Definitely a common expression in our generation! But I have a different way of using it today. Oh my Word as in the Word of God. The Sword of the Spirit, my weapon! Cheesy, you might be thinking, oh well, deal with it! I woke up with this title in my spirit and couldn't shake it!
Those of you who follow this blog closely know how passionate I am about the Word of God and the authority that it has in our lives if we learn how to apply it and wield it correctly. God is continually narrowing my focus on this and I am learning so much and seeing so much of God's agenda being fulfilled in my life and the lives of others as they do the same thing.
Proverbs 13:13, " Whoever despises the Word brings destruction on himself, but he who reveres the commandment will be rewarded."
Whoa, that's a strong Word. No gray area there! You might say, " Well despise is a pretty strong word." Despise means to regard with contempt, distaste, disgust, disdain; scorn; loathe. That is strong, but there are some words in there that aren't so strong. We may not have a distaste for the Word or be disgusted with it, but we may loathe having to do what the Word of God requires us to. It takes an effort and a sacrifice on our part therefore we "despise" it in some way because it's requiring something of us that we may not be ready to give.
Being honest here, I despised the Word. Last year, I was almost mad at it because I couldn't see the fruit of it and didn't see the point because every time I would get into the Word it seemed like the enemy would come at me harder or just the world itself would come bearing down on me even stronger. So I was thinking well what in the world??? Well obviously I had a lot of changing that needed to happen in my heart and then my approach to God and the Word changed and then I started to see myself change from the inside out. I started to recover physically, mentally and emotionally.
Hebrews 11:6, " But without faith it is impossible to please Him, for he who comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."
John 1:1, "In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God."
So if we put these together...what do we get? So if God is the Word and He has called us to diligently seek Him then that means apart of seeking Him and knowing Him is knowing the Word! And when we do this He rewards that! I am all about rewards lol!
I want all that God has for me. That sounds really selfish, but I am pretty sure He wants that too, otherwise why would He offer it so freely? So, yes, oh my Word, I love my big God and His Word. It's my weapon against the enemy and this world, it's my daily bread...nothing is more satisfying and NOTHING is more powerful.
Monday, August 19, 2013
Thursday, August 15, 2013
What A Nightmare!
Sub-consciencely that is. Over the last month I have been having countless nightmares. Some that wake me to crying and some that just stir me enough to where I feel like I haven't rested. These nightmares are all over the place but have a common theme. Death and destruction. The main idea of them is that I find myself dealing with the fact that I am not healed of sickness and disease. I have these dreams that my body is not recovering and then when I wake up the next day the enemy tries to bring symptoms that back up the dreams he has sent my way. Obviously a complete lie.
I haven't felt the release to blog about this until now because I have truly been able to overcome this current attack. And I am still overcoming, but it's starting to make me righteously mad! It's funny, in the day, I have the Word and can use every ounce of authority that God has given me and fight off the devil and his schemes and he knows it. But in the night when I am not awake he is trying to find new ground to conquer. So each morning I wake, I take up my sword and my shield of faith and keep on going! Some of these dreams have been about people I don't even know, which is a dead give away that it's the enemy torturing me. Totally random and really quite ridiculous.
We had a guest pastor in last weekend and since then I can't seem to settle my spirit, in a good way. His challenge was based on Nehemiah. The summary, Nehemiah got a report about a certain city and it moved him so much that it stopped him in his tracks and he fell to his knees and wept and prayed and within the next 52 days of his life he went in and completely changed this city and made a huge difference in the Kingdom of God and the lives of the people. He found the thing that moved him and he went after it with all of his heart.
I have had God speak to me different bits and pieces of what it is that moves me. Of what it is that drops me to my knees and makes me want to cry and make a difference in the Kingdom and in the lives of others. But I can't seem to put it all together and get to that place where it makes sense to be able to move and go with it.
