This morning was the annual termite inspection for our house. The inspector, Greg, that came out got to talking with Chad and I. We talked about life, kids etc. He asked me if I was okay and I began to tell him a little bit about our journey over the last few years and months and he began to tell us his story.
His wife Tiffany, has been battling lung cancer for the last year. They have been in and out of the hospital and from my understanding just finished the last round of treatment in January. They have now just gotten another report that her sodium levels have bottomed out, which usually means that the cancer is back. I asked Greg if it would be okay if I included he and his wife in my blog today so that all of you amazing people could be praying for them both in this time. We all know that fear is our biggest enemy and when we are walking through something that seems so real despite what we know God can do, it's still really hard and we need people praying and standing with us. So before I go onto say the rest of what God laid on my heart for today, will you all stop and pray with me for a miracle for Tiffany?
Jesus, we thank You for Tiffany and Greg. We thank You Lord, that Your Word says that she can live a life that is whole and healed. We are asking you Jesus, that there would be no more cancer in her body and that the spirit of sickness and disease would not be allowed to exist in Tiffany's body. We know that you can perform miracles and do amazing things and we are believing you now, that Tiffany's body is healed. No matter what the doctors say, we stand on Your Word, and that's the truest report. Thank You Lord, in Jesus Name Amen!
I really believe that God allowed us to meet Greg today so that we could stand with he and his wife. The title of my post fits this so much. It's from an elevation worship song and I just woke up singing it this morning. I don't usually like to make this known, but my birthday is this Sunday. There have been a few times over the last couple of months where I wasn't sure I was gonna make it to this birthday. That may sound dramatic to you, but it's really what I felt.
2 Corinthians 1:20, " For all the promises of God in Him are yes, and in Him amen, to the glory of God through us." Romans 8:11, " He who raised Christ from the dead will also give life to your mortal bodies through His Spirit who dwells in you."
Because of God's promises, I am here for my birthday. And because of God's promises, Tiffany is here for her birthday tomorrow! So happy birthday Tiffany!
On a practical note, we met with the internal doc yesterday and we are continuing on this track of repairing my adrenals. He really believes that's the root of all of this so keep praying with us. We are starting some new stuff and weaning from some old and just continuing to trust God in the process.
Because we're alive, we give You our lives Jesus...think on this...He deserves our lives, He freely gave us His.
Friday, March 30, 2012
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Freedom
Freedom: the state of being free or at liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint. During this whole journey, one of the main things that I have been asking God for is complete freedom. I don't want to mask things with pills or shots anymore. I want complete healing, deliverance....freedom. I don't want to be under any physical restraint anymore, when this particular process is said and done. I want to be able to have liberty to do and be what He has made me to be. I feel this freedom in my spirit, I just want it to transform my physical body like immediately!
I know this is wrong and God is dealing with me on this, but I look at others who can just freely do things as simply as get on a stage and breath and sing or go for a run or take care of their babies with no physical restraint and I crave that. I want to be physically free again. I remember what that feels like and I am at a point where I will accept nothing less from God. And He doesn't want me to accept anything less. I know it, because His Word says it.
Galatians 5:1, " It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." It is for freedom that He has set us free....read it again...it is for freedom that He has set us free. So His reason for setting us free is so that we can live in a state of liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint. Jesus laid down His life so that we can live in freedom and we have to protect that by not allowing the things of this world to burden us or enslave us. Jesus struggled until His last breathe on the cross so that we could be free. That was the price He paid for us.
I don't fully understand yet what it means to suffer like He did and still live in freedom, but I am getting it slowly but surely. All I know is what His Word says is true and that is the only thing that is driving me. John 8:31-32, " To the Jews who had believed Him, Jesus said, ' If you hold to my teaching, you are really My disciples. THEN YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE." That's what I'm doing...holding to His teachings which makes me His disciple which allows me to know the truth, the truth that will set me free spirit, soul and body.
This might be wrong to, but Chad and I covet your prayers. I need a miracle, truly a miracle to experience this freedom physically. I know God is listening and when He is ready He is going to do it. Right now I know that He is getting so much glory just through this process and that's amazing and I'm okay with that. But I want His ultimate promises fulfilled and I know that healing is apart of that for me. Let His truth set you free today, whatever you are walking through, don't let His sacrifice be in vain. Don't be a slave to this world, it's like looking at Jesus and saying," I don't care that you died for me, that you laid down Your life for me, thanks but no thanks."
I know this is wrong and God is dealing with me on this, but I look at others who can just freely do things as simply as get on a stage and breath and sing or go for a run or take care of their babies with no physical restraint and I crave that. I want to be physically free again. I remember what that feels like and I am at a point where I will accept nothing less from God. And He doesn't want me to accept anything less. I know it, because His Word says it.
Galatians 5:1, " It is for FREEDOM that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." It is for freedom that He has set us free....read it again...it is for freedom that He has set us free. So His reason for setting us free is so that we can live in a state of liberty rather than in confinement or under physical restraint. Jesus laid down His life so that we can live in freedom and we have to protect that by not allowing the things of this world to burden us or enslave us. Jesus struggled until His last breathe on the cross so that we could be free. That was the price He paid for us.
I don't fully understand yet what it means to suffer like He did and still live in freedom, but I am getting it slowly but surely. All I know is what His Word says is true and that is the only thing that is driving me. John 8:31-32, " To the Jews who had believed Him, Jesus said, ' If you hold to my teaching, you are really My disciples. THEN YOU WILL KNOW THE TRUTH, AND THE TRUTH WILL SET YOU FREE." That's what I'm doing...holding to His teachings which makes me His disciple which allows me to know the truth, the truth that will set me free spirit, soul and body.
This might be wrong to, but Chad and I covet your prayers. I need a miracle, truly a miracle to experience this freedom physically. I know God is listening and when He is ready He is going to do it. Right now I know that He is getting so much glory just through this process and that's amazing and I'm okay with that. But I want His ultimate promises fulfilled and I know that healing is apart of that for me. Let His truth set you free today, whatever you are walking through, don't let His sacrifice be in vain. Don't be a slave to this world, it's like looking at Jesus and saying," I don't care that you died for me, that you laid down Your life for me, thanks but no thanks."
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
Don't sweat the small stuff
I woke up with Francesca Battistelli's song "This is the stuff" in my head. Weird, can't tell you the last time I even heard this song.
Chorus:
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
I have two perspectives on this morning:
1. These last two months almost 3, the small stuff has been driving me crazy. Like, not being able to get off the couch without assistance or make my own food or do my own laundry, manage my home. Being able to just fold some laundry and put it away or just being able to do the dishes, change a diaper...drive. Play on the floor with my babies...you get my point.
2. God has really been talking to me this morning about not sweating the "small" stuff. Over the last couple of days, I have been physically regaining strength and have been able to get up off the couch without assistance. Yesterday, I made my own meals and even did a little picking up around the house. Starting bicycling laying down. These are some of my small things that I am not sweating about anymore. The other things will come in time.
