walking through a few things physically and had to make the choice to go on this vacation trusting God with all of it.
All week long there was a very familiar phrase that kept popping up in my spirit, " Consider it all joy..." This morning, as I was exercising and praying and worshiping, getting myself submitted to the Holy Spirit, that same phrase kept rising up in my spirit, " Consider it all joy...". I knew all last week what God was saying to me, but this morning, I dove right into James 1 and started reading.
James 1:2-8, " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."
God reminded that when I was a teenager, and my mom can testify to this, that I plastered this verse on our refrigerator one day and it stayed there for many years. God has a way of bringing things back around. I wasn't going through the same things then as I am now obviously, but it's the same principle. I've read this passage many times over the years.
What I'm trying to say is that God is requiring me to look at my circumstance and then at a much higher level, consider it ALL joy. I really thought I was doing this. Here again, another humbling encounter with God. He showed me that I am a good over comer and even good at persevering so that was encouraging. BUT, has my mind, my words and my actions shown that I am doing it with joy. ABSOLUTELY NOT! I really believe this is why I have been feeling so stuck where I am. Feeling like I can't hear the Holy Spirit clearly. Feeling like I'm not moving forward physically and spiritually. I know I am, but, it's that feeling that I'm hitting a wall. It's because of this, doing things out of my own strength and not seeking the wisdom of God and counting it all joy.
You see, there is a difference between just overcoming and living in victory. We can't always overcome our issues completely, in other words, sometimes our issues just won't go away. And let me ask this very difficult question, what if they never do? Of course I believe and have hope that all my issues will be resolved while I still live on this earth. But I'm not the one who decides that. So what do I do in the meantime, what's my best chance of those issues being resolved here on earth? Well James 1 tells me my best chance is to consider it all joy and allow perseverance to finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
To live victoriously, we have to decide to consider it all joy. I don't want to lack anything. I really want and need everything that God wants me to have. In order to not live sick, think sick, plan sick, be sick, I have to consider it ALL joy.
All week long there was a very familiar phrase that kept popping up in my spirit, " Consider it all joy..." This morning, as I was exercising and praying and worshiping, getting myself submitted to the Holy Spirit, that same phrase kept rising up in my spirit, " Consider it all joy...". I knew all last week what God was saying to me, but this morning, I dove right into James 1 and started reading.
James 1:2-8, " Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you. But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord. Such a person is double-minded and unstable in all they do."
God reminded that when I was a teenager, and my mom can testify to this, that I plastered this verse on our refrigerator one day and it stayed there for many years. God has a way of bringing things back around. I wasn't going through the same things then as I am now obviously, but it's the same principle. I've read this passage many times over the years.
What I'm trying to say is that God is requiring me to look at my circumstance and then at a much higher level, consider it ALL joy. I really thought I was doing this. Here again, another humbling encounter with God. He showed me that I am a good over comer and even good at persevering so that was encouraging. BUT, has my mind, my words and my actions shown that I am doing it with joy. ABSOLUTELY NOT! I really believe this is why I have been feeling so stuck where I am. Feeling like I can't hear the Holy Spirit clearly. Feeling like I'm not moving forward physically and spiritually. I know I am, but, it's that feeling that I'm hitting a wall. It's because of this, doing things out of my own strength and not seeking the wisdom of God and counting it all joy.
You see, there is a difference between just overcoming and living in victory. We can't always overcome our issues completely, in other words, sometimes our issues just won't go away. And let me ask this very difficult question, what if they never do? Of course I believe and have hope that all my issues will be resolved while I still live on this earth. But I'm not the one who decides that. So what do I do in the meantime, what's my best chance of those issues being resolved here on earth? Well James 1 tells me my best chance is to consider it all joy and allow perseverance to finish its work so that I may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
To live victoriously, we have to decide to consider it all joy. I don't want to lack anything. I really want and need everything that God wants me to have. In order to not live sick, think sick, plan sick, be sick, I have to consider it ALL joy.
