I have some small victories, or rather large in my mind, to share. I got to go to church yesterday again! My mom drove us and Parker and I stayed and Sam went back to her house so that I could really attend church and soak it all in. It was awesome! Every song was about God's love, hilarious and the message was amazing too, I'll get into that later :-) Secondly, I ran 5 minutes on my elliptical this morning and I'm still breathing, lol! I know, some of you are like what 5 minutes??? Well for a girl who ran 3 miles 6 days a week for two years and hasn't done anything since November of last year...5 minutes is a marathon!
I didn't get to blog yesterday because of church and other stuff! But I was in the Word before church and got something from God that totally spoke to me and then it went along with something my pastor said in his message yesterday. Love how God talks to me and ties it all together.
In a previous post I spoke about Hezekiah and his illnesses. How God spoke through Isaiah and told him to tell Hezekiah that He has heard his cry and that He was going to heal him. (2 Kings 20) God sent me back to that story but in Isaiah 38:17, " Surely it was for my benefit that I suffered such anguish. IN YOUR LOVE you kept me from the pit of destruction; you have put all my sins behind your back." I didn't see this before now, but along this whole theme of God really showing me His love and me really actually seeing it in it's fullness. I thought this was really interesting. " In Your love, you kept me from destruction." It's no wonder the enemy wants to keep us from really understanding and knowing God's love for us. It's so powerful it can keep us from destruction. Amazing.
We are doing a series in our church right now called " Save Your Household, Preparing for the storms ahead". Our pastor is really passionate about this subject. At one point in the message he started talking about the enemy being like a lion. One way that lions hunt is in a pride. A few of them will go on one side of the prey and then one lioness or lion will go on the other side. That main hunter will roar and scare the prey right into an ambush where the rest of the lions are waiting to devour that prey.
1 Peter 5:8-9, " Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that your brothers throughout the world are undergoing the same kind of sufferings."
Our pastor said (and I paraphrase:-), " The enemy is roaring as loud as he can to scare you into to running right into the very thing that will devour you." Or destroy you. It could be anything depending on what your journey is right now. We have to be aware of this. The roar can't be louder than the loving voice of God guiding us in the right direction and leading us into all truth.
That really speaks to me right now. I am embracing God's love and the enemy is behind me trying to roar loud enough to send me running right back into fear and doubt so that it can completely devour me. I know this is getting long, but one more scripture! You will want to read this!
Isaiah 38:18-20, " For the grave cannot praise You, death cannot sing Your praise; those who go down to the pit cannot hope for Your faithfulness. The living, the living - they praise you, as I am doing today; fathers tell their children about Your faithfulness. The Lord will save me, and we will sing with stringed instruments all the days of our lives in the temple of the Lord."
The point is, we can't do anything for God if we let the enemy devour us and send us to the grave! But the living, the living...they are the ones who praise You. We have to keep ourselves alive and alert so that we can soak in all of His promises and fulfill the destiny that's on our lives. That is good stuff! Stay on your guard and if there is somebody roaring at you...don't run into the trap, stand firm knowing that your faith in God will guard and protect you and continue to lead you in the right direction.
Monday, April 23, 2012
Thursday, April 19, 2012
Love and Letting Go
Psalm 119:41-43, " May Your unfailing love come to me, O Lord, Your salvation according to Your promise; then I will answer the one who taunts me, for I trust in Your word. Do not snatch the word of truth from my mouth, for I have put my hope in Your laws."
I'm not specifically sure who the person who wrote this was talking about when he talks about "the one who taunts me" but, I know for me that the one who taunts me is the enemy. Everyday, in any way he can. This particular psalmist(scholars believe that the true author of this passage was King David or his words written by other men) was pretty much saying, " God if You will have mercy on me and show me how much you love me, THEN, I will have something real to throw back at my enemy." He goes on to say (in my perspective), " I am relying on Your Word so please don't let it return void because my hope is in the fact that it will do it's job and quiet the one who taunts me."
I have been hiding God's Word in my heart daily. I use the Word that's hidden in my heart a lot to answer the enemy. Some days the only answer I have for him is the name of Jesus. The reason I have these answers in me is because God's unfailing love has come to me, He saved me and saves me daily. I fight doubt that His Word will not return void in my life. I don't know what His ultimate plan is except for the promises that He has laid out before me. Those are the only things that I have to cling to. I'm pretty sure that's what this writer was saying. Don't take Your Word from me God, I trust it, it's my only hope. It's true.
