Yes, today marks a year of walking through this intense physical battle. It was this day a year ago that my first trip to the ER was taken and this whole crazy journey began. I don't really want to make an anniversary out of this day but it's a little bittersweet for me and I'll tell you why.
To be completely honest, I don't feel like I am any better off physically. We've made some small steps here and there. Discovered some things here and there but we are still masking everything and really don't have any clue how to get my body back to where it was 8 years ago or just a year ago. Here's the bittersweet part (you knew it was coming from this girl whose cup is half full, most of the time ;-).
Where God has brought myself and Chad throughout this year spiritually is leagues beyond where we have been! A lot has changed in that area of our lives thus the bittersweet feeling. Do I wish we could go about this growth a different way? Um...what do you think? Nevertheless, we are here and what God has done in us and through us this year is extremely humbling and amazing.
You've heard me say this before, I wouldn't trade it for the world. I'm glad to be where we are spiritually and I know that breakthrough is coming in the physical too.
We had another mri done on Thursday morning of the rest of my neck down my spine. We did not get the results before the weekend hit but we are very much at peace waiting and knowing that God is ordering our steps. We don't know what to expect and we really aren't worried about it. We just know that was the first step the Holy Spirit quickened us to take. So we obeyed!
Galatians 5:25, " Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit." I love that, "keep in step with the spirit". That means step for step, stride for stride, jump for jump. A common phrase that has been coming from our lips as we pray is, " Please don't let us get ahead of you God or jump ahead of you God despite what my body is doing or feeling." This, I know, is the Holy Spirit in both Chad and I to be able to pray those words and really mean it.
We thank God continually for His strength and His grace. We live our lives in step with a living and active God, a relational, every moment of the day God. We weren't doing that a year ago this day, to this extent. Honestly, we didn't have the faith to until now...what a process. Instead of feeling the shame of that, I feel great gratitude that we are closer to Him now and all the truth He is teaching us is alive and working in us to perform a good work. Did you hear that? A GOOD WORK (Philippians 1:6).
That's right, we consider it a good work, even on the days when I FEEL like it is not so good! I have no idea when this work will be complete, if ever, but I have peace knowing that God is leading it and because of my covenant with Him and the price He paid for me, I don't have to do anything to earn His unconditional love for me.
So, to conclude, I have no idea what's going on or what God has in store LOL! Just taking it one day at a time...
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