The main thing that keeps surfacing is the fact that I all of sudden have this overwhelming compassion for the sick. I know, your saying, duh, because of what you've been through, why wouldn't you. Well that's part of it, but 99% of it is because I have died to myself and my agenda and my way of thinking therefore God has given me a heart of mercy and compassion that I never had before. This is gonna sound really bad but I have never, ever been known for my gift of mercy and compassion.
Yesterday, I was moved by the Holy Spirit to go and visit a friend in the hospital. It was quite awesome because I went there for the first time in a long time by choice not because I had to! I went in with great courage and strength and then I couldn't get out of there fast enough before I completely lost it. I called Chad to process what I was feeling. I was angry, sad, frustrated, feeling hopeless and confused. I couldn't handle seeing all of those people sick and not walking in everything that God has for them. I know that this was God's heart and burden being expressed in and through me.
Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
We cannot believe that God, Himself doesn't grieve over the things that He has paid the price for, that He has laid down His life for and doesn't see coming to pass in our lives and the lives of others. He is interceding for us with GROANS that words cannot express. That is a deep, deep expression.
I don't like to feel what I felt yesterday, but you know what, it is causing me to move towards that which God has called me to do. Just like Nehemiah, that was God in him causing him to be moved with compassion. It was painful for Nehemiah to feel that, but it made him move forward and make a difference, a huge difference. I want to do that, no matter how bad it hurts.
Just one more thing, last night was our Engage the Spirit worship night. I had made a deal with God that if I drew near to Him, that He would do His part and draw near to me by way of the symptoms I deal with when I am singing etc. I know, bold. However, I was holding God to His Word and He most certainly came through. My desire was to lead with boldness and authority. Well during the 3rd song of the night all the power went out and the next song on the list was one that I was to lead, "No Sweeter Name". So we all gathered, in the dark, around the stairs, guitars, singers and congregation and we began to sing as one voice. Really the congregation led me! It was so amazing, not what I pictured, but I led with authority and the Name of Jesus was exalted. On top of that, I had no symptoms last night! I felt so free physically, emotionally and mentally. Thank You Jesus.
So I guess, what I am saying or trying to say today is that I am feeling the urgency to move and to walk out and to put into action that thing in me that has caused me to stop and weep and pray like Nehemiah did. I am praying that God will allow me to put it all together to where He can be glorified and the next leg of this journey I am on can began.
I haven't felt the release to blog about this until now because I have truly been able to overcome this current attack. And I am still overcoming, but it's starting to make me righteously mad! It's funny, in the day, I have the Word and can use every ounce of authority that God has given me and fight off the devil and his schemes and he knows it. But in the night when I am not awake he is trying to find new ground to conquer. So each morning I wake, I take up my sword and my shield of faith and keep on going! Some of these dreams have been about people I don't even know, which is a dead give away that it's the enemy torturing me. Totally random and really quite ridiculous.
We had a guest pastor in last weekend and since then I can't seem to settle my spirit, in a good way. His challenge was based on Nehemiah. The summary, Nehemiah got a report about a certain city and it moved him so much that it stopped him in his tracks and he fell to his knees and wept and prayed and within the next 52 days of his life he went in and completely changed this city and made a huge difference in the Kingdom of God and the lives of the people. He found the thing that moved him and he went after it with all of his heart.
I have had God speak to me different bits and pieces of what it is that moves me. Of what it is that drops me to my knees and makes me want to cry and make a difference in the Kingdom and in the lives of others. But I can't seem to put it all together and get to that place where it makes sense to be able to move and go with it.
The main thing that keeps surfacing is the fact that I all of sudden have this overwhelming compassion for the sick. I know, your saying, duh, because of what you've been through, why wouldn't you. Well that's part of it, but 99% of it is because I have died to myself and my agenda and my way of thinking therefore God has given me a heart of mercy and compassion that I never had before. This is gonna sound really bad but I have never, ever been known for my gift of mercy and compassion.
