Isn't 7 the number of perfection? Yeah, that's what I thought. We landed ourselves in the ER this past Saturday night. After all of the physical torture and torment of the last 12 weeks of weaning from the benzo drug I have been on, I found my self curled up in a ball with every muscle on the outside of my body and the inside of my body seizing. I could breathe worst of all and it just wouldn't stop. So 911 was the call.
Earlier that day Chad and I had been discussing the option of going back on the benzo drug and taking a different approach to the wean. Obviously the way we did it did not work for me. We need to figure out a way to slow it way down and we actually have learned some of those methods. Now I know this seems completely contrary to what were trying to do, going back on this powerful drug, but we had a tremendous peace and really, no other choice at that moment. It was either that, or not be able to breath or move for how ever long and we just know that God does not require that of me. He is a loving God and I am so thankful for a husband who operates out of the wisdom of God and was able to make the call.
30 minutes after taking the drug in the er, I could move and most likely could have walked out of there. The next day, I got out of bed for the first time by myself in two weeks and was able to even get a little cleaning done around the house. We are convinced that everything I was experiencing was withdrawal, but I just couldn't stick with staying off and my husband agreed and we felt like the Holy Spirit did to.
Where we are at is we are going to allow my body to stabilize and then we are going to re approach how to wean again more safely. We are completely at peace with this.
The victory was that we didn't go the er on Saturday our of fear and doubt that God wasn't for us. We went because after being completely surrounded with prayer and being completely willing to push through anything and not getting that breakthrough in my physical body, we went.
Chad and I still believe that I have been healed of ms and are still not taking any medications in that area. We also still believe that God wants me completely free from all of this, we just have to keep hearing His voice moment by moment to get to that complete place of freedom.
2 Corinthians 3:17, " Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom." So wherever the Spirit of the Lord is there is freedom. Whether we are in our home, whether we are in our car, whether we are in the emergency room. We have a choice in the midst of our circumstances to either completely feel bound by them or to allow the Spirit of God to present and minister freedom to us in the midst of them. That's what Chad and I did in the er this last Saturday.
We still feel free and know that the manifestation of that is coming. We don't doubt it for a second, we just have to get my body to line up with that. I have to admit, it's nice to not be bound to the bed and feeling like my whole body feels like when you touch a battery to your tongue!
Please keep praying for us, obviously the journey still continues and we have more to push through and understand. We feel extremely victorious and we know that our faith and belief is still intact!
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