While it's Still Dark

You see me, in the picture, yeah the one right there to the right, you see me? The answer is NO! If you answered yes, then you have amazing eye site! You can't see me because it's too dark!!! But I'm there, running through that darkness as fast as I can just like Mary Magdalene in John 20:1, " Early on the first day of the week, WHILE IT WAS STILL DARK, Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the entrance." I listened to a pastor preach on this yesterday and it was really good. After Mary saw that Jesus was missing from the tomb she went running through the dark to Peter and John to tell that them that He was missing.

The point this pastor was trying to make is that we have to run through the darkness sometimes to get to the empty tomb. The empty tomb represents Jesus' Resurrection and His Resurrection represents life, and hell being defeated and all of the promises that He spoke into existence being living and active in our lives! While there are times that we have to fight the darkness, there are times we just need to run straight through it.

Running in this instance represents seeking God, getting in His Word, praying, running after Him, finding Him, that He's alive. I'm not worried about what's in the darkness or what's surrounding me, I am just running through it as fast as I can to get to the Light! That's where deliverance, healing, redemption and restoration is.

1 Peter 2:9, " But you are chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God , that you may declare the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His wonderful light."

The Holy Spirit was given to us and He is calling from the other side of the darkness, calling us into the light. We can't be afraid of the darkness, we just have to trust that He is there on the other side and run straight through it to Him.

Rainy Days

Sorry for the obvious pun! But given the weather we have been having over the last couple of days, well, God uses everything to speak to me right now! I actually love this kind of weather, it's the creative side of me and the melancholy side of me. It makes me happy and feel alive! Anyways, totally not why I am writing today.

For all of us who are walking through a storm, trial, adversity, tribulation, whatever you want to call it...it can get really dark and messy sometimes. It rains down harder at times than others, the wind blows harder at times than others and sometimes, we even see the sun try and push through it all.

Recently God has been giving me lots of vision for the future. He has me writing songs, He is giving me visions of my kids, just hope for a future that I know is in store on the other side of this storm. He is revealing His Son in the midst of this seemingly dark and dreary journey. My amazing husband, as he was praying over us as a family this morning, was thanking God that He goes way ahead of us in our journey. He is always many steps ahead of us and He knows and sees the bigger picture.

Deuteronomy 31:8, " The Lord Himself goes before you and will be with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

I have a friend and fellow blogger who yesterday posted an amazing post regarding, "Welcome to Hell". It was awesome. Excuse me as I paraphrase (you should really read the whole thing yourself), her writing was referring to how we make a decision to start pressing into God in every area or certain areas and then are surprised by the fact that the enemy doesn't give up all of the sudden but yet we actually make him our neighbor by doing so. We may live on Sickness and Disease Lane and since we are trying to move, well, he's an awful neighbor and will do anything for us to stay there...forever. Really awesome stuff.

I am not surprised that as I try to climb out of my current storm, that moving off of "Rainy Day Drive" isn't so easy. The enemy is doing all he can to discourage me, but the Son keeps peeking through, reminding me that He is still there and to just keep fighting and pressing forward.

Not only do I gain hope from the Word of God but He is active and alive and now allowing me to see what He has in store on the other side. Our God is a gracious and loving God. This to shall pass maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow or maybe not even this year (also from my dear friend's blog :-) but it will pass. We just gotta keep our eyes on the Son knowing that even when we can't see Him, He's still there even on the rainiest of days.

Bittersweet

So it's been a busy week! I haven't had a chance to jump on here and update everyone on my recent set of tests. It was determined that my colon is great and that I, after 7 years of taking acid reflux medicine, do not actually have acid reflux disease. Praise God! It really is great news but it's bittersweet because we are still in the process. We have more questions because why does that medicine continue to help me when the other stuff doesn't? Anyway. We have a follow up appointment this Friday to ask more questions and along with that I am getting some blood drawn for something very interesting that I need all of your prayers for.

