Escape

Have any of you seen the movie "Finding Nemo" ? Well if not, it's a sweet movie about a daddy clown fish searching for his son the clown fish who gets captured by scuba divers. Anyway, the dad clown fish meets lots of interesting creatures along his journey. One of those creatures is a lovable, beautiful color of blue and yellow, forgetful (as in can't remember a thing) fish named Dory. In one part of the movie they are being chased by sharks and they wind up in some kind of enclosed place, I think a submarine or something. Anyway, Dory sees a door and above the door it says the word escape. Being Dory she starts trying to read it and instead of pronouncing it the right way, at first, she says, " e-scop-a", she says it over and over again, hilarious, then finally realizes that it says escape and they get out of their sticky situation.

So now that I have wasted your time with a silly story, let me tell you why this silly story is in my head this morning. Those of us walking through anything and I mean anything are always looking for an escape from our situation. We search for ways to get out and get out fast! Fortunately, a lot of us turn to God and His Word. Unfortunately, since we have this human nature that is so untamed, we turn to other things to. It can be as innocent as a good tv show or movie or something worse (by our standards) like drugs, alcohol or whatever you can imagine that this world would throw our way to distract us from the battle at hand so that we can be thrown off guard and therefore end up on the losing side.

Walking through this journey, I have been standing on God's Word and trusting and speaking His promises over my life everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day, pretty much without fail. While I see God working and I am getting better physically each week, I still get to that place where I want that quick escape away from it all. I don't want to be in the battle or the process, I just want to forget and pretend that everything is okay. While I believe it's okay to have some fun in the midst of all the stuff we battle, I think we have to be aware of our motivation for doing so. That's what God convicts me about. He gives us a pretty clear warning in His Word.

Hebrews 2:1-4, " We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received it's just punishment, how shall we ESCAPE if we ignore such a great salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard Him. God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to His will."

It's funny, we think we are escaping by running from the process that God has us in but our only true escape is through Him, saving us. We can't forget what we have heard, God's promises, His Word. We are just masking the pain. It's like taking medicine to cover up symptoms but it's not really taking care of the root issue. When that medicine wears off we are completely aware of the pain once again. While I am not perfect yet in this area, recognizing that my escape is best spent with Him, I am glad that God is continually teaching me how to. In Him there's signs, wonders and various miracles...I'm pretty sure that out weighs the emptiness that I receive every time I run to anything else but Him in those moments where I don't want to fight. Oh this flesh and it's motivations! UGH! I will conquer you!!!

If you are tired and weary, I believe it's okay to have a fun time, just don't neglect God or replace Him with it. He actually takes the pain away, no masking, He has given us our miracle we just have to e-scop-a into Him first!

What is "Normal" anyway?

I have said so many times, " I just want to be normal." Lately that statement comes with many tears and a husband looking at me consoling me with his actions but I know in his mind he's thinking, " I want you to be normal too!" Lol...it's funny, but it's not, well it really is pretty funny. I have said this in the past before I was even dealing with stuff in my body. When I was teenager, I never "fit in". I was always feeling like the misfit because I was beating to a different drum and I just wanted friends and wanted to be normal. There were times I didn't want to keep pressing into God as much as I was. I wanted to come out and be apart of the crowd. That way I wouldn't be such a target. My thought was, I could rest in the crowd, it would be easier. Thank God, He helped me see through that lie!

Here's the world's definition of "Normal" according to dictionary.com: conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

 Wow...conforming to the standard or the common type. So here's the question: What standard are you trying to live up to, what is common type to you? Obviously, I am asking these questions to myself to. 


I figured out the answer to that question a long time ago as a teen and that's why it was really hard, but now I am having to rediscover that standard and common type in regards to my health. How did I find the answer you might ask? You guessed it! The Word of God. It sets the standard and He is our common type, not anything else.What He says, is what goes. What He does, we should follow. There is no higher or better standard than this. This is the definition of normal for a child of God.


Here is God's definition of "Normal": Romans 8:28-31, " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response this? If God is for us, who can be against us?."

Normal is being conformed to the likeness of His Son. That's what He intended from the very beginning of time. If we conform to His likeness than we are like Him which means in every area of our lives our norm is everything He is! All of His promises. It's amazing how this translates to every single area of our lives. If it's health, finances, relationships...you name it. 

The only way to conform to Him is to know Him and we know Him how? Yes...His Word. So even though I have my very weak moments, because I am conforming to Him...His Word says I am strong. 
So let's get with it...the new normal or rather the right normal...I am normal despite what the world tries to put on me. 

Helpless

Aaaand the process continues! God revealed to me another root issue in my life last night. I won't go into detail as to how He revealed that to me but He did. All I will say is that I have been asking God to bring everything to the light so that I can totally be free and He is keeping His end of the bargain. I feel physically and spiritually like He is taking me through the ringer and am feeling full of hope yet exhausted at the same time...it's so weird!