In the midst of not being able and then being able, I have not forgotten how big I am blessed, like the song says. There are so many people suffering and for some reason, I can't even type this line without crying. Tears are literally streaming down my face because I am so blessed despite what I have been going through. I am so blessed and taken care of. I have so many people surrounding me, when others have no one. It doesn't feel or seem like I have suffered at all, but only that I have gained something priceless...a stronger faith.
Philippians 3: 8-9, " What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ,the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."
I have by no means lost all things. Thank You Jesus. But I know what Paul is saying. No pain or suffering or loss of anything compares to knowing Him in a greater way to the point where you know without a shadow of a doubt that your faith has come straight from God and not just from what you have been told or read. Straight from God Himself, that makes it so real.
We still have more answers to gain in this physical realm, but I am not sweating any of it. I am so grateful and blessed and see how God is continuing to show Himself so strong to me. I'm just at a point where, despite what's going on around me, I just want to know Him as deeply as He will allow me to. It's like Chad and I, the longer we've been married, the more in love we are. The same with God, the longer I pursue Him, the more in love with Him I become. It's so awesome.
Chorus:
This is the stuff that drives me crazy
This is the stuff that's getting to me lately
In the middle of my little mess
I forget how big I'm blessed
This is the stuff that gets under my skin
But I gotta trust You know exactly what You're doing
It might not be what I would choose
But this is the stuff You use
I have two perspectives on this morning:
1. These last two months almost 3, the small stuff has been driving me crazy. Like, not being able to get off the couch without assistance or make my own food or do my own laundry, manage my home. Being able to just fold some laundry and put it away or just being able to do the dishes, change a diaper...drive. Play on the floor with my babies...you get my point.
2. God has really been talking to me this morning about not sweating the "small" stuff. Over the last couple of days, I have been physically regaining strength and have been able to get up off the couch without assistance. Yesterday, I made my own meals and even did a little picking up around the house. Starting bicycling laying down. These are some of my small things that I am not sweating about anymore. The other things will come in time.
In the midst of not being able and then being able, I have not forgotten how big I am blessed, like the song says. There are so many people suffering and for some reason, I can't even type this line without crying. Tears are literally streaming down my face because I am so blessed despite what I have been going through. I am so blessed and taken care of. I have so many people surrounding me, when others have no one. It doesn't feel or seem like I have suffered at all, but only that I have gained something priceless...a stronger faith.
Philippians 3: 8-9, " What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ,the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith."
I have by no means lost all things. Thank You Jesus. But I know what Paul is saying. No pain or suffering or loss of anything compares to knowing Him in a greater way to the point where you know without a shadow of a doubt that your faith has come straight from God and not just from what you have been told or read. Straight from God Himself, that makes it so real.
We still have more answers to gain in this physical realm, but I am not sweating any of it. I am so grateful and blessed and see how God is continuing to show Himself so strong to me. I'm just at a point where, despite what's going on around me, I just want to know Him as deeply as He will allow me to. It's like Chad and I, the longer we've been married, the more in love we are. The same with God, the longer I pursue Him, the more in love with Him I become. It's so awesome.
Monday, March 26, 2012
You are what you eat or rather what you SAY
Say: to speak; declare; express an opinion. As I have been ingesting God's Word, I have been learning how important it is to speak the promises of God over my life. Remember Mark 11:22-23? It says, " Have faith in God. For assuredly, I say to you, whoever SAYS to this mountain, ' Be removed and be cast into the sea, ' and does not doubt in His heart, but believes that those things he SAYS will be done, he will have whatever he SAYS."
I'm pretty sure you get what I am trying to SAY! Whatever we want for our lives, the promises of God, we have to SAY them, out loud. We release our faith by what we say with our mouths. God released His faith in words, so we need to do the same thing. The issue with us is that we have allowed the world to fashion our vocabulary in such a way where we are saying the wrong things. When we are diagnosed with a disease, we all of the sudden say that we "have" that disease instead of saying, " He has healed all my diseases..." (Psalm 103). I only "have" what I say, at least that's what I hear the Word of God saying to me.
7 years ago when I was diagnosed with ms, Chad, myself and those around me changed our language. We have never said that, " I have ms", but only that I was diagnosed with it. What Jesus is saying to us through Mark 11 is that, " I HAVE TOLD MY PEOPLE THEY CAN HAVE WHAT THEY SAY, BUT MY PEOPLE ARE SAYING WHAT THEY HAVE" (Charles Capp). This is so true to God's Word.
All those promises from God's Word that we are standing on, we have to SAY them and keep saying them and we will have them. We have to change our language no matter what the cost. No matter whether it sounds ridiculous or not. We have to say what we believe.
The question to ask today and to chew on is, what do you believe? Because what you truly believe in your heart of hearts, your spirit, is what will come out of your mouth. We have to get our spirits to that place where they are not double minded. We have to keep hiding God's Word in our hearts so that it is just second nature for it to come out of our mouths. We have to not doubt the promises of God and then when we say them, there will be great power released in our lives! Let's keep pressing in and moving forward together, let's get Heaven on earth by utilizing what God has given us.
I'm pretty sure you get what I am trying to SAY! Whatever we want for our lives, the promises of God, we have to SAY them, out loud. We release our faith by what we say with our mouths. God released His faith in words, so we need to do the same thing. The issue with us is that we have allowed the world to fashion our vocabulary in such a way where we are saying the wrong things. When we are diagnosed with a disease, we all of the sudden say that we "have" that disease instead of saying, " He has healed all my diseases..." (Psalm 103). I only "have" what I say, at least that's what I hear the Word of God saying to me.
7 years ago when I was diagnosed with ms, Chad, myself and those around me changed our language. We have never said that, " I have ms", but only that I was diagnosed with it. What Jesus is saying to us through Mark 11 is that, " I HAVE TOLD MY PEOPLE THEY CAN HAVE WHAT THEY SAY, BUT MY PEOPLE ARE SAYING WHAT THEY HAVE" (Charles Capp). This is so true to God's Word.
All those promises from God's Word that we are standing on, we have to SAY them and keep saying them and we will have them. We have to change our language no matter what the cost. No matter whether it sounds ridiculous or not. We have to say what we believe.
The question to ask today and to chew on is, what do you believe? Because what you truly believe in your heart of hearts, your spirit, is what will come out of your mouth. We have to get our spirits to that place where they are not double minded. We have to keep hiding God's Word in our hearts so that it is just second nature for it to come out of our mouths. We have to not doubt the promises of God and then when we say them, there will be great power released in our lives! Let's keep pressing in and moving forward together, let's get Heaven on earth by utilizing what God has given us.
Sunday, March 25, 2012
The Root...it's not as deep as we think
Isaiah 40:29-31, " He gives strength to the weary and increases the power of the weak. Even the youths grow tired and weary, and young men stumble and fall; but those who hope in the Lord will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint."
So I am on day 2 of taking this new medication that is supposed to be helping correct the adrenal issue. While I appreciate some tangible answers, I have done this before. Talked to a million doctors who all want you on some kind of medication that they think will solve the issue. That sounds harsh and I don't mean it that way at all, it's just my way of saying my hope is not in these things to renew my strength or my body. My hope is still in Jesus and His Word. I am hoping in Him everyday and that is what is renewing my strength day by day.