Saturday, August 2, 2014
You Know That Moment When...
Your doctors can do nothing for you and you just have to continue to COMPLETELY trust God? Yep, that just happened. I had to write today to let all of you know as an update to my previous post that I spoke with my doctors and they, by law, were not able to prescribe anything for me without me being seen since it has been so long! HA! Coincidence? I think not! So if we want anything before we leave for vacation, I would have to go to an emergency room and that peace that passes all understanding is not there for that.
Before we called my doctor, Chad and I prayed for God's divine wisdom. We knew that there would be no harm in a phone call. We also knew that God would give us whatever answers He wanted to give us because we are totally submitted to Him.
In all honesty, when they told me there was nothing they could do for me at this time, I had a one minute moment of anxiety/frustration, then God brought me back to my favorite scripture right now:
Proverbs 3:5-8, " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and will direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, but fear the Lord and depart from evil. It is health to your flesh and strength to your bones."
I could write this in all caps and bold every single word as it all applies to me every day!!! When this word arose in my spirit, I immediately stopped my mind from being anxious and just started thanking God for being faithful to His Word. Side note: It pays to hide the Word of God in your heart. You never know when you are going to need it;)
What's awesome is yesterday afternoon, my symptoms started to get better. WHAT?! Are they gone? No. But I believe in trusting in God and leaning on Him and His understanding and taking up that authority, He directed us to the right path, therefore bringing restoration to me. What we thought was wisdom, was not His wisdom and we asked Him to reveal that to us and He did. Can I just tell you, this has never happened to me when I have called my doctor. There was 3 days of confusion, this.never.happens. God shut that door. Now, I stand in a place of complete trust in Him once again with no other option. Easy, no. Peace that passes all understanding, yes.
I am continually amazed by Him and I have no doubts that my body is going to line up as I go. I am praising God for bringing wisdom to Chad and I. It's something that has been burning in our hearts to ask God for in every area of our lives recently. I feel break through coming and I am excited that God is real and He is for us and not against us(Romans 8:31)!
I pray that all of you will lean on Him and trust Him no matter what's happening. Thank you for praying for us. Please continue, don't back down, we need all of you!
Before we called my doctor, Chad and I prayed for God's divine wisdom. We knew that there would be no harm in a phone call. We also knew that God would give us whatever answers He wanted to give us because we are totally submitted to Him.
In all honesty, when they told me there was nothing they could do for me at this time, I had a one minute moment of anxiety/frustration, then God brought me back to my favorite scripture right now:
Proverbs 3:5-8, " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and will direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes, but fear the Lord and depart from evil. It is health to your flesh and strength to your bones."
I could write this in all caps and bold every single word as it all applies to me every day!!! When this word arose in my spirit, I immediately stopped my mind from being anxious and just started thanking God for being faithful to His Word. Side note: It pays to hide the Word of God in your heart. You never know when you are going to need it;)
What's awesome is yesterday afternoon, my symptoms started to get better. WHAT?! Are they gone? No. But I believe in trusting in God and leaning on Him and His understanding and taking up that authority, He directed us to the right path, therefore bringing restoration to me. What we thought was wisdom, was not His wisdom and we asked Him to reveal that to us and He did. Can I just tell you, this has never happened to me when I have called my doctor. There was 3 days of confusion, this.never.happens. God shut that door. Now, I stand in a place of complete trust in Him once again with no other option. Easy, no. Peace that passes all understanding, yes.
I am continually amazed by Him and I have no doubts that my body is going to line up as I go. I am praising God for bringing wisdom to Chad and I. It's something that has been burning in our hearts to ask God for in every area of our lives recently. I feel break through coming and I am excited that God is real and He is for us and not against us(Romans 8:31)!
I pray that all of you will lean on Him and trust Him no matter what's happening. Thank you for praying for us. Please continue, don't back down, we need all of you!
