Love and Letting Go

Psalm 119:41-43, " May Your unfailing love come to me, O Lord, Your salvation according to Your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in Your word. Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in Your laws."

I'm not specifically sure who the person who wrote this was talking about when he talks about "the one who taunts me" but,  I know for me that the one who taunts me is the enemy. Everyday, in any way he can. This particular psalmist(scholars believe that the true author of this passage was King David or his words written by other men) was pretty much saying, " God if You will have mercy on me and show me how much you love me, THEN, I will have something real to throw back at my enemy." He goes on to say (in my perspective), " I am relying on Your Word so please don't let it return void because my hope is in the fact that it will do it's job and quiet the one who taunts me."

I have been hiding God's Word in my heart daily. I use the Word that's hidden in my heart a lot to answer the enemy. Some days the only answer I have for him is the name of Jesus. The reason I have these answers in me is because God's unfailing love has come to me, He saved me and saves me daily. I fight doubt that His Word will not return void in my life. I don't know what His ultimate plan is except for the promises that He has laid out before me. Those are the only things that I have to cling to. I'm pretty sure that's what this writer was saying. Don't take Your Word from me God, I trust it, it's my only hope. It's true.

Today, I realize God's unfailing love in the fact that I have His Word. That in His amazing love and mercy He has given me something to answer the one who taunts me. He has put the weapons that I need right in front of me, I just have to wield them.

We all have to realize that this thing we have with God has to be an every day, every moment thing. Sounds intense, but if we are going to overcome and have victory in our lives, well...being in a battle is intense, there's just no way around that. We have to be driven to hold on to Him above all else. Driven to hide His promises in our hearts. I cry now, like I do a lot lately, because I feel broken into a million pieces, completely exposed and completely relying on the mercy and sovereignty of God to lead and guide me where only He can. I'd just like to get there with all of my limbs and organs intact!  It's probably the first time in my 25 years of walking with God that I know that I have absolutely no control. The more I know Him, the more I'm perfectly content with this fact.

I know that He is loving me without fail. The reason I know this is because I wouldn't be this broken, this exposed if He wasn't. He loves me so much that He is wooing( I love this word :-) me to see Him so that I can have everything He has promised. It's awesome, it's painful, but the most beautiful process I have ever walked through in my journey with Him.

Those of us who have kids, when disciplining them we say, "I'm trying to protect you, or help you because I love you." I'm just going to let go and let Him love me...that's the only way to have His full protection and the only way I will ever learn. It feels good to let go.