God and I have a deal. I told Him at the beginning of all of this that when He gets me on the other side of this, that I would not allow my spirit to back down from this level of connection with Him. I would not back down in my pursuit of His Word no matter what my body feels like. I am so convicted of this, because it seems that every time He answers me and restores me, I back down, not all the way, but just enough to sustain me. I can't do that anymore if I want to know Him the way that I want to know Him and the way that I need to know Him for what He has called me to do.
I want to walk in authority which is delegated power. It's not something we obtain on our own. The Word of God says in Ephesians 6:10, " Be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might."It's His might, not ours. It's His authority, not ours. Medicines may help us in this physical realm for a brief reprieve from what we are FEELING, but the Word of God and our hope in His words is what gives us authority over the root of every issue and the ultimate deliverance from all that ails us in every area of our lives. Awesome isn't it!!! We don't just have to mask everything, we can actually get to the root of every issue and God can make it right. If we submit and let Him.
Submission equals freedom. Rebellion equals Bondage. Hmmm...I think I will submit, thanks. I want freedom from sickness and disease, I don't just want to continue to mask it. My hope is still planted in Jesus and His Word more than anything else. I am praying that God has you there too!
So I am on day 2 of taking this new medication that is supposed to be helping correct the adrenal issue. While I appreciate some tangible answers, I have done this before. Talked to a million doctors who all want you on some kind of medication that they think will solve the issue. That sounds harsh and I don't mean it that way at all, it's just my way of saying my hope is not in these things to renew my strength or my body. My hope is still in Jesus and His Word. I am hoping in Him everyday and that is what is renewing my strength day by day.
God and I have a deal. I told Him at the beginning of all of this that when He gets me on the other side of this, that I would not allow my spirit to back down from this level of connection with Him. I would not back down in my pursuit of His Word no matter what my body feels like. I am so convicted of this, because it seems that every time He answers me and restores me, I back down, not all the way, but just enough to sustain me. I can't do that anymore if I want to know Him the way that I want to know Him and the way that I need to know Him for what He has called me to do.
I want to walk in authority which is delegated power. It's not something we obtain on our own. The Word of God says in Ephesians 6:10, " Be strong in the Lord and in the power of HIS might."It's His might, not ours. It's His authority, not ours. Medicines may help us in this physical realm for a brief reprieve from what we are FEELING, but the Word of God and our hope in His words is what gives us authority over the root of every issue and the ultimate deliverance from all that ails us in every area of our lives. Awesome isn't it!!! We don't just have to mask everything, we can actually get to the root of every issue and God can make it right. If we submit and let Him.
Submission equals freedom. Rebellion equals Bondage. Hmmm...I think I will submit, thanks. I want freedom from sickness and disease, I don't just want to continue to mask it. My hope is still planted in Jesus and His Word more than anything else. I am praying that God has you there too!
Friday, March 23, 2012
Dianosis...dun,dun,dunnnnnnnn
Alright, where to begin? First let me say, it's all good. Chad and I are completely at peace and are believing that God is working on our behalf and did over this last week.
The first part of the diagnosis is dealing with the Autonomic Nervous system testing. We got those results back yesterday and on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst) I was a 1 as far as severity in the autonomic world. What that uncovered is that what is at work in me is a symptom called POTS - Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Which basically means that when I get up from the sitting position to standing up my blood vessels and heart are not doing their job that being the reason I feel like I am going to pass out every time I stand up and I feel like I am running a marathon just by standing. So here's how we fix that...exercise! LOL! Hilarious, right? This syndrome is mostly caused by the body being de-conditioned, example, me not being able to work out since last November and then being on the couch for almost 3 months. It can also come from spinal cord injury which they could not confirm or deny was ms related :-) More confirmation that my healing is intact! So to fix this, I have to start exercising laying down for a while and then finally get my strength to where it needs to be.
Part 2 of our diagnosis happened today and we believe that this is the cause for part 1. We met with our internal doctor this morning and every vile of blood he drew and every brain chemistry test we did indicated that my adrenal glands are pretty much non-existent. Adrenal Crisis in other words. Your levels are supposed to be in a range of 8-10 and mine are like .5-1...yes they call that pretty bad and the cause for my severe exhaustion. My blood pressure was apart of this and has been consistently low compared to my normal range over the last couple of years. Adrenal Crisis can be brought on by numerous things, one of the majors, pregnancy and just stress over time. So the solution, 2 pills, one to get my blood pressure back to normal and the other to produce cortisol in my body because it isn't doing it on it's own. We start tomorrow and the doc says I should notice an improvement in my body in just a couple of days time! We also did a food allergy test which re-confirmed and confirmed some new things that we are grateful for as we continue with the GI doctor to get those things straightened out.
Now, let me explain something...Chad and I are believing that whatever the reason for all of this stuff going on in my body is under the authority of the blood of Jesus. One of my beautiful sister-in-laws brought these scriptures to my attention. In 2 Kings 20 it talks about Hezekiah's illnesses and how God told Him to put His house in order because he was going to die and not recover. Hezekiah then reminded the Lord of his faithfulness and wholehearted devotion to Him and He wept. Basically pleading with God. Sounds so familiar! Then God spoke through Isaiah a word for Hezekiah and this is what God told Isaiah to go back and tell Hezekiah in verses 5 and part of 6, " Go back and tell Hezekiah, the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and see your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord. I will add fifteen years to your life..." And this, to me, is the most interesting part. In verse 7 it says, " Then Isaiah said, " Prepare a poutice of figs.' They did so and applied it to the boil (on Hezekiah) and he recovered."
So not only did God hear their prayers but He provided a tangible answer to heal Hezekiah's body. I have never seen this before and it brings so much peace to my spirit to know that God is using these earthly things for my good. And it's okay. Please pray with us that these new things are sent from God. We know that He has heard our cry and is bringing restoration and recovery to this body. We have experienced God's love this week like never before and are so grateful for His favor and we know it's because you all have been standing with us too. GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS! No matter what things feel or look like, He's there, listening, as we plead with Him. And He meets us where we are as we fervently seek Him out. It's amazing.
The journey continues...keep tracking with us as we keep discovering God in new ways...I know it will continue to build your faith just like it's been building ours.
The first part of the diagnosis is dealing with the Autonomic Nervous system testing. We got those results back yesterday and on a scale of 1 to 10 (10 being the worst) I was a 1 as far as severity in the autonomic world. What that uncovered is that what is at work in me is a symptom called POTS - Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome. Which basically means that when I get up from the sitting position to standing up my blood vessels and heart are not doing their job that being the reason I feel like I am going to pass out every time I stand up and I feel like I am running a marathon just by standing. So here's how we fix that...exercise! LOL! Hilarious, right? This syndrome is mostly caused by the body being de-conditioned, example, me not being able to work out since last November and then being on the couch for almost 3 months. It can also come from spinal cord injury which they could not confirm or deny was ms related :-) More confirmation that my healing is intact! So to fix this, I have to start exercising laying down for a while and then finally get my strength to where it needs to be.