So anyway, the root He revealed to me last night is that in conjunction with the fear and doubt that I have been overcoming, there is this sense of helplessness in me which pretty much fuels the fear and doubt to an even greater degree. I know many of us have been in that place where we realize that we are completely at the mercy of the hand of God and we feel completely HELPLESS. Helpless as in we have no power and sometimes helpless as in we don't see Him helping us. However we know this isn't true, not according to the Word. Thank God, because I need His help every second these days and I know that's why the enemy would have me hang on to this useless thinking.

Romans 8:26-27, " In the same way, the Spirit HELPS us in our weakness. (I could personally stop right here and be just fine, but we will keep going :-) We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

Yep, not only are we not helpless, we have the Spirit of God Himself interceding for us, praying for us...and He is helping us with everything, hmm, even when we doubt that He will. You know, we say we are at the mercy of the hand of God like it's a bad thing...that's a total lie...it's the best place to be...WHEN WE REALLY KNOW HIM. If we don't know Him, we don't trust Him and if we don't trust Him, then we are doubting Him and if we are doubting Him, we feel helpless and afraid.

Here's my declaration for today: Hebrews 13:6, " So we say with confidence, ' The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

I am at the mercy of God's hand, but His hand is loving and faithful to do what He has promised me in His Word. And with that knowledge, I can have great peace. He's not hurting me, He's helping me. I will be chewing on this all day...deliver me Lord from this, be my helper and let this truth sink into me body, soul and spirit.

You WILL Never Guess...

So as I was stretching to do my 5 minute marathon run this morning and I was reading my list of healing scriptures that I read everyday and you WILL never guess what word just kept popping out at me! Okay, I guess I WILL tell you...are you ready? The word WILL kept popping out at me... now I know that you are totally surprised by this, so let me explain :-)

 I am talking about the word WILL as a verb and here's one of the definitions: am (is, are, etc.) determined or sure to. Bear with me because I want you to see this revelation with me! Here's a couple of scriptures to put it into action: 


Romans 8:11, " He who raised Christ from the dead WILL (is determined or sure to) also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you."


Matthew 8: 2, 3, " A man with leprosy came and knelt before Him and said, ' Lord, if you are WILLING ( determined or sure to), you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. ' I am WILLING (determined or sure to), ' He said. ' Be clean!' Immediately he was cured of his leprosy." 


I mean this is amazing...I was going to type every scripture out of the 40 that I read that have the word will in them but there are so many! Here are some of just the scripture references for you if you want to look them up: 


Exodus 15:26; 23:25
Deuteronomy 7:15
Malachi 3:10
Psalm 91:16
Jeremiah 30:17
Matthew 18:18 + 19
Mark 11: 22, 23 + 24; 16: 17 + 18
Isaiah 43:25 + 26
James 5: 14 + 15


Just one more, it's so good I have to type it out! Nahum 1:9, " Affliction WILL (is sure to) not rise up a second time." It's so powerful when we understand what God's Word is saying, isn't it? 


I think this is interesting, one of the other words that will is related to is the word promise...pretty cool if you ask me. There is so much to understand and uncover in the Word of God and it just really amazes me when God speaks to me like this. 


God's Word and revelation to me is that He WILL (is determined and sure to) heal me. No if, ands or buts...my healing has already been determined and is sure to happen. This fuels my hope and my grace for this process. Thank You so much Jesus!

"I'm all alone, there's no one here, beside me"

You've heard that song, right??? LOL! I have worship music playing right now and that song still popped into my head in regards to this post today! This morning is the first morning of me being alone with my boys, nobody else here to help for a little while yet. Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous at first, but then I remembered...Jesus...He knew this morning would come. He is showing me right now that He has matured me, instead of getting worried, I went straight to His Word and got the peace that passes all understanding! God challenged me with this Word this morning:


Philippians 3:13-16, " Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."

Nice...thanks for the gentle slap in the face! In order to press forward into all that God has for me, I have to forget what's happened over the last couple of months, really as I am writing this, the last 7 years. Oh and then for just a little extra sting, Paul says, those of us who are mature should see this. So funny...I guess I'm not that mature yet...but I'm closer!

I love the last line too, " Only let us live up to what we have already attained." That takes a little bit of the sting away, kind of :-)...I have attained a lot over these last couple of months and I need to live up to that. With all the promises that God has put in front of me and all the ones He has fulfilled, it should be easy, yet this flesh gets in the way, still, but at least now my flesh knows whose boss!

So even though I have my reinforcements coming soon, I have the best Enforcer sitting right with me. I am gonna press forward and trust Him and know that He orders my EVERY step. It's gonna be a great day...

