Giving in is NOT Giving up!

I'm pretty sure my fight this morning is coming by the spirit, maybe combined with steroids weaning out of my system a little too ;-) But pretty sure it's the Holy Spirit in me! LOL! I just feel like fighting the enemy, I woke up this way this morning. Determined to not cave or give up or be fearful or dread the terror of the day and night! I don't usually wake up this ready for combat but there is a war going on!

I have to write out one of my confessions for this morning from one of my healing tools. Based out of Ephesians 6:13 + 14 and Hebrews 6:12, " I refuse to quit. I refuse to cave in. I will not be slothful, but I will be a follower with them who through faith and patience inherit the promises. I will cast down all thoughts that do not agree with God's Word. My God always causes me to triumph in Christ Jesus." I said this over and over again, until I was shouting it into the face of this enemy! I felt this confession before I even read it this morning. I was submitting myself to the Holy Spirit this morning and was just proclaiming that no matter what comes my way, I am going to lead in whatever way that I can.

I wake this morning feeling like I can't hardly stand up straight. My legs feel like they don't want to work along with a whole lot of other stuff that I could entertain. But I AM NOT! I am not going to allow the enemy to steal from me the opportunity for faith and patience to work in me so that I can inherit God's promises for today. One day at a time.


Through this whole journey, and all of us go through this in the midst of our trials, we give in to doctors, we give in to medicines, we give in to everything that seems contrary to what God is saying because we are afraid or just need relief. I am here to say today that I believe that giving in to those things is not giving up on what God has promised us. He knows we are weak. He knows we are flesh.

Most of the time we have to give in, in order to not give up the fight. I give in to God most of all. In other words, I still am trusting and depending on Him to do what He has said is mine...healing...completely, but if right now, He is calling me to lead in a greater way in the midst of the symptoms then I have asked for the courage and the boldness and the opportunities to do this. Trust me when I say I have done a lot in these last 8 years to overcome and cast down fear and have overcome quite a bit to do what I have done so far. But again, I find myself not wanting to be in that place of faking it until I make it. I want to walk in God's perfect will, whether I can feel my legs or not. Whether I can drive my car...I mean really, that's how crazy this is.

I went through a year where God challenged me to do everything I was fearful of doing. And I did it. God spoke to me so clearly and said, " Would you do this if you were well?". And, of course, my reply to everything He put in front of me was always yes. I have to say I am at that place again, but am waiting on God to lay those things out for me. What I am going through physically is so much more intense this time that I need to know that it's His voice. I need to know that I am doing everything within His perfect will. And until He speaks, I will wait and rest in His promises.

I am giving in to His purposes, not my own...and in that respect I guess it is giving up, but I can say, " I give up!" to God everyday of my life. He is one person I don't want to try and compete with!