Part 2 of our diagnosis happened today and we believe that this is the cause for part 1. We met with our internal doctor this morning and every vile of blood he drew and every brain chemistry test we did indicated that my adrenal glands are pretty much non-existent. Adrenal Crisis in other words. Your levels are supposed to be in a range of 8-10 and mine are like .5-1...yes they call that pretty bad and the cause for my severe exhaustion. My blood pressure was apart of this and has been consistently low compared to my normal range over the last couple of years. Adrenal Crisis can be brought on by numerous things, one of the majors, pregnancy and just stress over time. So the solution, 2 pills, one to get my blood pressure back to normal and the other to produce cortisol in my body because it isn't doing it on it's own. We start tomorrow and the doc says I should notice an improvement in my body in just a couple of days time! We also did a food allergy test which re-confirmed and confirmed some new things that we are grateful for as we continue with the GI doctor to get those things straightened out.
Now, let me explain something...Chad and I are believing that whatever the reason for all of this stuff going on in my body is under the authority of the blood of Jesus. One of my beautiful sister-in-laws brought these scriptures to my attention. In 2 Kings 20 it talks about Hezekiah's illnesses and how God told Him to put His house in order because he was going to die and not recover. Hezekiah then reminded the Lord of his faithfulness and wholehearted devotion to Him and He wept. Basically pleading with God. Sounds so familiar! Then God spoke through Isaiah a word for Hezekiah and this is what God told Isaiah to go back and tell Hezekiah in verses 5 and part of 6, " Go back and tell Hezekiah, the Lord, the God of your father David, says: I have heard your prayer and see your tears; I will heal you. On the third day from now you will go up to the temple of the Lord. I will add fifteen years to your life..." And this, to me, is the most interesting part. In verse 7 it says, " Then Isaiah said, " Prepare a poutice of figs.' They did so and applied it to the boil (on Hezekiah) and he recovered."
So not only did God hear their prayers but He provided a tangible answer to heal Hezekiah's body. I have never seen this before and it brings so much peace to my spirit to know that God is using these earthly things for my good. And it's okay. Please pray with us that these new things are sent from God. We know that He has heard our cry and is bringing restoration and recovery to this body. We have experienced God's love this week like never before and are so grateful for His favor and we know it's because you all have been standing with us too. GOD HEARS OUR PRAYERS! No matter what things feel or look like, He's there, listening, as we plead with Him. And He meets us where we are as we fervently seek Him out. It's amazing.
The journey continues...keep tracking with us as we keep discovering God in new ways...I know it will continue to build your faith just like it's been building ours.
Thursday, March 22, 2012
Keep me believing
On Tuesday of this week, I was feeling pretty down in the dumps. I really had to keep encouraging myself that day and even by the end of the day my strength was so depleted that I just couldn't fight it off anymore. After Chad and I put the boys to bed, we sat and talked and cried (that would be me doing the crying, just to clarify :-). We talked through some more of our doubts and fears as we are processing old and new information. So we did the first thing that we could do to overcome in that moment, we prayed. Chad paced the room for about 30 minutes and I laid on the couch and we just exalted God in the midst of our fears and discouragement. The more we declared His goodness and His Word, the less afraid and discouraged we became. It was awesome to see and feel God, He was truly with us that night. He had never left, we just had to open our eyes through His Word and prayer to see that He was still there for us.
I so admire the men and women of God in the old testament. If you think about it, they never saw Jesus like those in the new testament that actually saw Him and walked with Him physically. They just believed and had faith that one day He would come to save them and the world from destruction. They walked with God kind of like we do, they relied on His voice and His Word to guide them through every situation. The difference is that we have the advantage of knowing Him like those in the new testament, because we get to read about His life, death and resurrection and they didn't. But they still believed that He existed. Amazing.
Joshua 1:9, " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
God has been with us everywhere we have gone. He has had so much favor on us it's unbelievable. Yesterday we met with the GI doctor and he wants to run a couple of tests that should help us rule some things in or out. Chad and I are encouraged by the direction that this doctor is taking us in. But our hope is still in Jesus. He's our only answer no matter what.
I have read several times that it's important to write down and mark the date that you believe that God said that He healed your body so that when the enemy comes at you with discouragement or doubt, you can smile and combat Him with what God has said to you. Forgive me if these next few thoughts are found offensive, but I don't care who you are. We all fight doubt, fear and discouragement. If you live in this physical world, they are pretty much a fixture of this reality. That's why we have Jesus and His Word and His reality for us is that we are made in His image, we are spirit living in a physical world and that's how we win...everyday.
2 Peter 1:3-4, " His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these (glory and goodness) He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."
Love it! God has given us an escape route from fear, doubt, discouragement and all corruption of this earth because we are spirit. So today, in front of God and you, I want to mark down the date that I believe God told me He healed my body from ms. I believe that February 8th, 2012 was the day I clearly heard Him say this to me. This was the night that my pastors and the elders of our church and our whole church stood with Chad and I and proclaimed that it was done. I am marking it now, so that all of you can hold me accountable anytime I get discouraged or doubt the promises of God. I no longer want to live in doubt that He spoke that to me. I want to keep everything in the light so that the enemy has no place to feed on me.
I encourage you to do the same. Get that word that you need from God and then write it in pen or permanent ink if you have to and stand on it until you see it completely come to pass. If you reply to this post with that date and that promise, it would be my honor to stand with you in that. Let's keep each other believing. We need each other, that's the way God intended it to be!
I so admire the men and women of God in the old testament. If you think about it, they never saw Jesus like those in the new testament that actually saw Him and walked with Him physically. They just believed and had faith that one day He would come to save them and the world from destruction. They walked with God kind of like we do, they relied on His voice and His Word to guide them through every situation. The difference is that we have the advantage of knowing Him like those in the new testament, because we get to read about His life, death and resurrection and they didn't. But they still believed that He existed. Amazing.
Joshua 1:9, " Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified, do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go."
God has been with us everywhere we have gone. He has had so much favor on us it's unbelievable. Yesterday we met with the GI doctor and he wants to run a couple of tests that should help us rule some things in or out. Chad and I are encouraged by the direction that this doctor is taking us in. But our hope is still in Jesus. He's our only answer no matter what.
I have read several times that it's important to write down and mark the date that you believe that God said that He healed your body so that when the enemy comes at you with discouragement or doubt, you can smile and combat Him with what God has said to you. Forgive me if these next few thoughts are found offensive, but I don't care who you are. We all fight doubt, fear and discouragement. If you live in this physical world, they are pretty much a fixture of this reality. That's why we have Jesus and His Word and His reality for us is that we are made in His image, we are spirit living in a physical world and that's how we win...everyday.
2 Peter 1:3-4, " His divine power has given us everything we need for life and godliness through our knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. Through these (glory and goodness) He has given us His very great and precious promises, so that through them you may participate in the divine nature and escape the corruption in the world caused by evil desires."