Today, I realize God's unfailing love in the fact that I have His Word. That in His amazing love and mercy He has given me something to answer the one who taunts me. He has put the weapons that I need right in front of me, I just have to wield them.
We all have to realize that this thing we have with God has to be an every day, every moment thing. Sounds intense, but if we are going to overcome and have victory in our lives, well...being in a battle is intense, there's just no way around that. We have to be driven to hold on to Him above all else. Driven to hide His promises in our hearts. I cry now, like I do a lot lately, because I feel broken into a million pieces, completely exposed and completely relying on the mercy and sovereignty of God to lead and guide me where only He can. I'd just like to get there with all of my limbs and organs intact! It's probably the first time in my 25 years of walking with God that I know that I have absolutely no control. The more I know Him, the more I'm perfectly content with this fact.
I know that He is loving me without fail. The reason I know this is because I wouldn't be this broken, this exposed if He wasn't. He loves me so much that He is wooing( I love this word :-) me to see Him so that I can have everything He has promised. It's awesome, it's painful, but the most beautiful process I have ever walked through in my journey with Him.
Those of us who have kids, when disciplining them we say, "I'm trying to protect you, or help you because I love you." I'm just going to let go and let Him love me...that's the only way to have His full protection and the only way I will ever learn. It feels good to let go.
I'm not specifically sure who the person who wrote this was talking about when he talks about "the one who taunts me" but, I know for me that the one who taunts me is the enemy. Everyday, in any way he can. This particular psalmist(scholars believe that the true author of this passage was King David or his words written by other men) was pretty much saying, " God if You will have mercy on me and show me how much you love me, THEN, I will have something real to throw back at my enemy." He goes on to say (in my perspective), " I am relying on Your Word so please don't let it return void because my hope is in the fact that it will do it's job and quiet the one who taunts me."
I have been hiding God's Word in my heart daily. I use the Word that's hidden in my heart a lot to answer the enemy. Some days the only answer I have for him is the name of Jesus. The reason I have these answers in me is because God's unfailing love has come to me, He saved me and saves me daily. I fight doubt that His Word will not return void in my life. I don't know what His ultimate plan is except for the promises that He has laid out before me. Those are the only things that I have to cling to. I'm pretty sure that's what this writer was saying. Don't take Your Word from me God, I trust it, it's my only hope. It's true.
Today, I realize God's unfailing love in the fact that I have His Word. That in His amazing love and mercy He has given me something to answer the one who taunts me. He has put the weapons that I need right in front of me, I just have to wield them.
We all have to realize that this thing we have with God has to be an every day, every moment thing. Sounds intense, but if we are going to overcome and have victory in our lives, well...being in a battle is intense, there's just no way around that. We have to be driven to hold on to Him above all else. Driven to hide His promises in our hearts. I cry now, like I do a lot lately, because I feel broken into a million pieces, completely exposed and completely relying on the mercy and sovereignty of God to lead and guide me where only He can. I'd just like to get there with all of my limbs and organs intact! It's probably the first time in my 25 years of walking with God that I know that I have absolutely no control. The more I know Him, the more I'm perfectly content with this fact.
I know that He is loving me without fail. The reason I know this is because I wouldn't be this broken, this exposed if He wasn't. He loves me so much that He is wooing( I love this word :-) me to see Him so that I can have everything He has promised. It's awesome, it's painful, but the most beautiful process I have ever walked through in my journey with Him.
Those of us who have kids, when disciplining them we say, "I'm trying to protect you, or help you because I love you." I'm just going to let go and let Him love me...that's the only way to have His full protection and the only way I will ever learn. It feels good to let go.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012
It's what we all want
No matter what any man or woman has ever been through, no matter what the circumstance, we were wired to desire love. The Word of God says that God is Love and if we were made in His image then it is engrained in us to desire love. I woke this morning very emotional, I know, that seems to be a current thing these days, I just can't help it! Anyway, I was thinking about my amazing husband and how much he loves me. In this theme of really understanding and accepting that God really does love me it helps me to relate it to the tangible relationship that I have with Chad.
I love my husband, with all of my being I love him. Not because of what he does for me, but just because he was made for me and I for him. I think maybe with God what's happened is that I have not been careful enough to love Him just because He made me and loved me enough to allow me to exist. God's love for me has some how become conditional. Now why would I have more trust and faith in my husband, who unconditionally loves me as best as a human can instead of Jesus who says over and over in the Word how His love is unconditional. I mean really, He died for me before I even knew who He was. That's love.
