I have been spending a lot of time reading about Paul lately. And I promise you, it seems like he had 9 lives! I know that's because God was so faithful to him in his time on this earth. Paul suffered A LOT! I mean it's almost ridiculous some of the stuff he went through. It makes what I am going through seem like an ant bite, LOL! In his words in 2 Corinthians 11, he says, " I worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again." He was beat 5 times with whips, beaten with rods and he was stoned. He was shipwrecked multiple times and pretty much everyone was out to get him, even those closest to him. He had a lot of sleepless and cold nights. Suffering...I mean really.
After all this, Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:28, " Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches." Come on! Seriously Paul? Could you be anymore unselfish??? Sheesh...I pray I can obtain and walk in that kind of unselfishness.
It's really easy, when we are suffering, to seek God and cry out for Him to deliver us from it all for our own benefit or relief. I have done it and at times am still doing it. But God has been shifting my focus from crying out for me to crying out for the ultimate goal that He has in mind in the mist of this suffering. Paul knew who He was living for, a faithful God who had something in store that was much bigger than his suffering. So Paul kept pressing through. He never lost sight of how big God is. Paul didn't have 9 lives, he had a spirit, mind, soul and body that was completely submitted to our faithful God. This is why he didn't even count his suffering as anything compared to knowing Christ. He saw the bigger picture and God sustained Him.
When we are suffering, we are in survival mode, which means all we can do is think about ourselves. Somehow we have to learn how to make God and His vision for our lives and the lives of others bigger than our survival mode. What I am seeing happen in my own life, is that the more I stay in the Word and apply it to my everyday life and situation, I can see more clearly. I can hear His voice more clearly and know that He is indeed at work and has a really big, amazing plan and I GET to be apart of it. It keeps me pressing through. And when my eyes are fixed on this, God's grace is always there to sustain me.
Jesus was obviously the most unselfish person to walk the earth. Paul knew that about Him and made a decision to follow in His footsteps. It doesn't look or seem rewarding or fun when you read about them. I mean, they both completely laid down their lives for the lives of others because they knew it wouldn't be in vain. Our suffering isn't either, we just have to be unselfish enough to see it. I'm gonna keep working on this because in my heart of hearts, my very core, I want what God wants more than what I want. I do...it's hard...but I do.
Don't forget, our lives our not our own. Ouch, just hurts to type that! Forgive me Jesus for my selfishness. Help me to keep pressing forward and keep the motivation of my heart right before You.
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