Love it! God has given us an escape route from fear, doubt, discouragement and all corruption of this earth because we are spirit. So today, in front of God and you, I want to mark down the date that I believe God told me He healed my body from ms. I believe that February 8th, 2012 was the day I clearly heard Him say this to me. This was the night that my pastors and the elders of our church and our whole church stood with Chad and I and proclaimed that it was done. I am marking it now, so that all of you can hold me accountable anytime I get discouraged or doubt the promises of God. I no longer want to live in doubt that He spoke that to me. I want to keep everything in the light so that the enemy has no place to feed on me.
I encourage you to do the same. Get that word that you need from God and then write it in pen or permanent ink if you have to and stand on it until you see it completely come to pass. If you reply to this post with that date and that promise, it would be my honor to stand with you in that. Let's keep each other believing. We need each other, that's the way God intended it to be!
Tuesday, March 20, 2012
Fight or Flight?
I just kissed my two babies goodbye and sent them with their Aunt Wendy to Georgia for the day where my sister Cathy lives now. They love it out there, it's like a vacation that's only about an hour away. For some reason when I was kissing them and sending them off all I could feel was the sense of loss. The frustration that the enemy has seemingly stolen so much precious time from me with them. I shed my tears and then began to search God's Word for something to comfort me in this. I know that the enemy only comes to steal and to kill and to destroy, but Jesus came so that I could have life and have life more abundantly (John 10:10). I miss that place and am longing for it today. I am having to make that choice to fight for truth and not be fearful of what I see.
This is where God led me: Luke 19:9-10, " Jesus said to him, " Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." Thank You Jesus...comfort in Your Word. Today salvation has come to my house and Jesus is seeking and is going to save what has been lost in my world.
It's frustrating to see your world stop and not be able to operate by your standard of normal. It's stressful to watch your family and friends sacrifice for you when you can't give back. That's what I fight in my flesh everyday. But my spirit man says, " Yes, and I will continue to rejoice for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."( Philippians 1:19-21)
The Autonomic Nervous System testing was (cue my sarcastic voice) very exciting. It might be the most uncomfortable thing I have ever had to go through, but it's done with and now we should be expecting a call to follow up on those results. Some of the things that were happening during the testing were indicating already that this may indeed be what we are dealing with, so we shall see. I'm grateful that I have no appointments today and am home to rest.
Today, I am just trying to hear Paul's words in my head, so that I stay out of the realm of discouragement because of my sheer exhaustion...." I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body..."
My spirit man is fighting really hard today. I know all of you have had those days too and I am praying that you find the comfort that I have found, the truth, the Word that will set you free from any discouragement or fears. The enemy may come to steal from me, but God is going to save what was lost...that's a promise. I've got my feet firmly planted on this truth today as if my life depended on it! Sickness and disease are not my reward. I will see and am already seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living and God is going to continue to prosper my soul. I am going to continue to fight today. I know Him and because of that I love and trust Him and I know that He is faithful and true to His Word.
This is where God led me: Luke 19:9-10, " Jesus said to him, " Today salvation has come to this house, because this man, too, is a son of Abraham. For the Son of Man came to seek and to save what was lost." Thank You Jesus...comfort in Your Word. Today salvation has come to my house and Jesus is seeking and is going to save what has been lost in my world.
It's frustrating to see your world stop and not be able to operate by your standard of normal. It's stressful to watch your family and friends sacrifice for you when you can't give back. That's what I fight in my flesh everyday. But my spirit man says, " Yes, and I will continue to rejoice for I know that through your prayers and the help given by the Spirit of Jesus Christ, what has happened to me will turn out for my deliverance. I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body, whether by life or by death. For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain."( Philippians 1:19-21)
The Autonomic Nervous System testing was (cue my sarcastic voice) very exciting. It might be the most uncomfortable thing I have ever had to go through, but it's done with and now we should be expecting a call to follow up on those results. Some of the things that were happening during the testing were indicating already that this may indeed be what we are dealing with, so we shall see. I'm grateful that I have no appointments today and am home to rest.
Today, I am just trying to hear Paul's words in my head, so that I stay out of the realm of discouragement because of my sheer exhaustion...." I eagerly expect and hope that I will in no way be ashamed, but will have sufficient courage so that now as always Christ will be exalted in my body..."
My spirit man is fighting really hard today. I know all of you have had those days too and I am praying that you find the comfort that I have found, the truth, the Word that will set you free from any discouragement or fears. The enemy may come to steal from me, but God is going to save what was lost...that's a promise. I've got my feet firmly planted on this truth today as if my life depended on it! Sickness and disease are not my reward. I will see and am already seeing the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living and God is going to continue to prosper my soul. I am going to continue to fight today. I know Him and because of that I love and trust Him and I know that He is faithful and true to His Word.
Monday, March 19, 2012
A Living Hope...even on a Monday
Okay, so it's day 1 of the doctor extravaganza week! First, I am really grateful that we made it through the weekend without any more ER visits and that my sleep is returning to me...answered prayer. Today we go for testing on my autonomic nervous system. Just a short explanation for those of you who know the low down from a previous post...the autonomic nervous system controls the smooth muscles of the body where I seem to be having the most issues. While my hope is not in this, I am looking forward to what they could uncover, possibly getting us closer to some physical progress.
My oldest and wiser than me sister ;-) referred me to a passage in scripture the other day that is really speaking to me this morning. It's in 1 Peter 1 and the title of the section is "Praise to God for a Living Hope". The first few verses talk about how God in His great mercy has given us new birth into a living hope through Jesus and His sacrifice. It talks about our inheritance that will never perish, spoil or fade. Then in verses 6-9 it really speaks to me, " In this you greatly rejoice (the living hope, the inheritance), though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith, of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire, may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
I know! I'm thinking, wow, I couldn't have written this any better. Yes, I rejoice in Jesus, my Living Hope and the inheritance that I have in and through Him! It's amazing! Then it says, "though now for a little while you many have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." Hahahaha...I love how Peter says " for a little while"...because to us or maybe it's just me, these trials feel like forever! I know, totally dramatic. In all honesty, they can last as long as He wants them to as long as my faith is proved genuine and results in praise, glory and honor to Jesus. Isn't that what this is all for? For God to get all the glory, no matter what that looks like?
The song playing in the background as I type this is by Elevation Worship and it's called "Give Me Faith". The bridge says these words, " I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me, my flesh may fail, but my God You never will." To be totally transparent, I am a little nervous about this week and what may or may not be uncovered. My flesh is weak and it feels like it's failing physically everyday, BUT His Spirit is stronger than it's ever been in me and He WILL NOT FAIL even though I may fall short. God is sustaining me through this process, there have been more miserable days than pleasant ones, but God's grace has been sufficient and I know it will be this week. 2 Corinthians 12:9, " ...for My power is made perfect in your weakness." I am so broken in spirit, soul and body, I have no choice but just to completely trust Him. I picture that trust test that people do where they just fall back into another persons arms, trusting that they will be there to catch them. I don't like the feeling of falling, but if Jesus is there to catch me, then who cares what I FEEL.