Talking with my neurology nurse it was determined that they want to test me for a marker that determines whether or not there is a different thing going on in my body other than MS. It's called NMO (Neuromyelitis Optica). This mainly affects the eyes and the spinal cord and the attacks are stronger and more severe. Sounds kind of familiar. Let me first state, that I am not happy about being tested for another disease nor am I hopeful that they will find anything because I just want God to do it. But if this marker is there it could explain a lot of things to us. Like why the medications I am on don't seem to be working as NMO is treated completely different. Why I am stuck where I am physically, very slowly climbing up but some things just don't seem to be getting much better. Bittersweet.

Bittersweet, but absolutely not depressing because I know, no matter what, that God is Sovereign and He is good. Job 42:2, " I know that You can do all things; no plan of Yours can be thwarted." No matter what we continue to uncover God's hands are all over it working it out. As I resist the enemy, he has to flee. Proverbs 21:30, " There is no wisdom, no insight, no plan that can succeed against the Lord." You see, we can search all we want to and try and gain wisdom and insight from everyone, but no plan can succeed against the Lord. Even the one we think might be the right one. We know the enemies plans can't succeed, but what about the ones we believe that God is telling us, but maybe it's just our plan. When we try to control things we become an enemy to ourselves and God.

I don't know the outcome of all of this. It seems as though we keep hitting dead ends but we are not according to God's Word. He is in control and I trust Him because I know Him. God keeps maturing me and teaching me. It's just not time yet for me to come out of hiding and that's okay. He is teaching me to die to myself. You know, instead of being jealous of a situation that is recently in progress that is a complete miracle. I was able to thank God for it. I know that sounds ridiculous, but those of you who are experiencing adversity and you see someone else get their miracle while you are still suffering it's hard to be mature about it with God. That sounds bad, I always thank God when He works in people's lives, but He has removed that secret bitterness in my heart. It's not bittersweet anymore to thank Him...it's just sweet :-)

Moving forward!

Another Big Leap in the Process...I need some Rest!

It's interesting and extremely non-coincidental that the gift on my life is that of healing and peace. I have been told by countless people that when I speak or sing, that the anointing on my life brings healing and peace to the spirit and soul. The very first song that I sang when I took the platform at our church is a song by Rita Springer called "Resting". I mean, really, you have to see God at work there.

Yesterday, well really over the last week, I have been struggling with a lot of discouragement. I am sure I don't have to explain why, but I will:-) I realize everyday that I need a creative miracle and a physical manifestation of that for my body to ever be the same again. Well, yesterday, as I was talking with some amazing women of God in my life and after crying and the Lord breaking me even more as I worshiped and devoured His Word He convicted me of yet another thing!

He revealed to me that every time I get discouraged, or every time I feel the need to fight, I fight the only person that is really for me and that has all the power in this whole process...Him. Let me explain. I battle with so much physically and feel it all day, everyday, but yet, everyday, I am standing on the promises of God. See, the enemy wants us to think that God's promises are not coming to life in us. That they are not true. That they are not real and working in our lives. He wants us to pick a fight with God so that he can continue to distract and deceive us. I fell into his little trap and let me say, it's been slowly but surely wearing me down.  I am so thankful that God opened my eyes to this.

 I have been questioning God, fighting Him, talking back to Him, saying, " Come on God, where is my healing? I am doing everything, here's Your promises, make them work." Do you know what God said back to me yesterday? " I have already answered all of your questions, the answer is Me and My Word and it's hidden in your heart and right in front of you, now REST in that. Quit fighting me and resist the enemy." Whoa...trust me on this one, it's much harder to fight against God and His promises than it is to use God's promises to fight the enemy. Think about that one.

James 4:7-8, " Submit yourselves, then, to God. RESIST the devil, and he WILL flee from you. Come near to God and He will come near to you. Wash your hands, you sinners and purify your hearts, you double-minded."

So that's exactly what I did. This morning, I submitted myself to the Holy Spirit, like I do every morning but this time, I repented. I repented to God for striving with Him over things that He has already done. I will not allow the enemy to make me a double-minded woman. I made a commitment to God that I would not fight Him, but that every time I have the urge to fight, I will resist the devil and every symptom and baggage that comes with him. I am going to REST in the promises of God. Knowing full well that they have already come to pass and that God's timing is perfect. He loves me and His perfect love cast out all fear (1 John 4:18).

