Monk Days

If you have never seen the show Monk, it's about a ex-homicide detective who is, how should I say this, well let's just say he has a lot of issues. He would clinically be described as severe obsessive-compulsive disorder with multiple phobias. I know it sounds really bad right? It's actually one of the most hilarious shows you will ever watch. Actually if you need to feel normal, you should watch this show and you won't think what you are going through is quite so bad. His wife was murdered, he was fired from the police force because he regressed so bad and is now contracted with them to help solve cases. Of course, being a tv show, he is put in the craziest of situations that don't ever coincide with his condition, there you go, good comedy! His character produces a lot of compassion in you!

Last night Chad and I were watching a couple of episodes and in one of them, Monk gets acid of some kind thrown in his eyes so he goes blind for the entirety of the episode and he proceeds to go through all the stages of grief. He is totally depressed, hopeless, doesn't want to do anything and then totally flips to this "out of sight, out of mind" thinking so he feels liberated by the blindness and starts doing his job again. But in the midst of his self-pity, I mean self-pity at it's highest lol, he says something to his assistant aka nurse after a report from the eye doc. His assistant tells him to not give up hope. And I can barely type this sentence without wanting to completely crack up. Monk says (in a growling, angry, self-pity voice), " I hate hopes guts."

Hahahahahahahaha!!!! I know this sounds awful! But it just made me laugh so hard because, even though I have never worded it that way, I have certainly felt that way at times! And don't judge me, so have you if you are walking through any kind of situation that has completely made you feel hopeless. When people tell you, don't give up hope, and you are like are you going through what I am going through, I don't think so!

I say all this to say, that I am not hopeless...I am hopeful! Since we last spoke, I am in week 2 of weaning off a very strong medication. I am feeling some things, and not feeling some things. I am in a completely surrendered, at the hand of God time right now. Just hanging on and trusting.

Proverbs 13:12, " Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." So good thing I am not hopeless right?! We only lose hope when we lose sight of God and allow our minds to be hostile towards God and His Word.


Romans 8: 6-8, " The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace, THE SINFUL MIND IS HOSTILE TO GOD. It does not SUBMIT to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God."  This scripture stuck out to me for the first time while reading through Romans 8 and I thought to myself, wow, my mind, if not submitted to God, is sinful, therefore hostile to Him. I can't please Him this way. As I have been intentionally, daily submitting myself to the Holy Spirit, He is opening my eyes to even more things that He is stripping me of. Submitting to the Holy Spirit, whom Jesus left to be our Helper on a daily basis is changing my life, my mind, my soul and my spirit. He is re-creating me, a little scary, yes, but way more exciting than scary!

I dare you to submit wholly and completely to the Holy Spirit and see what happens. We are here for His good pleasure, but He is so good that He gives us the choice as to whether we want to please Him...go figure...that is a loving and good God. But we have got to be willing to conform to the real image of Jesus if we are going to advance His Kingdom on the earth.

There are a few other truths that are on my heart but alas they will have to wait until tomorrow, so see you then ;-)