Throughout the Bible there are many, many scriptures regarding God's unfailing love. Unfailing defined: continuous or unceasing. So God's love is unfailing, unconditional...continuous and unceasing...incredible to say the least.
Exodus 15:13, " In Your unfailing love You will lead the people you have redeemed. In Your strength You will guide them to Your holy dwelling."
Through this journey, God has already been showing me His unfailing love as He has been leading me into all truth. It seems I should just see that and be totally convinced of how much He really loves me. I think if I read what's coming out of this spirit right now over and over it might really be that easy.
Psalm 130:7, " O Israel ( O Mandy), put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing (continuous, unceasing) love and with Him is full redemption."
I told Chad this morning that I wanted him to be enamored (charmed or captivated) by me again instead of having the worry or concern for me. God is enamored with me and I with Him more than ever before. I really believe God, in His amazing love, wants to charm me and captivate me. I just have to be able to receive it, fully. I believe to succeed in this I just have to continue to know Him. It's such a process. The longer I have know Chad, the more I love him...I really do believe it's the same with God. It's a relationship, not just a one night stand. It takes effort, give and take and dying to oneself to have this kind of love. Hmmm...dying to oneself, back to that again :-)
I love my husband, with all of my being I love him. Not because of what he does for me, but just because he was made for me and I for him. I think maybe with God what's happened is that I have not been careful enough to love Him just because He made me and loved me enough to allow me to exist. God's love for me has some how become conditional. Now why would I have more trust and faith in my husband, who unconditionally loves me as best as a human can instead of Jesus who says over and over in the Word how His love is unconditional. I mean really, He died for me before I even knew who He was. That's love.
Throughout the Bible there are many, many scriptures regarding God's unfailing love. Unfailing defined: continuous or unceasing. So God's love is unfailing, unconditional...continuous and unceasing...incredible to say the least.
Exodus 15:13, " In Your unfailing love You will lead the people you have redeemed. In Your strength You will guide them to Your holy dwelling."
Through this journey, God has already been showing me His unfailing love as He has been leading me into all truth. It seems I should just see that and be totally convinced of how much He really loves me. I think if I read what's coming out of this spirit right now over and over it might really be that easy.
Psalm 130:7, " O Israel ( O Mandy), put your hope in the Lord, for with the Lord is unfailing (continuous, unceasing) love and with Him is full redemption."
I told Chad this morning that I wanted him to be enamored (charmed or captivated) by me again instead of having the worry or concern for me. God is enamored with me and I with Him more than ever before. I really believe God, in His amazing love, wants to charm me and captivate me. I just have to be able to receive it, fully. I believe to succeed in this I just have to continue to know Him. It's such a process. The longer I have know Chad, the more I love him...I really do believe it's the same with God. It's a relationship, not just a one night stand. It takes effort, give and take and dying to oneself to have this kind of love. Hmmm...dying to oneself, back to that again :-)
Tuesday, April 17, 2012
Dying to know His love
All this time I have been thinking that the miracle was found in my body being healed completely in the natural. While I still believe that, I believe at this point it's about me being tucked away and truly learning how to take up my cross daily and die to myself in every way. Those of you who know me, I don't mean this to be prideful at all, know that I have paid a hefty price already for what God has used me for already. I have always thought that I was pretty dead to myself. In some areas yes, but obviously, being the human that I am, there's still more to be pruned from my life if I am going to be fully equipped to do what I really feel God is calling me to do with the rest of this life.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-3, " There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build."
I have been saying this whole time that God has had me tucked away for a reason. I know that He is not causing the sickness, pain or disease. But, knowing His Word, He is using it for my good and for His. This has been an incredible time for me to gain more understanding, to be reborn in His Word, to be planted and rooted in Him, where my roots run deeper than ever before. It's been a time to not only heal my physical body, but most of all my heart, my spirit. He has been tearing things down and rebuilding what's right.
Still, there's more dying to be done, there's more rotten roots that He has to uproot, still more killing of the things that are keeping me from my full healing and more tearing down of walls that I didn't know existed until the other walls were torn down. LOL! I'm like an onion, I have many layers...name that movie!
Sitting here, I think, " God why would you use me like this?" Why does He take such a broken, imperfect person and anoint them and use them for His glory? Why doesn't He just use someone else, who doesn't have so many "layers" to break through? I know the answer...just really makes me see how much He truly loves me when I ask myself those questions.