Romans 8:31, " What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?" He is for me, He is for me, He is for me, He is for me, He is for me, He is for me, He is for me. The other popular song that God has allowed me to sing in our church is one called " You are for Me" by Kari Jobe. I just have to laugh, He has been pounding these truths in me and then all of the sudden they just come to life. This process is incredible.

The Hulk and Violet Beauregarde

I awake pretty much every morning with the reminder that I have not yet received my physical miracle. Some mornings it's really discouraging and some mornings I just try and ignore it and run as fast as I can to the Word and get my spirit awakened to the truth and that's how I make it through the day. Holding on to those promises and fighting for what is rightfully mine as a child of God. The truth is that I really need a miracle for this body to ever be the same again. I'm not discouraged by this, but am just anxious to have it.

I had a funny thought this morning that what my body is on the outside is totally different from what I perceive myself to be on the inside. My body feels weak and fragile on the outside, but on the inside, in my spirit I feel like two popular characters.

The first character being The Hulk! You know the guy who turns into a big green monster and pretty much destroys everything in his path. He's awesome! I'm sure I am surprising some of you right now, but He was especially amazing in "The Avengers" (seeing this movie was a part of my Mother's Day :-) I won't spoil anything, but He was amazing in this movie. He is one of the good guys and uses that anger for good. The reason I feel like him on the inside is because everyday in the spirit, I get so angry against the spirit of sickness and disease. When I am armored up in my green suite I start kicking butt and taking names in the spirit. I have a righteous anger that just won't let me be tempered or won't let me back down from the fight!



 Secondly, I feel like I have a little Violet Beauregarde in me. You know the highly competitive and driven little girl in the newest version of the movie "Charlie and the Chocolate Factory". She is so funny, she always has her eye on the prize and she doesn't back down from the competition, even to her own hurt. My reason for feeling like her is because first I am extremely driven in my spirit to keep my eye on the ultimate prize and secondly I feel like I am competing against the enemy so that competitive spirit rises up in me because I want to win this battle!


I know that I am going to get my miracle, even though some days it doesn't feel like that. I am standing on every promise in the Word of God and keeping my righteous anger and my fight. I will not give in. I will not except anything less than what God has promised!

Joshua 21:45, " Not a word failed of any good thing, which the Lord had spoken, ALL CAME TO PASS."

So who are you on the inside? 

Something Strange is happening...or is it?

Today is the day that the Lord has made and I will rejoice and be glad in it! Despite the fact that I am physically struggling because of the fasting I am having to do for the colonoscopy that I have this afternoon...yay! Fun times. I have been up since 6:30 this morning because I had to finish the other half gallon of the ocean water they give you to clean you out. While I was waiting the 10 minutes between each glass, I was praying for everyone and everything that God laid on my heart. I don't consider myself to be a morning person at all,so I really have to access Jesus or I am in trouble!

1 Peter 4:12-13, " Dear friends, do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you. But rejoice that you participate in the sufferings of Christ, so that you may be overjoyed when His glory is revealed."

This just cracks me up, maybe it's my exhaustion and lack of no food over the last couple of days but I love it. My favorite part of this verse is, " do not be surprised at the painful trial you are suffering, as though something strange were happening to you." Can't you just hear a snobby voice...as though something strange were happening...sheesh...come on, please what are you complaining about, didn't you know this was gonna happen. Come on, this is normal....rejoice for goodness sake for all the pain and suffering that you are going through because it is a privilege to suffer as Jesus did! LOL! Maybe it was written with this tone of voice and maybe it wasn't. But I get the point. It really is a privilege to go through what I am going through because I know that God is using it or maybe I should say me for His glory. That's the ultimate prize here on earth to me. God is using me, that's the reason He made me. Despite what the world throws my way, He is getting glory through it and in it.


