Happy 4 Year Anniversary

Philippians 1:6, " And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue His work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns."

I am certain that 4 years ago today, God, began a good work within me. While it hasn't felt good or remotely looked like my definition of good, it has certainly been a good work in accordance with His word. It has been a work like no other. He has been stripping me and pruning me and making me into the person He wants me to be which is ultimately a person that bears His image, if that's even achievable. 

This day, 4 years ago, God spoke to me and told me I was healed of multiple sclerosis. I have since then been through so much and everything around me has tried to convince me otherwise. Some days, everything around me wins, but most days I stand and keep standing believing that God will continue to work on my behalf. That He is interceding for me, that He is for me and not against me despite what I feel and see every moment. 

I told myself I would document this day every year whether any body else recognized it with me. So here it is, another year down and hopefully many more to come with new victories every time. I'm still fighting and still persevering and that has to count for something, right?! 

I'll finish with the following scripture: 

2 Peter 3:9, " The Lord is slow in keeping His promise, as some understand slowness. Instead He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance."

God is patient with me in this process and because of that He is bringing so much to the light causing me to repent and become more like Him. He's not slow and He isn't withholding His promises from me...He is waiting, He is watching and He is wanting me. He is jealous for me and wants me to succeed. He wants to prosper me. I will probably never understand why I'm walking this journey but thank God I don't have to in order to be victorious. I don't have any idea what the future holds, but I will continue to not be moved or shaken by my circumstances by hanging on to my unshakable God.

Here's to another year...

Visions and Dreams

Visions and Dreams...they can be a beautiful thing and/or absolutely terrifying. We've all had them. We've all been woken in the night either delighted at the possibility of that dream becoming real or woken up praying that it doesn't. We've all had the experience of being able to get away from our reality, whether welcomed or not, only to wake up to our reality.

Over the last 10 months I've learned a little something about visions and dreams. As most of you know, we've just recently had a new addition to our family. Our sweet little girl, Ashlyn. She was a sweet surprise to our crazy world and season. She wasn't planned, at least by us anyway!

 Just a little back story...I have dreamed of Ashlyn since I was just a teeny bopper! Literally, I would have visions and dreams of her that would wake me in the night. I would feel her kicking me in my womb before I even knew what it felt like to be pregnant. I saw her sweet face on more than one occasion as well. God gave me her name before I knew my husband. When I got married and 6 years later found out I was pregnant, I started looking at names and discovered the meaning of her name (not sure why I never looked it up before that) as we were hunting names for boys and girls. I thought for sure she was in the line up to be in my arms! Well, 2 beautiful BOYS later, I started to wonder. Come to find out her name, Ashlyn Renee, means Vision or Dream reborn. As we went through the ups and downs with my health and all that it took just to have our 2 sweet boys, I started to realize that this little vision might just be that. Nothing more than a vision and a dream that wasn't going to be a reality. I thought, why would God allow me to see her so vividly and so many times if I wasn't going to get to have her in my world. I questioned if it was God who gave me these visions and dreams when I knew it was absolutely Him. And from day 1 of my pregnancy, the enemy was there, waiting to steal, kill and destroy that which God had ordained.

To the point:

1. God gives us visions and dreams for a reason.

God allowed me to see this sweet girl before I even knew if I was getting married, before I knew if I could bear children, before I knew I would be hit with sickness and disease...He allowed me to see a glimpse of what He had for me so that when I am being hit from every side, I could see His plans to prosper me and give me good things. He allowed me to see His goodness so that I would have something to look to...Hope, He was setting a foundation of hope in Him and not my circumstances. This vision was pretty much an impossibility in my world. My circumstances said no on every side to this becoming a reality and my circumstances are still screaming no even though it's my reality!

Take away: Don't let go of what God has shown you. If it's Him, no matter your circumstances, if you delight yourself in Him, He will give you the desires of your heart (Psalm 37:4).

2. It's easy to question whether the vision or dream is God's or of your own making.

I don't know about you, but there have been many times I've thought I've heard the voice of  God only for it to be mine. There have been many plans and even things I've thought were visions and dreams from Him that totally flopped because it turns out it was something made from my own soul. So how can we tell the difference? The answer that has proven true for me is to stay in constant relationship with Him. To really die to myself and walk by the spirit. We have a greater chance of not missing Him that way. When God gives us a vision or a dream and our circumstances say something else, it's very easy to lose heart. It's very easy to doubt Him and believe that it was just something we conjured up. Because I am connected daily to Him, I laid this vision and dream at His feet. I buried it and I waited to see if He would resurrect it. And He did!

Take away: John 3:6," That which is born of the flesh is flesh, and that which is born of the Spirit is spirit." We have to continually lay our visions and dreams at His feet and be willing to let go of them.

3. The enemy is waiting to steal, kill and destroy our visions and dreams.

I've encountered a lot in the last 11 years with my health specifically. God has sustained me, but even now as I type, I am still walking through a very hard season. Physically having to over come, mentally having to stay constantly renewed and spiritually having to fight to keep the hope alive that one day the vision and dream that I will be completely well is on this side of Heaven and a God breathed vision and dream. From the start of my pregnancy the enemy was there seeking to devour the vision. We thought we lost her multiple times and then the pregnancy itself was an experience! Without going into all the details, let's just say the process was not the most joyous. Lot's of complications thus making both Chad and I think, " was this really God?". And you know what? The enemy is STILL trying to make us think it wasn't God because of everything I'm going through right now. The enemy just doesn't give up and we can't either.

Take away: We have to be aware that the enemy is constantly after the visions and dreams that God has given us (1 Peter 5:8, John 10:10). We also have to be willing to fight for those visions and dreams and not doubt even when everything around us is telling us to.

Even though the struggle is very real, God is still good and He is for us. He wants to prosper us. He wants to give us visions and dreams. He wants to produce hope in us. He wants us to trust Him, to rely on Him, to believe that what HE says will be, will actually be.

Carrying a baby aka a vision or dream is hard work and birthing it is even harder. But the end result, well you know, it's absolutely worth every moment of struggle. The outcome is so rewarding and so beautiful.

We are fearfully and wonderfully made...keep hope alive and keep dreaming.