Yesterday, I was moved by the Holy Spirit to go and visit a friend in the hospital. It was quite awesome because I went there for the first time in a long time by choice not because I had to! I went in with great courage and strength and then I couldn't get out of there fast enough before I completely lost it. I called Chad to process what I was feeling. I was angry, sad, frustrated, feeling hopeless and confused. I couldn't handle seeing all of those people sick and not walking in everything that God has for them. I know that this was God's heart and burden being expressed in and through me.
Romans 8:26, "In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express."
We cannot believe that God, Himself doesn't grieve over the things that He has paid the price for, that He has laid down His life for and doesn't see coming to pass in our lives and the lives of others. He is interceding for us with GROANS that words cannot express. That is a deep, deep expression.
I don't like to feel what I felt yesterday, but you know what, it is causing me to move towards that which God has called me to do. Just like Nehemiah, that was God in him causing him to be moved with compassion. It was painful for Nehemiah to feel that, but it made him move forward and make a difference, a huge difference. I want to do that, no matter how bad it hurts.
Just one more thing, last night was our Engage the Spirit worship night. I had made a deal with God that if I drew near to Him, that He would do His part and draw near to me by way of the symptoms I deal with when I am singing etc. I know, bold. However, I was holding God to His Word and He most certainly came through. My desire was to lead with boldness and authority. Well during the 3rd song of the night all the power went out and the next song on the list was one that I was to lead, "No Sweeter Name". So we all gathered, in the dark, around the stairs, guitars, singers and congregation and we began to sing as one voice. Really the congregation led me! It was so amazing, not what I pictured, but I led with authority and the Name of Jesus was exalted. On top of that, I had no symptoms last night! I felt so free physically, emotionally and mentally. Thank You Jesus.
So I guess, what I am saying or trying to say today is that I am feeling the urgency to move and to walk out and to put into action that thing in me that has caused me to stop and weep and pray like Nehemiah did. I am praying that God will allow me to put it all together to where He can be glorified and the next leg of this journey I am on can began.
Monday, August 12, 2013
Potty Training
We have officially started the potty training journey with our 3 1/2 year old, Sam! Yeah, don't judge me, he just hasn't been ready and neither have I after spending 2 years fighting with my now 5 year old, Parker, who is finally completely trained. Now that our busy Summer is calming down, I felt the peace of God to start and felt the timing was right, so here we go. God's grace is sufficient right??? LOL!Anyway, I was contemplating this process of potty training and the Holy Spirit was reminding me that this process is much like our process with Him. With Sam, and with Parker, I had to train and remind them every step of the way, if you need to go potty, remember, don't pee pee or poo poo on the floor, remember here is your potty etc. It's constant until the habit forms and they've got it on their own. Success!
This is so how God is with us. First, just like with potty training, we have to say goodbye to the diapers and put on our big boy/girl underwear. Then we have to have our parent remind us of the change and keep reminding us until we get it.
If we want to be big boys and girls in the Kingdom of God we have to say goodbye to the diapers and put on our big boy/girl underwear! The way we do that is to totally submit ourselves to the Holy Spirit and the Word of God. We have to allow Him to remind us and keep reminding us so we can mature. Sam has to submit to me as his authority in order for this process to work, right? Otherwise, it's gonna be a long road. Example, Parker, two years, with breaks in between because of submission issues (he really is the best kid ;).
This morning as I was praying before my workout, I realized over the last couple of weeks, while I have stayed in the Word, I haven't intentionally submitted myself to the Holy Spirit and His agenda which is super easy to do when you are constantly on the go, but still, no excuse. So I re-committed to that and I felt the weight I have been feeling with potty training starting, getting ready for homeschooling to start and just getting back into the routine of life itself lift off my shoulders. Peace and grace.
Proverbs 3:5-8, " Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord and depart from evil. It will be health to your flesh and strength to your bones."
If Sam were to lean on his understanding regarding potty training, he would never get trained because he doesn't know how to on his own. Same with us and God, we cannot lean on our own understanding when it comes to God and His ways, we have have trust in Him and let Him direct us, then the maturing begins!