Romans 8:28, " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose."

I really think that if we can get past the surprise and self-pity that suffering is a strange thing here on this earth, we will access God faster and get on with glorifying Him faster in our situations. We have been called and we need to let go and let God work for the good of us, because He loves us.

Romans 8:32, " He who did not spare His own Son, but gave Him up for us all-how will He not also, along with Him, graciously give us all things."

In other words, if God gave us His ultimate, His Son, then everything else that He has for us is a breeze for Him to offer us. Whatever we are going through, not only have we been redeemed from the curse of this world, we have God graciously giving us what we need to make it through. We can do this!

"The Others"

One of me and Chad's favorite tv series is a series called "Lost". It stopped airing a guess a couple of years ago, anyway, it just captured us from the very first show. Being laid up these last couple of days with a tube down my nose and throat, which thank God is out now, I needed some distraction so I have been watching the series again. I know, should be doing something much more spiritual, don't judge me!

Well anyway, to my point, if you've seen the show then you know who "The Others" are. If you haven't I won't ruin the show for you, I will just get a brief synopsis. This is a show about a plane full of people who crash on this mystical island and go through a series of things all the while there are these "others" that they discover live on the island to. That's all I'll say, which is already too much if you haven't seen it, but oh well....SPOILER ALERT! 

Okay, so how does this pertain to what I am writing today. I have been thinking about all "the others" who are walking through a similar situation as me. Many of them are overcoming and God has them in a process of recovery and many of them have, in our eyes, lost the battle and their lives. I got to thinking, what's the difference between me and "the others", the one's that have lost their lives to sickness and disease.

At first, I was all cocky about it and was like, well maybe they just didn't seek God like me, I know, I repented of that as soon as my mind betrayed me with this thought, don't worry. I was appalled that would even be a thought in my mind because that's not what my heart really knows or thinks. The truth is that God, He is no respecter of persons. There is a couple of places this is spoken in the Word.

One of them being in Acts 10:34-35, " Then Peter began to speak: 'I now realize how true it is that God does not show favoritism but accepts men from every nation who fear him and do what is right."

Now, I am not saying that those who receive their healing fear God more or do what is right more than those who don't receive their healing. I can't even begin to understand the sovereignty of God. This is a subject that God is just opening me to. The truth is, there is no difference between me and "the others". The only difference is the path that God, in His sovereignty, has laid out for us. What we do with it, well, maybe that's what makes a difference to.

Romans 2:13, " For it is not those who HEAR the law who are righteous in God's sight, but it is those who OBEY the law who will be declared righteous."

While I believe that we do not have to die from sickness and disease because we have that promise from God, I'm not so sure that our perspective might be off when someone does die. We think it's a horrible thing, but how do we know that God wasn't sparing them from something much worse. That doesn't make them any less righteous. "The others" that I have walked with feared God and did what is right in His sight. They obeyed His Word. It's all very mind boggling.

This is why we have to fully trust the love of God in our lives and know that He has our best interest in mind. He knows the desires of our hearts. And He knows that we want to walk out life to it's fullest and we have to trust that if He calls it, then it's the best thing. I know this seems morbid, I don't mean it that way. I'm just sorting through my questions about this too. We have all asked this question. Why them and not me? Or, why me and not them? God's ways may be mysterious, but all we have to know is that they are good, no matter what our perception. 

Tomorrow is the last of our tests in the GI department, so your prayers are much needed and appreciated. I have to begin fasting this afternoon for a 24 hour period, so excuse me while I go eat as much as possible before all the fun begins! Keep God's Word in front of you, no matter what. This is the only way we will know Him and even begin to understand Him. Out of this we will continue to know, see and feel His love for us and we will be able to fully trust Him.

My Theme Song a Sneak Peek

While I know that God has me right where He wants me currently, I have a healthy balance of not being settled in the fact that this season is forever. However, I still have my fleshly moments where I feel insignificant in the midst of the bigger picture. There is so much that I have done and so much that I have seen, it's hard to sit back and just be. There is still so much to do and so much to see, so I know that it's only a season.