Did you know that my whole name means love? Amanda means: beloved of God and my middle name is Love and yet over the last 7 years of this journey, I have doubted God's love more than any of His other promises or attributes. I don't think I have ever said that out loud until right now. I've always thought it, but it was to weak in my mind to admit to it. I see His love so much through others, but He knows I need to see it from Him, because He knows me. I'm not saying stop the love people! I am also not saying that I have not truly felt God's love either. I see it all around me, how much He's blessed me. There are just times, not all the time, in our lives when we need a touch, or a word that's straight from Him.
So, I believe in my heart that's the first thing that needs to be uprooted, torn down and killed is the thought that God would ever not love me. I need to know, and this is super humbling for me to say, that He loves me no matter what I feel or see. Man, I thought I really had this, but if I'm honest, I cry more about this than anything else. I don't even know why I would ever doubt it and it's painful to even type. Just like I trust His promises for healing, I have to work on excepting the love that is so accessible to me.
He loves me, He love me not, He loves me, He love me not...HE LOVES ME...Psalm 31:16, " Let Your face shine on your servant; save me in Your unfailing love."
Ecclesiastes 3:1-3, " There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build."
I have been saying this whole time that God has had me tucked away for a reason. I know that He is not causing the sickness, pain or disease. But, knowing His Word, He is using it for my good and for His. This has been an incredible time for me to gain more understanding, to be reborn in His Word, to be planted and rooted in Him, where my roots run deeper than ever before. It's been a time to not only heal my physical body, but most of all my heart, my spirit. He has been tearing things down and rebuilding what's right.
Still, there's more dying to be done, there's more rotten roots that He has to uproot, still more killing of the things that are keeping me from my full healing and more tearing down of walls that I didn't know existed until the other walls were torn down. LOL! I'm like an onion, I have many layers...name that movie!
Sitting here, I think, " God why would you use me like this?" Why does He take such a broken, imperfect person and anoint them and use them for His glory? Why doesn't He just use someone else, who doesn't have so many "layers" to break through? I know the answer...just really makes me see how much He truly loves me when I ask myself those questions.
Did you know that my whole name means love? Amanda means: beloved of God and my middle name is Love and yet over the last 7 years of this journey, I have doubted God's love more than any of His other promises or attributes. I don't think I have ever said that out loud until right now. I've always thought it, but it was to weak in my mind to admit to it. I see His love so much through others, but He knows I need to see it from Him, because He knows me. I'm not saying stop the love people! I am also not saying that I have not truly felt God's love either. I see it all around me, how much He's blessed me. There are just times, not all the time, in our lives when we need a touch, or a word that's straight from Him.
So, I believe in my heart that's the first thing that needs to be uprooted, torn down and killed is the thought that God would ever not love me. I need to know, and this is super humbling for me to say, that He loves me no matter what I feel or see. Man, I thought I really had this, but if I'm honest, I cry more about this than anything else. I don't even know why I would ever doubt it and it's painful to even type. Just like I trust His promises for healing, I have to work on excepting the love that is so accessible to me.
He loves me, He love me not, He loves me, He love me not...HE LOVES ME...Psalm 31:16, " Let Your face shine on your servant; save me in Your unfailing love."
Monday, April 16, 2012
I think I finally get it...He's teaching me to die
I am having a total "it just hit me" revelation moment. There's a song by Audry Assad called "Show Me" and it's on repeat right now as we speak and I can't keep myself from weeping as I listen because, well, let me let you read the words and you will see what I am saying:
You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry
You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
And I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie
Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be
Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die
So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me
What God is speaking to me through this song is regarding this process. I mean this is an OMG moment for me. This song speaks of all these great things God can use this life to do. I have been saying to God that I don't want to end up on the other side of this process with everything healed and restored without really, fully understanding what this process is about. And now, I think He has revealed to me His purpose. He is teaching me how to die...how to die to my flesh, to my self, to my ideas, everything. He is completely breaking me apart and teaching me to die and to do it with the motivation of complete surrender to the ultimate love of my life...Him.
I am completely at His mercy to "bend and breathe me back to life", but I don't want Him to until He finishes showing me how to die. I don't, with all of my heart. I cry now because I am so broken....broken physically and spiritually in such a deep way. So much, that I just want to sit right here with Him next to me and just let it all go. He truly is my only refuge, my only answer.
1 Corinthians 15:36, " How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies."
I have planted myself in God and His Word and I have been waiting to come to life spirit, soul and body and now I realize that there are some things that really have to die first. I mean, I guess I have been on this track, but it just makes more sense right now. And now, that's what I am going to be praying for God to do in me specifically. Instead of praying for God to heal me only, which I will always do, I am going to ask Him to show me what specifically needs to die so that I can get on the other side of this process with the complete victory.
