Fight and Build

I can't believe it's been almost a month since my last post. It seems like they are getting few and far between these days as our Summer picks up! It seems like we haven't stopped since the end of April. All things fun and wonderful, but nonetheless, busy and fast pace. I am so grateful this year to be able to keep up physically that I just keep saying yes to every opportunity to LIVE life. I know, not the most balanced approach it seems but God told me a few months ago, " I have never left you or forsaken you so live." Ever since then, I can't help but LIVE by those words. And they have indeed brought me life.

The question is, " Do I feel amazing?" To speak it into existence, YES! I continue to recover physically and continue to grow spiritually to places I have never been. July 1st will be 11 months off of all ms medications. I am running everyday and have just upped my routine to challenge myself even more. God is good. As Audrey Assad says in her song "Carry Me"...

"And I know Your promises are faithful
And God, I've seen Your goodness in my life
And oh, I've found Your mercy is a river
Your love is an ocean wide"


These words are totally true in my life. Now that I have you all caught up, now I can write about what I actually feel the Spirit of God urging me to write to you about today!

Yesterday, our youth pastor, Ryan Austin preached an incredible message. We have been working our way through the book of Nehemiah on Sundays and yesterday Ryan talked about what happens when we are building walls and we start to find success in that how the enemy comes with great opposition. He spoke of how Nehemiah told the people to carry their sword (the Bible in our case) in one hand and their trowel in the other, so they could fight and build, fight and build. (Nehemiah 4)

Just recently has God gotten me to a place where I can do this. Up until recently I have been just been wielding the Word and using it as the sword that it is. I have been fighting for my physical and spiritual health. While this will naturally build you as a person, I wasn't able to intentionally step out and continue to build the Kingdom of God outside of myself.

At the beginning of June is really when God started opening doors for me to not only carry my sword but my trowel too. It's been exciting and amazing. Building people, finishing my recording project, building my marriage and nurturing my boys.

It was a great reminder yesterday to me that it's not enough to just confess the Word every day. It's not enough to just wield the Word if I want to advance God's Kingdom the way that I desire to. I have to carry the trowel to. I am so glad that God has me in this place and it was great confirmation for me yesterday to keep going!

This is the kind of thing that helps us to realize that we have to climb out of survival mode, me mode and open our eyes to the fact that God needs a people who are willing to lay their lives down to fight and build. Yes, we have to lay down our lives, otherwise there is no time left. There's not enough time in the day to be selfish lol! That is if we want to advance and move forward in any way.

So, that's the download for the day from me. My way of building for today. I pray that you all have the courage, strength and grace to fight and build today.

Nothing

John 15:5, " I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from Me you can do NOTHING."

This is not the first time this theme has run through my mind and spirit but on Sunday morning during worship I couldn't get it out of my head. These days, I realize more and more that my life is not my own, that I am on borrowed time, that apart from Jesus and His miraculous power I am nothing. I can't do anything in my own strength, seriously.

The best part is that I can say with true, pure motivation from the very depths of me that I am 100% okay with this! Nothing means something that is nonexistent. To be honest, what's the point of existing without Him? That's called survival in my dictionary and survival is all about us and it's not a fun place to be or a fruitful place to be. Don't you want to make a difference in the world? Don't you want to have purpose in your life? Don't you want the hell and the struggle that you are walking through to not be in vain? The answer to all of those questions for me is a big YES.

So yes, I am okay with being nothing. I have gotten to the point in my life where even if I have the choice to do something in my own strength, I just don't want to. And I love that I am there. Sure I have an agenda, sure I have things that I would like to do. But everyday I submit to Him, those things fall into place and perfect peace comes with it.

I am watching God answer so many of my questions. I am watching God give me the desires of my heart as I have been delighting in Him (Psalm 37:4). These are things I have been praying about and waiting on Him for. And for a long time, I might add. The more I am nothing, the more He can be something!

The doors that are opening are so big that not even my buff self can open them on my own ;-) I mean really, it gives me full confidence that it is totally Him. And therefore I can trust those doors and walk right on through with confidence and strength knowing that God is with me every step of the way.

I cannot even tell you how excited I am. 10 months off of all ms medications and going strong. People, God is amazing, to say the least. So, my advice, try being nothing for a day and see where it gets you.