I have really been getting a bit restless regarding a few things and one of those is the cd project that is completely on hold that I started last year. I am, and I know this is not the right choice of words, anxious to get back to it. I want to sing again, minister again, be used in that way again. It's hard some days to lay that part of me down and just let God continue His process in me. If you are reading the blog today you get a sneak peak...the title of the cd that we are working on is " Still my Soul ". Makes me laugh, because God gave this title to me before all of this happened. There are two ways to look at this. One, still my soul as in give me peace, still my restless soul that has been on a roller coaster ride and the other..still my soul as in, no matter what is happening around me, still my soul will bless You Jesus. So here's my theme song or the scripture God is sustaining me with right now.

Psalm 62:1-2, " My soul finds rest in God alone; my salvation comes from Him. He alone is my rock and my salvation; He is my fortress, I will never be shaken."

Everything around me is shaking as hard as it can it seems so much that I feel the shaking even in my physical body. But because my soul finds it's rest in God alone, He is my fortress, my hiding place from the war, I will not be shaken. I will be still and I will submit myself to God and make my soul be stilled and I will never stop seeking Him and trusting in His salvation and His plans to prosper me.

We are only a few days away from getting all of the GI testing done. They start on Monday and end Wednesday evening. How am I? Thanks for asking :-) My soul is finding rest in God alone and I am totally at peace. We appreciate all of you who are praying and ask that as God leads you that you would continue to. We feel like we are pregnant and we are in those last few weeks where the grace is wearing thin and we are feeling the contractions and just want to see the end of all of this. We want to see the beautiful baby that God is going to birth on the other side of this. We want to see what it looks like, feel it, grow it...I have lots of hope...if there's something I've learned with both of my pregnancies, it would be that the baby can't stay in there forever! We are gonna see the other side, we just have to stay still and rest in God alone.

Escape

Have any of you seen the movie "Finding Nemo" ? Well if not, it's a sweet movie about a daddy clown fish searching for his son the clown fish who gets captured by scuba divers. Anyway, the dad clown fish meets lots of interesting creatures along his journey. One of those creatures is a lovable, beautiful color of blue and yellow, forgetful (as in can't remember a thing) fish named Dory. In one part of the movie they are being chased by sharks and they wind up in some kind of enclosed place, I think a submarine or something. Anyway, Dory sees a door and above the door it says the word escape. Being Dory she starts trying to read it and instead of pronouncing it the right way, at first, she says, " e-scop-a", she says it over and over again, hilarious, then finally realizes that it says escape and they get out of their sticky situation.

So now that I have wasted your time with a silly story, let me tell you why this silly story is in my head this morning. Those of us walking through anything and I mean anything are always looking for an escape from our situation. We search for ways to get out and get out fast! Fortunately, a lot of us turn to God and His Word. Unfortunately, since we have this human nature that is so untamed, we turn to other things to. It can be as innocent as a good tv show or movie or something worse (by our standards) like drugs, alcohol or whatever you can imagine that this world would throw our way to distract us from the battle at hand so that we can be thrown off guard and therefore end up on the losing side.

Walking through this journey, I have been standing on God's Word and trusting and speaking His promises over my life everyday, sometimes even multiple times a day, pretty much without fail. While I see God working and I am getting better physically each week, I still get to that place where I want that quick escape away from it all. I don't want to be in the battle or the process, I just want to forget and pretend that everything is okay. While I believe it's okay to have some fun in the midst of all the stuff we battle, I think we have to be aware of our motivation for doing so. That's what God convicts me about. He gives us a pretty clear warning in His Word.

Hebrews 2:1-4, " We must pay more careful attention, therefore, to what we have heard, so that we do not drift away. For if the message spoken by angels was binding, and every violation and disobedience received it's just punishment, how shall we ESCAPE if we ignore such a great salvation? This salvation, which was first announced by the Lord, was confirmed to us by those who heard Him. God also testified to it by signs, wonders and various miracles, and gifts of the Holy Spirit distributed according to His will."

