I've given up

Starting over the weekend, really after my last post, I have given up! Before you go and call someone to admit me to rehab for the insane, let me explain. The Holy Spirit and I have really been getting to know one another a lot better. I have been giving up everything in me and laying it before Him. I have completely submitted myself to Him by laying down my past, my present and my future. All my desires and dreams...and I have asked Him to replace it all with what He wants. I have asked Him to wipe my slate clean and just allow me to sit before Him until He is ready to replace everything in me.

I know this is part of the dying process for me and I am okay with this. He finally has broken me enough where I really don't want anything else but what He wants. Isn't that what His Word really says? Psalm 37:4, " Delight yourself in the Lord and HE WILL GIVE you the desires of your heart."  This has always been one of my favorite scriptures because, throughout my life, as I have submitted to God in areas, He always gives me the desires of my heart. In other words, because I am submitted to Him, we become one and my desires are no different from His.

The hard part about this is just submitting to that. Our desires don't look like His sometimes. In my journey right now, that's the case. I don't know what He has planned. But I am determined to become completely one with Him so that I can move forward with His plan and not mine. I have been charged by Him to be still and know that He is God (Psalm 46:10). I am not to commit to anything but Him. Do you know how hard that's been in the past for me? Now, I don't even have the energy to fight it!

I am so desperate for the Holy Spirit to be alive and active in my life that I am willing to die to it all. Not my will but His right? His good pleasure, not mine? Jesus asked for that cup to removed but God had a bigger purpose. Paul asked for the thorn in his flesh to be removed but God had a bigger purpose. His purpose. Honestly, I hope that I don't sound depressed by this. I really don't have any emotion in this, just trusting Him to keep leading me into His purpose and plans to a greater degree than I ever have. Just as Jesus prayed, " On earth as it is in Heaven...". I want on earth as it is in Heaven and I can't have that unless the Holy Spirit overtakes everything in my life. It's good...He's good.