Friday, August 1, 2014
Happy 2 Year Anniversary
Wow! How time flies when you finish homeschooling a 5 year old and Summer time hits! I cannot believe that it's been since April that I last wrote to all of you. We have definitely had one wild and crazy summer! Traveling, some time home, then traveling some more, then some more time home and then traveling again next week! I even had the incredible opportunity to fly out to California, on my own, to visit my best friend. It was a huge mountain physically and spiritually that God allowed me to move!
To get to the real point of this blog, it's the 2 year anniversary of me being off of ms medications! Praise God! I will forever mark this day as the day God healed me of ms. I have to write to give all the glory to God and remind all of you, if you need reminding, that He is a faithful Healer.
He is also faithful to make us more like Him every day if we are faithful to die to ourselves and allow this process to happen. And that, my friends, is something I praise Him for everyday, but also the hardest part of this process by far.
You see, even though I don't doubt that God has healed me from ms, for the last two years, I have still and am still fighting off symptoms that try to tell me otherwise. I have to be real with you, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't shed tears whether they be joyful or out of frustration. I wonder sometimes if the tears of frustration will ever leave me.
Then I realize, that with every tear of frustration, God replaces it with a promise from His Word that in turn produces perseverance, endurance, death to myself and more glory for Him because I am submitting and becoming more like Him.
Even now as I type, I am waiting on my neurologist, whom I haven't had to call in 2 years, to prescribe a round of steroids for me because of a neurological issue that I have been fighting for over a month now. You might be thinking, " Well you said you were healed." Well, I am! I still believe that ms is not in operation, but ms left some damage that only God can reverse and that damage has been hanging over me. I wish I could say it was all gone. And I only tell you it's not so that if you are walking through something and God hasn't taken all the pain and suffering away, you can still hang onto whatever He has promised you and have the knowledge and faith that He has healed you from WHATEVER you may be walking through. It doesn't have to be physical. It can be spiritual, emotional or physical.
The only thing that keeps me afloat everyday, when I say everyday, I mean everyday, is the Word of God.
Isaiah 40:31, " But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles,they shall run and not be weary,they shall walk and not faint."
Things I am really thankful for as I am continuing to walk this road is that I no longer doubt God's promises. I trust Him and His Word with all of my heart no matter what my body feels. Also conquering, for the most part, fear and anxiety when something does arise. I can honestly tell you that being anxious is just a major waste of energy and time! If God is God, well...you see.
I am in the process of learning what authority God has given to me here on this earth. I am also still and will always be in the process of dying to myself. "Take up your cross daily and follow Me." (Luke 9:23)
So, HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! I celebrate Him and all He is doing. I celebrate who He is making me to be. I celebrate my sweet Jesus Christ, who sacrificed Himself to save me and that deserves all my focus, my attention and my life!
Here's to another year of complete restoration and freedom!
He is also faithful to make us more like Him every day if we are faithful to die to ourselves and allow this process to happen. And that, my friends, is something I praise Him for everyday, but also the hardest part of this process by far.
You see, even though I don't doubt that God has healed me from ms, for the last two years, I have still and am still fighting off symptoms that try to tell me otherwise. I have to be real with you, there isn't a day that goes by that I don't shed tears whether they be joyful or out of frustration. I wonder sometimes if the tears of frustration will ever leave me.
Then I realize, that with every tear of frustration, God replaces it with a promise from His Word that in turn produces perseverance, endurance, death to myself and more glory for Him because I am submitting and becoming more like Him.
Even now as I type, I am waiting on my neurologist, whom I haven't had to call in 2 years, to prescribe a round of steroids for me because of a neurological issue that I have been fighting for over a month now. You might be thinking, " Well you said you were healed." Well, I am! I still believe that ms is not in operation, but ms left some damage that only God can reverse and that damage has been hanging over me. I wish I could say it was all gone. And I only tell you it's not so that if you are walking through something and God hasn't taken all the pain and suffering away, you can still hang onto whatever He has promised you and have the knowledge and faith that He has healed you from WHATEVER you may be walking through. It doesn't have to be physical. It can be spiritual, emotional or physical.