It's funny, we think we are escaping by running from the process that God has us in but our only true escape is through Him, saving us. We can't forget what we have heard, God's promises, His Word. We are just masking the pain. It's like taking medicine to cover up symptoms but it's not really taking care of the root issue. When that medicine wears off we are completely aware of the pain once again. While I am not perfect yet in this area, recognizing that my escape is best spent with Him, I am glad that God is continually teaching me how to. In Him there's signs, wonders and various miracles...I'm pretty sure that out weighs the emptiness that I receive every time I run to anything else but Him in those moments where I don't want to fight. Oh this flesh and it's motivations! UGH! I will conquer you!!!

If you are tired and weary, I believe it's okay to have a fun time, just don't neglect God or replace Him with it. He actually takes the pain away, no masking, He has given us our miracle we just have to e-scop-a into Him first!

What is "Normal" anyway?

I have said so many times, " I just want to be normal." Lately that statement comes with many tears and a husband looking at me consoling me with his actions but I know in his mind he's thinking, " I want you to be normal too!" Lol...it's funny, but it's not, well it really is pretty funny. I have said this in the past before I was even dealing with stuff in my body. When I was teenager, I never "fit in". I was always feeling like the misfit because I was beating to a different drum and I just wanted friends and wanted to be normal. There were times I didn't want to keep pressing into God as much as I was. I wanted to come out and be apart of the crowd. That way I wouldn't be such a target. My thought was, I could rest in the crowd, it would be easier. Thank God, He helped me see through that lie!

Here's the world's definition of "Normal" according to dictionary.com: conforming to the standard or the common type; usual; not abnormal; regular; natural.

 Wow...conforming to the standard or the common type. So here's the question: What standard are you trying to live up to, what is common type to you? Obviously, I am asking these questions to myself to. 


I figured out the answer to that question a long time ago as a teen and that's why it was really hard, but now I am having to rediscover that standard and common type in regards to my health. How did I find the answer you might ask? You guessed it! The Word of God. It sets the standard and He is our common type, not anything else.What He says, is what goes. What He does, we should follow. There is no higher or better standard than this. This is the definition of normal for a child of God.


Here is God's definition of "Normal": Romans 8:28-31, " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also justified; those he justified, he also glorified. What, then, shall we say in response this? If God is for us, who can be against us?."

Normal is being conformed to the likeness of His Son. That's what He intended from the very beginning of time. If we conform to His likeness than we are like Him which means in every area of our lives our norm is everything He is! All of His promises. It's amazing how this translates to every single area of our lives. If it's health, finances, relationships...you name it. 

The only way to conform to Him is to know Him and we know Him how? Yes...His Word. So even though I have my very weak moments, because I am conforming to Him...His Word says I am strong. 
So let's get with it...the new normal or rather the right normal...I am normal despite what the world tries to put on me. 

Helpless

Aaaand the process continues! God revealed to me another root issue in my life last night. I won't go into detail as to how He revealed that to me but He did. All I will say is that I have been asking God to bring everything to the light so that I can totally be free and He is keeping His end of the bargain. I feel physically and spiritually like He is taking me through the ringer and am feeling full of hope yet exhausted at the same time...it's so weird!

So anyway, the root He revealed to me last night is that in conjunction with the fear and doubt that I have been overcoming, there is this sense of helplessness in me which pretty much fuels the fear and doubt to an even greater degree. I know many of us have been in that place where we realize that we are completely at the mercy of the hand of God and we feel completely HELPLESS. Helpless as in we have no power and sometimes helpless as in we don't see Him helping us. However we know this isn't true, not according to the Word. Thank God, because I need His help every second these days and I know that's why the enemy would have me hang on to this useless thinking.

Romans 8:26-27, " In the same way, the Spirit HELPS us in our weakness. (I could personally stop right here and be just fine, but we will keep going :-) We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express. And He who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints in accordance with God's will."

