Bittersweet

So it's been a busy week! I haven't had a chance to jump on here and update everyone on my recent set of tests. It was determined that my colon is great and that I, after 7 years of taking acid reflux medicine, do not actually have acid reflux disease. Praise God! It really is great news but it's bittersweet because we are still in the process. We have more questions because why does that medicine continue to help me when the other stuff doesn't? Anyway. We have a follow up appointment this Friday to ask more questions and along with that I am getting some blood drawn for something very interesting that I need all of your prayers for.

Talking with my neurology nurse it was determined that they want to test me for a marker that determines whether or not there is a different thing going on in my body other than MS. It's called NMO (Neuromyelitis Optica). This mainly affects the eyes and the spinal cord and the attacks are stronger and more severe. Sounds kind of familiar. Let me first state, that I am not happy about being tested for another disease nor am I hopeful that they will find anything because I just want God to do it. But if this marker is there it could explain a lot of things to us. Like why the medications I am on don't seem to be working as NMO is treated completely different. Why I am stuck where I am physically, very slowly climbing up but some things just don't seem to be getting much better. Bittersweet.

Bittersweet, but absolutely not depressing because I know, no matter what, that God is Sovereign and He is good. Job 42:2, " I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted." No matter what we continue to uncover God's hands are all over it working it out. As I resist the enemy, he has to flee. Proverbs 21:30, " There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord." You see, we can search all we want to and try and gain wisdom and insight from everyone, but no plan can succeed against the Lord. Even the one we think might be the right one. We know the enemies plans can't succeed, but what about the ones we believe that God is telling us, but maybe it's just our plan. When we try to control things we become an enemy to ourselves and God.

I don't know the outcome of all of this. It seems as though we keep hitting dead ends but we are not according to God's Word. He is in control and I trust Him because I know Him. God keeps maturing me and teaching me. It's just not time yet for me to come out of hiding and that's okay. He is teaching me to die to myself. You know, instead of being jealous of a situation that is recently in progress that is a complete miracle. I was able to thank God for it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but those of you who are experiencing adversity and you see someone else get their miracle while you are still suffering it's hard to be mature about it with God. That sounds bad, I always thank God when He works in people's lives, but He has removed that secret bitterness in my heart. It's not bittersweet anymore to thank Him...it's just sweet :-)

Moving forward!