The only thing that keeps me afloat everyday, when I say everyday, I mean everyday, is the Word of God.
Isaiah 40:31, " But those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles,they shall run and not be weary,they shall walk and not faint."
Things I am really thankful for as I am continuing to walk this road is that I no longer doubt God's promises. I trust Him and His Word with all of my heart no matter what my body feels. Also conquering, for the most part, fear and anxiety when something does arise. I can honestly tell you that being anxious is just a major waste of energy and time! If God is God, well...you see.
I am in the process of learning what authority God has given to me here on this earth. I am also still and will always be in the process of dying to myself. "Take up your cross daily and follow Me." (Luke 9:23)
So, HAPPY 2 YEAR ANNIVERSARY! I celebrate Him and all He is doing. I celebrate who He is making me to be. I celebrate my sweet Jesus Christ, who sacrificed Himself to save me and that deserves all my focus, my attention and my life!
Here's to another year of complete restoration and freedom!
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
MIRACULOUS UPDATE!!!
Hey everybody!!! So I have good news and great news!!! As you all know 4 weeks ago I started physical therapy for vertigo. We discovered it started 6 years ago, after I had our sweet Parker and we just recently discovered that it is primarily an inner ear issue. Enough background on that.
GOOD NEWS, after just 4 weeks of therapy (keep in mind this process of recovery usually takes 6 to 12 weeks) I have the papers to prove that even though I don't feel completely normal yet, according to all the tests I am completely normal and the therapy is working!!! I have been able to tell in my everyday activity, but have still been symptomatic some weeks, like this week for instance and yet I still aced all the tests!
Here is a picture of the very first assessment I had 4 weeks ago. I realize you can't see all the numbers, but just look at the colors, green(good:) and red(bad:(), I failed two of the assessment tests that day and was putting all of my weight in my toes, which apparently is not centered, who would of thought;)
GREAT NEWS, I was told today, that just after 4 weeks of going once a week to my physical therapist and doing my homework everyday I no longer have to go back to the balance center!!! Now you have to grasp this with Chad and I. We have been praying that this process would be a short one because it's not cheap to walk into that place every week even with insurance. We have been praying that the enemy would not be allowed to rob our finances in this area and that we would only have to pay what was necessary. HUGE answer to prayer.
I was able to get a lot of my long term questions answered today as well. Like driving, short distance, long distance, swimming, flying, singing again. My pt instructor told me that just like these exercises I have been doing everyday, as long as I feel safe, to start doing all of these things again at a minimum pushing myself to the brink and then seeing how I regain. This will start to re-calibrate me in these areas just like the other exercises have helped me in my everyday activity.
Although we are still on a process, this is a major answer to our prayers as we are seeing quick results and are continuing to believe that 4 weeks from now things will have dramatically improved! God is so good and He showed off for us today. I prayed from at the beginning of this process that I would only have to go into therapy for 6 weeks and God said let me show off and do it in 4 LOL! Love Him!
Do I still have stuff to overcome, um, YES! But I am celebrating this moment, this mountain being shoved out of the way. Now, take a look at today's assessment...do you see any red??? EXACTLY! And my center of gravity is right in the middle! Come on now somebody scream Hallelujah with me!
To conclude, I don't know what normal is anymore, but I am beginning to learn what normal is by God's standards and I praise God for that. God is my Savior first and foremost. He is my Healer, Restorer, Redeemer and Comforter. He has enabled me to do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). As I have leaned on Him and not on my own understanding, He has indeed been directing my path (Proverbs 3:5-8).
So, we keep moving forward, no looking back. As I proclaimed that first day of therapy, this process is the beginning to the end of this issue. I am continuing to stand on that and am seeing the physical manifestation of it.
You can see this in your own life as you continue to trust in Him and stand on His amazing Word. It NEVER returns void.