Sunday, August 11, 2013
The Summer of Perspective
Cue a big sigh from me right now! We are finally back after two weeks of conferencing and vacationing. While it's been a lot of fun, I am really glad to be home, especially in my own bed! It has been an incredible Summer and although it's not quite over yet, it is getting close. We are starting to get ready for school to start and the Fall routine to set in. It's exciting. And it has caused me to take a close look at what God has accomplished this Summer compared to last Summer in my life.
Perspective: the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it. God has given me perspective, the proper and accurate point of view and the ability to see what He has done this year and just within these last 3 months.
Last Summer, this time, I had just gotten off of the ms medications and I was also weaning off of the benzo drug that I am still currently on. To say the least, I was going through physical hell. I wrote many blogs during that time, but the one that stands out to me is " Having done all to stand...Stand". It's the one about Lot's wife looking back on Sodom and Gomorrah and turning into a pillar of salt. She disobeyed God and therefore suffered the consequences. We believe that on August 1st God healed me of ms. And since then, we have been tempted to look back but instead we have stayed obedient to God's Word and we have not looked back.
Now here we are a year from that moment and I am happy to say that we have not turned into pillars of salt! Does that mean my body is completely cooperating or that we still don't have some major mountains that need to be removed? NO! But perspective is a great thing. What makes us as God's kids stand out in the storms is the fact that we keep the proper or accurate point of view of the situation. The only way we can do that is by seeing things the way God sees them and the only way we can do that is to know Him and the only way we can do that is to stay in the Word, constantly!!!
This Summer, not only have I been out of bed, but I have been working out almost every single day, I have spent the entire Summer in the pool with my boys, helped my best friend move back to California, driven where ever I have needed to go, planned a beach getaway for my sister's birthday, been to a week long conference and a week long vacation afterward. I did all the going, the packing, the shopping, you name it! I have been able to be a person, a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter and a friend. Last Summer, I was a limp noodle in a bed, just trying to survive.
A few living and active promises that I confess everyday that really stand out are the following:
Isaiah 40:31, " Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Jeremiah 33:6, " Behold, I will bring health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth."
Isaiah 41:10, " Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Proverbs 9:10-11, " The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you."
No explanation needed. These scriptures speak for themselves. They have been living and active promises and weapons in my life this Summer. I have not lost sight of God's perspective vs mine. If I do I will surely become a pillar of salt.
As we keep moving forward, I know that God's promises WILL NOT FAIL ME. The mountains that need to be removed, will be. The symptoms that need to go away, will go away. Perspective...it's a powerful thing when you take on God's and not your own.
Perspective: the proper or accurate point of view or the ability to see it. God has given me perspective, the proper and accurate point of view and the ability to see what He has done this year and just within these last 3 months.
Last Summer, this time, I had just gotten off of the ms medications and I was also weaning off of the benzo drug that I am still currently on. To say the least, I was going through physical hell. I wrote many blogs during that time, but the one that stands out to me is " Having done all to stand...Stand". It's the one about Lot's wife looking back on Sodom and Gomorrah and turning into a pillar of salt. She disobeyed God and therefore suffered the consequences. We believe that on August 1st God healed me of ms. And since then, we have been tempted to look back but instead we have stayed obedient to God's Word and we have not looked back.
Now here we are a year from that moment and I am happy to say that we have not turned into pillars of salt! Does that mean my body is completely cooperating or that we still don't have some major mountains that need to be removed? NO! But perspective is a great thing. What makes us as God's kids stand out in the storms is the fact that we keep the proper or accurate point of view of the situation. The only way we can do that is by seeing things the way God sees them and the only way we can do that is to know Him and the only way we can do that is to stay in the Word, constantly!!!
This Summer, not only have I been out of bed, but I have been working out almost every single day, I have spent the entire Summer in the pool with my boys, helped my best friend move back to California, driven where ever I have needed to go, planned a beach getaway for my sister's birthday, been to a week long conference and a week long vacation afterward. I did all the going, the packing, the shopping, you name it! I have been able to be a person, a wife, a mom, a sister, a daughter and a friend. Last Summer, I was a limp noodle in a bed, just trying to survive.