Breaking Through the Flesh

I admit I feel a little like what Audry Assad says in her song " Breaking Through" this morning. Here are some of the lyrics:

I am a blind man trying to find the way
A deaf man with my ear to the ground
Just listening for what You say

I've got no voice to sing the songs
Written by the prophets on the subway walls
The kingdom is a golden table and we are beggars all

Are these just some words that I say aloud?
Is this just the sun breaking through the clouds?
Oh, I know it's more and I know somehow that
Heaven is breaking through
And it's You, it's You, it's You, it's You, You

I've wandered deserts looking for a sign
A wild flower in a valley low
Just reaching for the light

I have no place to lay my head, no sanctuary of my own
The kingdom waits with open arms
For pilgrims headed home

(I am a blind man trying to find the way)
I'm looking for
(I am a blind man trying to find the way)
Heaven is breaking, heaven is breaking
(I am a blind man trying to find the way)
Heaven is breaking through

Heaven is breaking, heaven is breaking
(I am a blind man trying to find the way)
Heaven is breaking through
Oh, heaven is breaking, heaven is breaking
(I am a blind man trying to find the way)
Heaven is breaking through

Heaven is breaking, heaven is breaking
(I am a blind man trying to find the way)
Heaven is breaking through
And it's You, it's You, it's You, it's You, yeah
It's You, it's You, it's You, You

I am a blind man trying to find the way

To break it down, I have really been dwelling on this subject of freedom completely in my flesh. I know that God has had me on this journey of setting me free in my mind and in my spirit and my thinking has been that my flesh has to follow suite. It has to align itself with what God says in the spirit, which is freedom, healing the whole gamut. I had concluded that this has not happened because God is keeping me to Himself to prepare me for what's ahead. What He is calling me to do after this is all said and done. But then I question, am I really doing everything I'm supposed to do to allow my flesh to really be free. Is there something in my flesh that I need to be delivered from? My spirit is freer, but is my flesh not free because there is deliverance that needs to happen that I am just not aware or knowledgeable about? I'm really praying about this. 

My new plea to God everyday is, "Jesus, please set my flesh free." I love God's Word because it always breaks through my confusion. Ephesians 6:12, " For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms." I have been wondering, okay, is the battle for my flesh just a consequence of living in this world or is it truly something spiritual that I need to be delivered from. Well, the Word says, it's not flesh and blood that we battle, He sent His son to set us free from that. So it is spiritual, there is something that has taken a hold of my flesh that is causing this physical battle and I need Jesus to reveal the root and set me completely free. 

I am praying that God will continue to reveal all the roots in my life that could be causing this I am always asking God how did it root itself in me and will He continue to give me the openness to be able to grab hold of whatever He reveals. Not only do I want to be free, I NEED to be.

The Truth About Dying

The other day I had this thought that just will not leave me, so I figured I should blog about it so that it will stop whirling around in my head! I can't really remember where this thought originated from except for this whole theme of dying to myself etc. Anyway, I digress ;-)

I am ashamed to say that I have never been the best at being very evangelistic. I'm working on that. I am not an intentional evangelist anyway. I've reached a lot of people just by being relational, but not just by out right telling people how it is, unless it's just absolutely necessary in that moment, you know what I'm saying.

As I have been learning to die gracefully to myself I had the thought that I realize why there are so many lost and unchurched people in this world. A lot of people are just afraid to lose their lives. They are fearful of dying physically already and then they start learning about Jesus, who requires them to lay down their lives while walking the earth to serve Him and it just doesn't seem like the most appealing way to live, right? No wonder people run from God. The truth is that Jesus does require that we die to ourselves in order to serve His greater purpose. But what most people don't get far enough to know is the benefits of laying down their lives for such an amazing God.

There are countless scriptures that show us how rewarding taking up our cross daily can be but the one that is really ministering to me this morning is one that was passed along to me by sister-in-law (thanks sis, perfect timing ;-)

Philippians 3:10-11 (Amplified version), " [For my determined purpose is] that I may know Him [that I may progressively become more deeply and intimately acquainted with Him, perceiving and recognizing and understanding the wonders of His Person more strongly and more clearly], and that I may in that same way come to know the power outflowing from His resurrection [which it exerts over believers], and that I may so share His sufferings as to be continually transformed [in spirit into His likeness even] to His death, [in the hope], that if possible I may attain to the [spiritual and moral] resurrection [that lifts me] out from among the dead [even while in the body]."

When we die to ourselves, we are intentionally saying, " I want to know you God more than life itself." When we do that, yes, we may share in His suffering but we also get to share in His resurrection, EVEN WHILE IN THE BODY!  Sign me up! There are so many benefits to laying down our lives for God and the one that my focus is on is obviously my body being resurrected while still on this earth. Now I am not dying to myself just so I can take advantage of His goodness, I am learning to die to myself because that's what He wants me to do. He keeps revealing His promises to me as I do this.

I told a friend the other day, while we were talking about this subject of God wanting us to die to ourselves, that I have every reason walking through what I have been walking through to totally deny God and to not trust Him at all. But all I can do, as I choose to die to myself, is love Him more and trust Him more than I ever have because of all the promises and rewards that come from just letting Him be God. He is showing Himself to me everyday and I have more life and joy than ever before in my relationship with Him. My cup runneth over!!!

I'll leave you with this today to meditate on...Psalm 18:28-30, " You, O Lord, keep my lamp burning; my God turns my darkness into light. With your help I can advance against a troop; with my God I can scale a wall. As for God, His way is perfect; the Word of the Lord is flawless. He is a shield for all who take refuge in Him."

We have to surrender to Him and die to ourselves and He will be there for us and we can live the most rewarding life. Every promise is ours and unlike the promises the world throws around, His are true and never return void. I am living proof of this, just like so many of you. I'd say that's worth dying for.