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT MY BODY BEING HEALED! It's about everything AFTER my body aligns with what God is saying. Cue me smiling at the amazing God I serve. Keep it coming Lord, I want to fulfill every part of my destiny, not just part of it. I want Your best...so teach me to die.
You could plant me like a tree beside a river
You could tangle me in soil and let my roots run wild
And I would blossom like a flower in the desert
But for now just let me cry
You could raise me like a banner in a battle
Put victory like a fire behind my shining eyes
And I would drift like falling snow over the embers
But for now just let me lie
Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Set me like a star before the morning
Like a song that steals the darkness from a world asleep
And I'll illuminate the path You've laid before me
But for now just let me be
Bind up these broken bones
Mercy bend and breathe me back to life
But not before You show me how to die
Oh, not before You show me how to die
So let me go like a leaf upon the water
Let me brave the wild currents flowing to the sea
And I will disappear into a deeper beauty
But for now just stay with me
God, for now just stay with me
What God is speaking to me through this song is regarding this process. I mean this is an OMG moment for me. This song speaks of all these great things God can use this life to do. I have been saying to God that I don't want to end up on the other side of this process with everything healed and restored without really, fully understanding what this process is about. And now, I think He has revealed to me His purpose. He is teaching me how to die...how to die to my flesh, to my self, to my ideas, everything. He is completely breaking me apart and teaching me to die and to do it with the motivation of complete surrender to the ultimate love of my life...Him.
I am completely at His mercy to "bend and breathe me back to life", but I don't want Him to until He finishes showing me how to die. I don't, with all of my heart. I cry now because I am so broken....broken physically and spiritually in such a deep way. So much, that I just want to sit right here with Him next to me and just let it all go. He truly is my only refuge, my only answer.
1 Corinthians 15:36, " How foolish! What you sow does not come to life unless it dies."
I have planted myself in God and His Word and I have been waiting to come to life spirit, soul and body and now I realize that there are some things that really have to die first. I mean, I guess I have been on this track, but it just makes more sense right now. And now, that's what I am going to be praying for God to do in me specifically. Instead of praying for God to heal me only, which I will always do, I am going to ask Him to show me what specifically needs to die so that I can get on the other side of this process with the complete victory.
IT'S NOT JUST ABOUT MY BODY BEING HEALED! It's about everything AFTER my body aligns with what God is saying. Cue me smiling at the amazing God I serve. Keep it coming Lord, I want to fulfill every part of my destiny, not just part of it. I want Your best...so teach me to die.
Peace and Envy but then there's Righteous Indignation
Proverbs 14:30, " A heart at PEACE gives life to the body, but ENVY rots the bones."
Peace: Freedom from any strife or disagreement.
Envy: a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another's advantages, success or possessions.
In my constant quest to learn what my part is in this whole healing process, I continually ask God to reveal the things in me that are keeping me from fulfilling that process the way it should be done. It's really hard to have peace with your body when you disagree with what it's feeling in your spirit. I don't completely have peace because I don't have freedom from strife and discord from what my body is going through. In my heart, there are days, when I have peace and it does give life to my body like the Word says it will. But here's my question: Can I have peace in my heart and at the same time not be content with what my body is doing because I know it's not what God's Word says and it's not God's best for my life? Is this envy or just not settling for anything less than what God has promised in His Word?
Well the definition above of envy tells me that I have two things going on in me. Envy and something we call Righteous Indignation. I don't want to walk around with envy, discontentment or covetousness in my heart, I want peace so that there will be life in me. I don't want to rot my bones because I envy those around me who can do what they are called to do completely. God has revealed some envy in me and I am repenting of that. But here's the other side:
Righteous Indignation: Anger without guilt
I do believe while I do have to repent of envy, the true definition of envy, I have something else in me called faith and belief in God's Word which makes me discontent with anything less than what He has said. Angry without guilt. I am angry at the enemy for stealing from me those things that are rightfully mine as a child of God. There's a big difference between the two. I just have to make sure to allow one to keep me moving forward and the other has to be cut out of my heart.
Man this process is so painful sometimes. Just when I think I can't be any more broken, more is revealed to be broken of! So while, with great tears, I have repented of envy in my heart, I am grateful that He doesn't condemn me and that He has given me that fighting spirit so that I can overcome and not settle.