A few living and active promises that I confess everyday that really stand out are the following:
Isaiah 40:31, " Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings like eagles, they shall run and not be weary, they shall walk and not faint."
Jeremiah 33:6, " Behold, I will bring health and healing; I will heal them and reveal to them the abundance of peace and truth."
Isaiah 41:10, " Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help, I will uphold you with My righteous right hand."
Proverbs 9:10-11, " The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and the knowledge of the Holy One is understanding. For by me your days will be multiplied, and years of life will be added to you."
No explanation needed. These scriptures speak for themselves. They have been living and active promises and weapons in my life this Summer. I have not lost sight of God's perspective vs mine. If I do I will surely become a pillar of salt.
As we keep moving forward, I know that God's promises WILL NOT FAIL ME. The mountains that need to be removed, will be. The symptoms that need to go away, will go away. Perspective...it's a powerful thing when you take on God's and not your own.
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Happy 1 Year Anniversary-A Day To Remember
I just walked up to our hotel room here at our Every Nation GO Conference from attending our Ladies's Luncheon. It was amazing. Our pastor's wife, Mrs. Debbie Austin, spoke and she always brings such an amazing word. She is a woman who has overcome many obstacles to be in the place where God has set her. Just really an amazing testimony.
It's been an incredible week and we still have a couple of days left of the conference but I had to stop long enough to celebrate this day, a day to truly remember. Today, one year ago, is when Chad and I believe that God completely healed me of MS. Today, one year ago, was the day my doctors called and told me to get off of the ms drugs because they were hurting me and not helping me. Today, one year ago, I no longer had to stick myself with needles and be in bondage to a disease. Today, one year ago, I no longer doubted that God is truly who He says He is. Today, one year ago, my miracle happened and restoration in my body began.
As I continue on this incredible journey of restoration, I continue to see God move in powerful ways. My journey isn't finished yet when it comes to fighting for the battle for my mind and my body to function the way it's supposed to. But one of the many powerful promises of God that I continue to stand on is found in John 8:36 which says, " If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed."
It's been an incredible week and we still have a couple of days left of the conference but I had to stop long enough to celebrate this day, a day to truly remember. Today, one year ago, is when Chad and I believe that God completely healed me of MS. Today, one year ago, was the day my doctors called and told me to get off of the ms drugs because they were hurting me and not helping me. Today, one year ago, I no longer had to stick myself with needles and be in bondage to a disease. Today, one year ago, I no longer doubted that God is truly who He says He is. Today, one year ago, my miracle happened and restoration in my body began.
As I continue on this incredible journey of restoration, I continue to see God move in powerful ways. My journey isn't finished yet when it comes to fighting for the battle for my mind and my body to function the way it's supposed to. But one of the many powerful promises of God that I continue to stand on is found in John 8:36 which says, " If the Son has set you free, you are free indeed."
Nicely put! There you have it! No ifs, ands or buts...if Jesus has set me free, which He has, then I am free. He doesn't go back on His Word. Isaiah 55:11, "So shall My word be that goes forth from My mouth; it shall not return to Me void, but is shall accomplish what I please, and it shall prosper in the thing for which I sent it."
Chad and I cannot enter into a place ever again of doubt that God healed my body. The reason, because we walk by the Spirit and not by the flesh. The Word of God is living and active and therefore is the driving force behind every thought and action. So it doesn't matter what I feel or see. It only matters what God says. I am recovering and will continue to.
I think it no coincidence that I am attending a conference this week with the theme of GO. Over the last 8 years it's been nothing but STOP. Over this last year, God has let me GO and keep going and going and going. He is so faithful, He is so good, He is so powerful and I continue to cling to Him so that nothing can shake me.
So, Happy 1 Year Anniversary to me and many more to come! Thank you for praying and continuing to build us up and encourage us through our journey. Each of you are a vital part of this process and we thank God for all of you.
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