Yep, not only are we not helpless, we have the Spirit of God Himself interceding for us, praying for us...and He is helping us with everything, hmm, even when we doubt that He will. You know, we say we are at the mercy of the hand of God like it's a bad thing...that's a total lie...it's the best place to be...WHEN WE REALLY KNOW HIM. If we don't know Him, we don't trust Him and if we don't trust Him, then we are doubting Him and if we are doubting Him, we feel helpless and afraid.

Here's my declaration for today: Hebrews 13:6, " So we say with confidence, ' The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid. What can man do to me?"

I am at the mercy of God's hand, but His hand is loving and faithful to do what He has promised me in His Word. And with that knowledge, I can have great peace. He's not hurting me, He's helping me. I will be chewing on this all day...deliver me Lord from this, be my helper and let this truth sink into me body, soul and spirit.

You WILL Never Guess...

So as I was stretching to do my 5 minute marathon run this morning and I was reading my list of healing scriptures that I read everyday and you WILL never guess what word just kept popping out at me! Okay, I guess I WILL tell you...are you ready? The word WILL kept popping out at me... now I know that you are totally surprised by this, so let me explain :-)

 I am talking about the word WILL as a verb and here's one of the definitions: am (is, are, etc.) determined or sure to. Bear with me because I want you to see this revelation with me! Here's a couple of scriptures to put it into action: 


Romans 8:11, " He who raised Christ from the dead WILL (is determined or sure to) also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you."


Matthew 8: 2, 3, " A man with leprosy came and knelt before Him and said, ' Lord, if you are WILLING ( determined or sure to), you can make me clean.' Jesus reached out His hand and touched the man. ' I am WILLING (determined or sure to), ' He said. ' Be clean!' Immediately he was cured of his leprosy." 


I mean this is amazing...I was going to type every scripture out of the 40 that I read that have the word will in them but there are so many! Here are some of just the scripture references for you if you want to look them up: 


Exodus 15:26; 23:25
Deuteronomy 7:15
Malachi 3:10
Psalm 91:16
Jeremiah 30:17
Matthew 18:18 + 19
Mark 11: 22, 23 + 24; 16: 17 + 18
Isaiah 43:25 + 26
James 5: 14 + 15


Just one more, it's so good I have to type it out! Nahum 1:9, " Affliction WILL (is sure to) not rise up a second time." It's so powerful when we understand what God's Word is saying, isn't it? 


I think this is interesting, one of the other words that will is related to is the word promise...pretty cool if you ask me. There is so much to understand and uncover in the Word of God and it just really amazes me when God speaks to me like this. 


God's Word and revelation to me is that He WILL (is determined and sure to) heal me. No if, ands or buts...my healing has already been determined and is sure to happen. This fuels my hope and my grace for this process. Thank You so much Jesus!

"I'm all alone, there's no one here, beside me"

You've heard that song, right??? LOL! I have worship music playing right now and that song still popped into my head in regards to this post today! This morning is the first morning of me being alone with my boys, nobody else here to help for a little while yet. Not gonna lie, I was a little nervous at first, but then I remembered...Jesus...He knew this morning would come. He is showing me right now that He has matured me, instead of getting worried, I went straight to His Word and got the peace that passes all understanding! God challenged me with this Word this morning:


Philippians 3:13-16, " Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus. All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. Only let us live up to what we have already attained."

Nice...thanks for the gentle slap in the face! In order to press forward into all that God has for me, I have to forget what's happened over the last couple of months, really as I am writing this, the last 7 years. Oh and then for just a little extra sting, Paul says, those of us who are mature should see this. So funny...I guess I'm not that mature yet...but I'm closer!

I love the last line too, " Only let us live up to what we have already attained." That takes a little bit of the sting away, kind of :-)...I have attained a lot over these last couple of months and I need to live up to that. With all the promises that God has put in front of me and all the ones He has fulfilled, it should be easy, yet this flesh gets in the way, still, but at least now my flesh knows whose boss!

So even though I have my reinforcements coming soon, I have the best Enforcer sitting right with me. I am gonna press forward and trust Him and know that He orders my EVERY step. It's gonna be a great day...