For today, God is good, He is loves me, He has healed me and He will never forsake me. I purpose right now to not fear or doubt His promises to me today. It won't hurt my feelings if all of you will stand with us in this today and for this week as so many of you are already doing. We need your support, it does not go unnoticed by us or God. In the words of Jesus, " Do not fear, only believe."
My oldest and wiser than me sister ;-) referred me to a passage in scripture the other day that is really speaking to me this morning. It's in 1 Peter 1 and the title of the section is "Praise to God for a Living Hope". The first few verses talk about how God in His great mercy has given us new birth into a living hope through Jesus and His sacrifice. It talks about our inheritance that will never perish, spoil or fade. Then in verses 6-9 it really speaks to me, " In this you greatly rejoice (the living hope, the inheritance), though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith, of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire, may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed. Though you have not seen Him, you love Him; and even though you do not see Him now, you believe in Him and are filled with an inexpressible and glorious joy, for you are receiving the goal of your faith, the salvation of your souls."
I know! I'm thinking, wow, I couldn't have written this any better. Yes, I rejoice in Jesus, my Living Hope and the inheritance that I have in and through Him! It's amazing! Then it says, "though now for a little while you many have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials." Hahahaha...I love how Peter says " for a little while"...because to us or maybe it's just me, these trials feel like forever! I know, totally dramatic. In all honesty, they can last as long as He wants them to as long as my faith is proved genuine and results in praise, glory and honor to Jesus. Isn't that what this is all for? For God to get all the glory, no matter what that looks like?
The song playing in the background as I type this is by Elevation Worship and it's called "Give Me Faith". The bridge says these words, " I may be weak, but Your Spirit's strong in me, my flesh may fail, but my God You never will." To be totally transparent, I am a little nervous about this week and what may or may not be uncovered. My flesh is weak and it feels like it's failing physically everyday, BUT His Spirit is stronger than it's ever been in me and He WILL NOT FAIL even though I may fall short. God is sustaining me through this process, there have been more miserable days than pleasant ones, but God's grace has been sufficient and I know it will be this week. 2 Corinthians 12:9, " ...for My power is made perfect in your weakness." I am so broken in spirit, soul and body, I have no choice but just to completely trust Him. I picture that trust test that people do where they just fall back into another persons arms, trusting that they will be there to catch them. I don't like the feeling of falling, but if Jesus is there to catch me, then who cares what I FEEL.
For today, God is good, He is loves me, He has healed me and He will never forsake me. I purpose right now to not fear or doubt His promises to me today. It won't hurt my feelings if all of you will stand with us in this today and for this week as so many of you are already doing. We need your support, it does not go unnoticed by us or God. In the words of Jesus, " Do not fear, only believe."
Friday, March 16, 2012
Even greater news!
The day of my last post I was admitted to the hospital. I started having some more severe issues (wasn't able to eat for two days and couldn't catch my breath, like a panic attack without the panic) so we went by ambulance and God completely worked on our behalf. Apparently it's 4 times the charm, not 3! Hey, if I don't have my sense of humor through all of this then, well, then nothing! Anyway, they admitted me and addressed some of the major issues.
The great news is as follows:They ran a new set of mri's and found that there is no new activity on my brain, my cervical spine or thoracic spine due to ms since the week before, they determined by an endoscopy that my stomach and esophagus are completely intact, no ulcers, no damage, no cancers etc. So last night they discharged us. They sent us home with a list of appointments for next week to have further testing in a few areas and with a new way to manage the reason for the spasms which they think is acid reflux.
So last night we use this new medication followed the docs instructions and at about 2am this morning I was jolted awake by the fact that I felt like I had stopped breathing. This happened for about two hours and then I finally woke Chad and said we need to call 911. At this point my entire body, all of my muscles were in constant spasm mode, Chad could feel them to the touch and I couldn't move or walk or barely talk. So to the ER we went, my body calmed down after two bags of iv fluid and a meal and they put me on a new med that they think now will help me maintain until we can get to these other major appointments next week. They thought what may have happened was a dramatic decrease in my blood sugar level since I have had one meal in 3 days. Whew!
I'm not gonna lie, I did a lot of crying this morning out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. The spirits of fear and doubt were trying to grip me in a really powerful way. But they did not overcome me. I just kept saying to myself, God, You will not put me or You to shame in this, no matter how this feels, it's not my reality. My reality is health and wholeness because God's Word says that's my reality. I still believe that my body is healed, I just don't know God's timing on the physical manifestation of it. And that, I'm sure I will never understand.
So we are home again and about to get some much needed rest. Please keep praying for us. We need my body to recover and regain what it's lost and we still need some answers in many areas. We are praying that God orders our every step next week, that He puts us with only the doctors that He has hand picked for us and coming out of next week, we get answers and feel even stronger.
I know this doesn't seem like the most encouraging post, but you have to see the process to appreciate what God is really doing. And when my body finally aligns to my spirit, everyone of you who reads this will know that God is real. That His Word is true and He is faithful to do what He has promised. For now, it's time to take a nap, love ya'll and thank you for continuing to stand with us.
The great news is as follows:They ran a new set of mri's and found that there is no new activity on my brain, my cervical spine or thoracic spine due to ms since the week before, they determined by an endoscopy that my stomach and esophagus are completely intact, no ulcers, no damage, no cancers etc. So last night they discharged us. They sent us home with a list of appointments for next week to have further testing in a few areas and with a new way to manage the reason for the spasms which they think is acid reflux.
So last night we use this new medication followed the docs instructions and at about 2am this morning I was jolted awake by the fact that I felt like I had stopped breathing. This happened for about two hours and then I finally woke Chad and said we need to call 911. At this point my entire body, all of my muscles were in constant spasm mode, Chad could feel them to the touch and I couldn't move or walk or barely talk. So to the ER we went, my body calmed down after two bags of iv fluid and a meal and they put me on a new med that they think now will help me maintain until we can get to these other major appointments next week. They thought what may have happened was a dramatic decrease in my blood sugar level since I have had one meal in 3 days. Whew!
I'm not gonna lie, I did a lot of crying this morning out of sheer exhaustion and frustration. The spirits of fear and doubt were trying to grip me in a really powerful way. But they did not overcome me. I just kept saying to myself, God, You will not put me or You to shame in this, no matter how this feels, it's not my reality. My reality is health and wholeness because God's Word says that's my reality. I still believe that my body is healed, I just don't know God's timing on the physical manifestation of it. And that, I'm sure I will never understand.
So we are home again and about to get some much needed rest. Please keep praying for us. We need my body to recover and regain what it's lost and we still need some answers in many areas. We are praying that God orders our every step next week, that He puts us with only the doctors that He has hand picked for us and coming out of next week, we get answers and feel even stronger.
I know this doesn't seem like the most encouraging post, but you have to see the process to appreciate what God is really doing. And when my body finally aligns to my spirit, everyone of you who reads this will know that God is real. That His Word is true and He is faithful to do what He has promised. For now, it's time to take a nap, love ya'll and thank you for continuing to stand with us.
Wednesday, March 14, 2012
Promises, Promises, Promises...