I am standing on God's Word and holding Him to it. It's my right because I am His and He is mine. It's your right to.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
9 Lives or just a really faithful God
I have been spending a lot of time reading about Paul lately. And I promise you, it seems like he had 9 lives! I know that's because God was so faithful to him in his time on this earth. Paul suffered A LOT! I mean it's almost ridiculous some of the stuff he went through. It makes what I am going through seem like an ant bite, LOL! In his words in 2 Corinthians 11, he says, " I worked much harder, been in prison more frequently, been flogged more severely, and been exposed to death again and again." He was beat 5 times with whips, beaten with rods and he was stoned. He was shipwrecked multiple times and pretty much everyone was out to get him, even those closest to him. He had a lot of sleepless and cold nights. Suffering...I mean really.
After all this, Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:28, " Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches." Come on! Seriously Paul? Could you be anymore unselfish??? Sheesh...I pray I can obtain and walk in that kind of unselfishness.
It's really easy, when we are suffering, to seek God and cry out for Him to deliver us from it all for our own benefit or relief. I have done it and at times am still doing it. But God has been shifting my focus from crying out for me to crying out for the ultimate goal that He has in mind in the mist of this suffering. Paul knew who He was living for, a faithful God who had something in store that was much bigger than his suffering. So Paul kept pressing through. He never lost sight of how big God is. Paul didn't have 9 lives, he had a spirit, mind, soul and body that was completely submitted to our faithful God. This is why he didn't even count his suffering as anything compared to knowing Christ. He saw the bigger picture and God sustained Him.
When we are suffering, we are in survival mode, which means all we can do is think about ourselves. Somehow we have to learn how to make God and His vision for our lives and the lives of others bigger than our survival mode. What I am seeing happen in my own life, is that the more I stay in the Word and apply it to my everyday life and situation, I can see more clearly. I can hear His voice more clearly and know that He is indeed at work and has a really big, amazing plan and I GET to be apart of it. It keeps me pressing through. And when my eyes are fixed on this, God's grace is always there to sustain me.
Jesus was obviously the most unselfish person to walk the earth. Paul knew that about Him and made a decision to follow in His footsteps. It doesn't look or seem rewarding or fun when you read about them. I mean, they both completely laid down their lives for the lives of others because they knew it wouldn't be in vain. Our suffering isn't either, we just have to be unselfish enough to see it. I'm gonna keep working on this because in my heart of hearts, my very core, I want what God wants more than what I want. I do...it's hard...but I do.
Don't forget, our lives our not our own. Ouch, just hurts to type that! Forgive me Jesus for my selfishness. Help me to keep pressing forward and keep the motivation of my heart right before You.
After all this, Paul says in 2 Corinthians 11:28, " Besides everything else, I face daily the pressure of my concern for all the churches." Come on! Seriously Paul? Could you be anymore unselfish??? Sheesh...I pray I can obtain and walk in that kind of unselfishness.
It's really easy, when we are suffering, to seek God and cry out for Him to deliver us from it all for our own benefit or relief. I have done it and at times am still doing it. But God has been shifting my focus from crying out for me to crying out for the ultimate goal that He has in mind in the mist of this suffering. Paul knew who He was living for, a faithful God who had something in store that was much bigger than his suffering. So Paul kept pressing through. He never lost sight of how big God is. Paul didn't have 9 lives, he had a spirit, mind, soul and body that was completely submitted to our faithful God. This is why he didn't even count his suffering as anything compared to knowing Christ. He saw the bigger picture and God sustained Him.
When we are suffering, we are in survival mode, which means all we can do is think about ourselves. Somehow we have to learn how to make God and His vision for our lives and the lives of others bigger than our survival mode. What I am seeing happen in my own life, is that the more I stay in the Word and apply it to my everyday life and situation, I can see more clearly. I can hear His voice more clearly and know that He is indeed at work and has a really big, amazing plan and I GET to be apart of it. It keeps me pressing through. And when my eyes are fixed on this, God's grace is always there to sustain me.
Jesus was obviously the most unselfish person to walk the earth. Paul knew that about Him and made a decision to follow in His footsteps. It doesn't look or seem rewarding or fun when you read about them. I mean, they both completely laid down their lives for the lives of others because they knew it wouldn't be in vain. Our suffering isn't either, we just have to be unselfish enough to see it. I'm gonna keep working on this because in my heart of hearts, my very core, I want what God wants more than what I want. I do...it's hard...but I do.
Don't forget, our lives our not our own. Ouch, just hurts to type that! Forgive me Jesus for my selfishness. Help me to keep pressing forward and keep the motivation of my heart right before You.
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