GOOD NEWS, after just 4 weeks of therapy (keep in mind this process of recovery usually takes 6 to 12 weeks) I have the papers to prove that even though I don't feel completely normal yet, according to all the tests I am completely normal and the therapy is working!!! I have been able to tell in my everyday activity, but have still been symptomatic some weeks, like this week for instance and yet I still aced all the tests!
Here is a picture of the very first assessment I had 4 weeks ago. I realize you can't see all the numbers, but just look at the colors, green(good:) and red(bad:(), I failed two of the assessment tests that day and was putting all of my weight in my toes, which apparently is not centered, who would of thought;)
I was able to get a lot of my long term questions answered today as well. Like driving, short distance, long distance, swimming, flying, singing again. My pt instructor told me that just like these exercises I have been doing everyday, as long as I feel safe, to start doing all of these things again at a minimum pushing myself to the brink and then seeing how I regain. This will start to re-calibrate me in these areas just like the other exercises have helped me in my everyday activity.
Although we are still on a process, this is a major answer to our prayers as we are seeing quick results and are continuing to believe that 4 weeks from now things will have dramatically improved! God is so good and He showed off for us today. I prayed from at the beginning of this process that I would only have to go into therapy for 6 weeks and God said let me show off and do it in 4 LOL! Love Him!
Do I still have stuff to overcome, um, YES! But I am celebrating this moment, this mountain being shoved out of the way. Now, take a look at today's assessment...do you see any red??? EXACTLY! And my center of gravity is right in the middle! Come on now somebody scream Hallelujah with me!
To conclude, I don't know what normal is anymore, but I am beginning to learn what normal is by God's standards and I praise God for that. God is my Savior first and foremost. He is my Healer, Restorer, Redeemer and Comforter. He has enabled me to do all things through Him who gives me strength (Philippians 4:13). As I have leaned on Him and not on my own understanding, He has indeed been directing my path (Proverbs 3:5-8).
So, we keep moving forward, no looking back. As I proclaimed that first day of therapy, this process is the beginning to the end of this issue. I am continuing to stand on that and am seeing the physical manifestation of it.
You can see this in your own life as you continue to trust in Him and stand on His amazing Word. It NEVER returns void.
Monday, April 7, 2014
Being Re-Made
2 Corinthians 5:17, "Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!"
It's been a while since my last post! Purposely though. The Holy Spirit has had me tucked away and when I say tucked away, I mean tucked away. It's been awesome.
To get to the point of my post today, as all of you know, because I have talked about it many times, I am on a journey of restoration, but in order to be completely restored there is this thing called dying to oneself:).
I had the privilege of attending the Kari Jobe concert this past Friday night. A belated birthday gift from my mom(thanks mom:). As I was sitting and soaking in all that was going on I had yet another revelation from the Holy Spirit. I was watching this amazing worship leader walking in her calling, looking extremely fulfilled and confident in who she was. Amazing. I realized, I used to be so much like that, in many areas of my life. Then I realized, the key words were, USED TO BE.
I have been on a journey that has afforded me the opportunity to choose to die to myself and everything about myself in order to be in the center of God's perfect will. To be honest, some days, it doesn't feel like a choice, it feels like a necessity!
The revelation I had was that I am so dead to who I once was, that I don't even know who I am anymore! Now you might read that and think, that's horrible!!! Mandy is having an identity crisis!!! LOL! Well, actually, I am, but it's God induced not Mandy induced, therefore a VERY good thing! What God revealed to me on Friday, is that I am being re-made. I am being made a new creation. I have finally gotten to that place where I have seriously laid down EVERYTHING that I used to be and am just trying to walk by the Spirit of God and trust that He is guiding me. God spoke to me so clearly and said that He can now make me new, He can re-make me and show me who I really am for such a time as this. He hasn't truly been able to do this in me until now because there was still me in the way!
There are 3 things that I know for sure I am right now and these are the 3 things that have God's favor, peace and grace on them:
1. I'm His
2. I'm Chad's wife
3. I'm a mom to Parker and Sam
In all 3 of those areas, God has allowed me to be healthy and strong and He keeps moving me forward to be everything that I can be in those areas. Other than that, I don't know who I am. I have functioned in many different roles in this life of mine, but right now these 3 areas are where contentment, peace and favor are.