I woke up this morning with my body feeling,how should I say this, let's just say it's feeling...feeling everything...lol. As I was slowly getting myself ready for the day I was sitting with Chad and I said to him, " You know this would all be really discouraging if I didn't know that God was going to bring me through to the other side of all this stuff." And being the amazing man that he is, he said, " Of course it would be..." and then he laid hands on me and began to speak life into my body just like he does every day.
I made my way to my temporary hiding place, aka, the couch, and began to wash my mind in the Word as I do everyday. And this is what God gave me: Psalm 119:50, " My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Yes, amazing and God must have heard my conversation with Chad this morning :-D
I have noticed through my 7 year journey with my body and countless doctors that no one on this earth can really guarantee or promise anything. Everything comes with a disclaimer. Everything comes with fine print. Pretty much everything offered is to mask whatever is going on and then hopefully get to the root of the issue and resolve it. That's what this world has to offer...but the Kingdom of God offers all the truth and all the answers.
When you feel undiagnosable, Jesus says, " By My stripes you are healed." When you feel down and discouraged, Jesus says, " Greater am I who lives in you, than he that is in the world." When you feel like your suffering is just to much to bear, Jesus says, " My promise preserves your life and My grace is sufficient for you." No disclaimers or fine print. His promises are the only ones that are actually true and actually come to pass. You know it and I know because we have seen them at one time or another manifest themselves in our lives. This is why we have to be so careful to not allow ourselves to put our hope in the system of this world but to keep our hope in God's system, His Word.
My belief is that at the root of every issue there's these spirits called fear and doubt. Those two spirits are what keep us from having faith and confidence in what God is saying. If we can get ourselves free from them then victory will come in every area, because God has a promise for everything in our lives. So incredible, isn't it???
I can't say this enough, KEEP PRESSING INTO TO GOD'S WORD. If you want His promises, that's the way you get them. You hide them in your heart and make them apart of you until they transform you from the inside out. Whatever you are walking through, I am praying that we get to the other side of it together. I am praying that we will all have the faith and confidence that we need in God and His Word to overcome while we walk this earth. Promises, promises, promises...the right ones will set us free!
I made my way to my temporary hiding place, aka, the couch, and began to wash my mind in the Word as I do everyday. And this is what God gave me: Psalm 119:50, " My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life." Yes, amazing and God must have heard my conversation with Chad this morning :-D
I have noticed through my 7 year journey with my body and countless doctors that no one on this earth can really guarantee or promise anything. Everything comes with a disclaimer. Everything comes with fine print. Pretty much everything offered is to mask whatever is going on and then hopefully get to the root of the issue and resolve it. That's what this world has to offer...but the Kingdom of God offers all the truth and all the answers.
When you feel undiagnosable, Jesus says, " By My stripes you are healed." When you feel down and discouraged, Jesus says, " Greater am I who lives in you, than he that is in the world." When you feel like your suffering is just to much to bear, Jesus says, " My promise preserves your life and My grace is sufficient for you." No disclaimers or fine print. His promises are the only ones that are actually true and actually come to pass. You know it and I know because we have seen them at one time or another manifest themselves in our lives. This is why we have to be so careful to not allow ourselves to put our hope in the system of this world but to keep our hope in God's system, His Word.
My belief is that at the root of every issue there's these spirits called fear and doubt. Those two spirits are what keep us from having faith and confidence in what God is saying. If we can get ourselves free from them then victory will come in every area, because God has a promise for everything in our lives. So incredible, isn't it???
I can't say this enough, KEEP PRESSING INTO TO GOD'S WORD. If you want His promises, that's the way you get them. You hide them in your heart and make them apart of you until they transform you from the inside out. Whatever you are walking through, I am praying that we get to the other side of it together. I am praying that we will all have the faith and confidence that we need in God and His Word to overcome while we walk this earth. Promises, promises, promises...the right ones will set us free!
Tuesday, March 13, 2012
Tangled
Some of you might find this amusing and some of you might find it a bit childish and immature, but this is the way God speaks to me sometimes! Actually a lot of the time! I have a 2 and 3 year old so everything has to be broken down for me and put into simple terms because I don't have a whole lot of comprehension ability it seems some days (can I get an AMEN from every mom out there???).
Anyway, this morning I woke up with the lyrics to a really sweet song called "I See The Light" sung by Flynn and Rapunzel towards the end of an adventurous,treacherous yet loving tale/movie called "Tangled". It's really only a couple of lines from the chorus that have been ringing in my head but all the words to the chorus apply to what God is saying to me today:
And at last I see the light
And it's like the fog has lifted
And at last I see the light
And it's like the sky is new
And it's warm and real and bright
And the world has somehow shifted
All at once everything looks different
Now that I see you
No matter how many times I see this movie, this part brings tears to my eyes. I know, ridiculous, but even now, it brings tears to my eyes because right now, it's what I am experiencing in the spirit and it's awesome.
Psalm 119:130, " The unfolding of your words gives light; it gives understanding to the simple." God's Word has been unfolding and shedding light on everything in my life. I am a very simple person and He has been giving me so much understanding. The last two lines of that song, " All at once everything looks different, now that I see You", those are the only two lines that keep singing in me, like a love song straight to Him. Cheesy, I know...but it's right where this simple girl is. The fog has lifted and it's amazing to see Jesus the way I have desired to see Him for so long. His Word is making Him more and more visible and I feel romanced by Him, loved by Him and pursued by Him.
My husband, Chad, makes me feel like this in the natural. He is the most amazing, faithful, loving and patient man. When he holds me or hugs me it's like God has come down in human form and is tangibly allowing me to feel His love (lol, some of you are probably like gag me with a spoon!). I thank God that He uses other people to show us in a tangible form how much He really cares for us and loves us. But now, when I read God's Word and see Him so clearly, it's like He is tangibly here with me loving on me and talking to me just as if He were here in the flesh. I crave Him, just like I crave my husband's strong arms wrapped around me.
I love this journey He has us on because He is bringing everything to light so that we can live His perfect will set before us.
Monday, March 12, 2012
" I wouldn't trade it for the world"
In response to Paul pleading for God to remove the thorn from his flesh He said in 2 Corinthians 12:9, " My grace is sufficient for you, for MY POWER IS MADE PERFECT IN WEAKNESS." Then Paul goes on to say in the last part of verse 9-10, " Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
While Paul desired not to have this thorn in his flesh,you know what I hear Paul saying? I hear him saying that he wouldn't trade what God is doing in His life for the world. He realized that his weaknesses, the insults, the hardships, the persecutions and difficulties were what made him more powerful in the spirit. Paul was an amazing man.
I have no desire to be primarily restricted to couch, to take 30 pills a day, to not be able to take care of my husband, my kids or my home, to not be able to exercise and go to what seems like every doctor in the city, to barely be able to walk or eat etc...etc...etc. But you know what? I wouldn't trade this season for the world. God's grace has been so sufficient and I have never been stronger in the midst of my weakness. God's Word and His life has never been more alive in me. God is so good to even give us a way to be content in the midst of weakness...yet another promise, that if we allow it to be living and active in our lives, it will be.
The truth is that most of us will not run after God with great intentionality unless we desperately need to. I remember as a teenager that I would spend hours alone with God, seriously, I know, that sounds really humble :-D, but it's the truth. I was always having to overcome something, just like all of you. Now, I am running after Him desperately and with great intentionality because, I want to be made strong in my weakness. I want people to see how powerful God really is and how powerful He really can be when in the physical it seems impossible. God is giving me the grace to delight in this season. Now don't confuse delight with acceptance. In other words, I am content and delight in what God is doing in the midst of this current trial, but I do not accept that it will not pass, God's Word says that it will, in His timing. I want to make that very clear. God is a Healer...period.
I have to access God's grace every. single. day. and every. single. minute. I seriously have been learning a whole new meaning behind living by the spirit and walking in the spirit. It's finally starting to become more my nature than what my flesh says. As a leader and someone who thought all this time that I was pretty close to God, I must say, that's a hard thing to admit for me. It's very humbling to watch God reveal to me the weaknesses in my spiritual armor, but then He comes right back around and makes His power perfect in the midst of it. Then I can't help but to humble myself to this amazing process and just trust that if He loves me enough to make His grace sufficient, then He loves me enough to bring me through to the other side. He is leading me into ALL truth and I love it, I embrace it and see His power more and more each day.
I am praying for all of you, that God's grace will be sufficient and that His power will be made perfect in your weakness. If you haven't already, humble yourself to the process, whatever that looks like for you and hang onto your seat...you won't want to trade it for the world either.
While Paul desired not to have this thorn in his flesh,you know what I hear Paul saying? I hear him saying that he wouldn't trade what God is doing in His life for the world. He realized that his weaknesses, the insults, the hardships, the persecutions and difficulties were what made him more powerful in the spirit. Paul was an amazing man.
I have no desire to be primarily restricted to couch, to take 30 pills a day, to not be able to take care of my husband, my kids or my home, to not be able to exercise and go to what seems like every doctor in the city, to barely be able to walk or eat etc...etc...etc. But you know what? I wouldn't trade this season for the world. God's grace has been so sufficient and I have never been stronger in the midst of my weakness. God's Word and His life has never been more alive in me. God is so good to even give us a way to be content in the midst of weakness...yet another promise, that if we allow it to be living and active in our lives, it will be.
The truth is that most of us will not run after God with great intentionality unless we desperately need to. I remember as a teenager that I would spend hours alone with God, seriously, I know, that sounds really humble :-D, but it's the truth. I was always having to overcome something, just like all of you. Now, I am running after Him desperately and with great intentionality because, I want to be made strong in my weakness. I want people to see how powerful God really is and how powerful He really can be when in the physical it seems impossible. God is giving me the grace to delight in this season. Now don't confuse delight with acceptance. In other words, I am content and delight in what God is doing in the midst of this current trial, but I do not accept that it will not pass, God's Word says that it will, in His timing. I want to make that very clear. God is a Healer...period.
I have to access God's grace every. single. day. and every. single. minute. I seriously have been learning a whole new meaning behind living by the spirit and walking in the spirit. It's finally starting to become more my nature than what my flesh says. As a leader and someone who thought all this time that I was pretty close to God, I must say, that's a hard thing to admit for me. It's very humbling to watch God reveal to me the weaknesses in my spiritual armor, but then He comes right back around and makes His power perfect in the midst of it. Then I can't help but to humble myself to this amazing process and just trust that if He loves me enough to make His grace sufficient, then He loves me enough to bring me through to the other side. He is leading me into ALL truth and I love it, I embrace it and see His power more and more each day.
I am praying for all of you, that God's grace will be sufficient and that His power will be made perfect in your weakness. If you haven't already, humble yourself to the process, whatever that looks like for you and hang onto your seat...you won't want to trade it for the world either.
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Vision of the future
When you pull up the homepage of our church's website, there is a picture that brings me to tears and gives me great vision and hope. You see that girl in the purple shirt with her hands raised standing strong, worshiping? Yes, that's me...that's who I really am. A healthy, strong, full of life, woman of God! Not a sick, feeble person who can't hardly get off the couch. 
I go to the site every week to listen to the messages and a few weeks ago when all of this started, I noticed this picture for the first time. It's so rare that I am on the stage these days so it seemed like God put that picture there just for me to have a visual of who I know that I really am. Proverbs 29:18, " Where there is no vision (revelation), the people perish." I am realizing that one of the things that really motivates me and keeps me walking by the spirit is vision of what God has on the other side of this process. Without that, I know that I would be perishing and not prospering.
There's a lot of us who when we are trying to lose weight, or have that dream vacation in mind or want to buy that new thing...we get a picture of when we were at our skinniest, a picture of the cruise ship or island that we can't wait to get to or a picture of that new thing we really want and we put it up in front of us to keep us motivated. To keep us pressing through whatever is trying to keep us from that goal. It's the same in the spirit. We have to use God's Word, put it in front of us and let that be our vision of what the future really holds. What's really true.
We have to remember that our reality is that we are made in God's image, He is spirit and so are we. So His Word is our picture to keep us full of vision and faith of what our future really looks like. I heard a prominent preacher say, " God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him and sickness and disease is not a reward." Right on, that's what I was thinking! We can apply this to every situation...health, finances, relationships...everything.
Hebrews 11:6, " But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Have faith, that He exists and that He REWARDS us that diligently seek Him. REWARDS, NOT PUNISHES. Keep seeking God and you will have His vision for your life and you will see His reward manifest in you. Happy Sunday!
I go to the site every week to listen to the messages and a few weeks ago when all of this started, I noticed this picture for the first time. It's so rare that I am on the stage these days so it seemed like God put that picture there just for me to have a visual of who I know that I really am. Proverbs 29:18, " Where there is no vision (revelation), the people perish." I am realizing that one of the things that really motivates me and keeps me walking by the spirit is vision of what God has on the other side of this process. Without that, I know that I would be perishing and not prospering.
There's a lot of us who when we are trying to lose weight, or have that dream vacation in mind or want to buy that new thing...we get a picture of when we were at our skinniest, a picture of the cruise ship or island that we can't wait to get to or a picture of that new thing we really want and we put it up in front of us to keep us motivated. To keep us pressing through whatever is trying to keep us from that goal. It's the same in the spirit. We have to use God's Word, put it in front of us and let that be our vision of what the future really holds. What's really true.
We have to remember that our reality is that we are made in God's image, He is spirit and so are we. So His Word is our picture to keep us full of vision and faith of what our future really looks like. I heard a prominent preacher say, " God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him and sickness and disease is not a reward." Right on, that's what I was thinking! We can apply this to every situation...health, finances, relationships...everything.
Hebrews 11:6, " But without faith it is impossible to please Him: for he that comes to God must believe that He is, and that He is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him." Have faith, that He exists and that He REWARDS us that diligently seek Him. REWARDS, NOT PUNISHES. Keep seeking God and you will have His vision for your life and you will see His reward manifest in you. Happy Sunday!
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