Do I have dreams, desires and goals? Well, yes, but I'm doing my very best to submit every dream, every desire and every goal to Him so that He can say, yes this is apart of the new creation I am making you into.
Galations 2:20, "I was put to death on the cross with Christ, and I do not live anymore—it is Christ who lives in me. I still live in my body, but I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself to save me."
This verse, well, it just says it all. I am happily being re-made. Really, happily. Inside and out, being re-made. Physically(side note, two weeks into physical therapy for the vertigo, it's going well, thank you to all of you who have been praying;), spiritually and emotionally I am okay with not knowing who I am until God tells me. It's kind of exciting actually:) If you look at this way, God is giving me another chance to be all that I can be for Him. Which means, I will hopefully, hit the target! I want to advance His Kingdom more than anything and I just know I can't do it unless I am re-made into what He wants me to be.
Good stuff...thank You Jesus.
It's been a while since my last post! Purposely though. The Holy Spirit has had me tucked away and when I say tucked away, I mean tucked away. It's been awesome.
To get to the point of my post today, as all of you know, because I have talked about it many times, I am on a journey of restoration, but in order to be completely restored there is this thing called dying to oneself:).
I had the privilege of attending the Kari Jobe concert this past Friday night. A belated birthday gift from my mom(thanks mom:). As I was sitting and soaking in all that was going on I had yet another revelation from the Holy Spirit. I was watching this amazing worship leader walking in her calling, looking extremely fulfilled and confident in who she was. Amazing. I realized, I used to be so much like that, in many areas of my life. Then I realized, the key words were, USED TO BE.
I have been on a journey that has afforded me the opportunity to choose to die to myself and everything about myself in order to be in the center of God's perfect will. To be honest, some days, it doesn't feel like a choice, it feels like a necessity!
The revelation I had was that I am so dead to who I once was, that I don't even know who I am anymore! Now you might read that and think, that's horrible!!! Mandy is having an identity crisis!!! LOL! Well, actually, I am, but it's God induced not Mandy induced, therefore a VERY good thing! What God revealed to me on Friday, is that I am being re-made. I am being made a new creation. I have finally gotten to that place where I have seriously laid down EVERYTHING that I used to be and am just trying to walk by the Spirit of God and trust that He is guiding me. God spoke to me so clearly and said that He can now make me new, He can re-make me and show me who I really am for such a time as this. He hasn't truly been able to do this in me until now because there was still me in the way!
There are 3 things that I know for sure I am right now and these are the 3 things that have God's favor, peace and grace on them:
1. I'm His
2. I'm Chad's wife
3. I'm a mom to Parker and Sam
In all 3 of those areas, God has allowed me to be healthy and strong and He keeps moving me forward to be everything that I can be in those areas. Other than that, I don't know who I am. I have functioned in many different roles in this life of mine, but right now these 3 areas are where contentment, peace and favor are.
Do I have dreams, desires and goals? Well, yes, but I'm doing my very best to submit every dream, every desire and every goal to Him so that He can say, yes this is apart of the new creation I am making you into.
Galations 2:20, "I was put to death on the cross with Christ, and I do not live anymore—it is Christ who lives in me. I still live in my body, but I live by faith in the Son of God who loved me and gave himself to save me."
This verse, well, it just says it all. I am happily being re-made. Really, happily. Inside and out, being re-made. Physically(side note, two weeks into physical therapy for the vertigo, it's going well, thank you to all of you who have been praying;), spiritually and emotionally I am okay with not knowing who I am until God tells me. It's kind of exciting actually:) If you look at this way, God is giving me another chance to be all that I can be for Him. Which means, I will hopefully, hit the target! I want to advance His Kingdom more than anything and I just know I can't do it unless I am re-made into what He wants me to be.
Good stuff...thank You Jesus.
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